Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater
by Helmet 798
Summary: Chef Hatchet hosts season 4.5 of Total Drama! 21 Contestants from all 4 seasons, plus 3 OCs, will compete in challenges based off of Total Drama Fan-Fics, to win 750,000 dollars!
1. Episode One, Part 1

Welcome to the first chapter of my first ever fan-fiction. At the start of this year, I started reading Total Drama fan-fiction, and was impressed by the amount of high-quality fan-fics on this site. Starting in February, I planned out a story called "Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater", but decided to put off the actual writing until the school year ended. Well my first year of College ended a few weeks ago, but since my family is moving, I spent last week packing. But now that I am on vacation, I finally have a chance to tell the story I have been planning since the year began.

As you most likely know, I do not own the rights to the Total Drama cartoon.

* * *

Episode 1, Part 1: Candy For Your Thoughts

The voice of Chef Hatchet narrates: "Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, that scrawny little bubble boy won the prize money and Chris finally got what was coming to him when he got arrested for turning Camp Wawanakwa into an environmentalist's worst nightmare!

Now the 5th season of Total Drama is being planned, but we ran into a problem with our producers: our contract says that each season needs at least 26 episodes before we can start a new one! But Chris is still in prison, and the island is still quarantined. Not to mention, Chris blew most of the budget on building that Monument to himself.

So with a tiny budget and a lack of time for planning challenges, we will be taking ideas from Total Drama Fan-Fiction for new challenges. And since Chris won't be out of prison for another few months, I will be hosting. You got a problem with 'that?! Didn't think so. So sit down, shut up, and look forward to 24 competitors competing on Season 4.5: Total. Drama. Fan-Fiction Theater!"

* * *

We see Chef standing outside the abandoned film lot from Total Drama Action. He turns to the camera and tells the audience: "Welcome to Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater, where over the course of at least 13 episodes, 24 teenagers will be competing for 750,000 dollars. 21 of these teens have competed on the show before, while 3 of them are newcomers to Total Drama. And here they come."

A bus drove up to the film lot to drop off the competitors. As the first few teenagers got off the bus, Chef introduced them. "Say hello to the super geek, Harold."

Harold stepped off the bus, carrying his keyboard, and asked the chef turned host, "Chef, how can we have a 13 episode season with over 20 competitors? Don't you realize that's too many? Gosh!"

"Shut up Harold!" Chef snapped at him. "This season was rushed into production at the last minute, and we didn't have time to plan the most efficient season! Besides, we may have more than 13 episodes if our ratings are solid."**[1]**

"You don't have to yell Chef." Harold replied before adding "Idiot!"

Chef rolled his eyes at Harold's response, but didn't say anything else to him, instead introducing the next three teens to get off the bus. "And here are Harold's fellow band members: Trent, Justin, and Cody."

'The guitarist, model, and geek got off the bus, and looked around at their surroundings. Trent looked at his surroundings and declared: "It's cool to compete in another season, although I would have preferred to do it somewhere else."

"I know exactly how you feel" Justin told his friend, "I also got my heart, plus most of my bones, broken at this film lot. **[2]**"

As a certain purple-haired fan-girl stepped off the bus, Chef said "Here is Cody's number one fan and stalker, Sierra."

Cody responded to Chef's description by saying: "Hey Chef! Sierra isn't a stalker anymore! Ever since season 3 ended, we've been on good terms, and she hasn't stalked me since. **[3]**" Cody then turned to Sierra, whose hair had grown back, hugged her, and said: "How's my best friend been?"

Sierra responded by saying: "Things have been so great Cody! All of my blogs have gotten more views ever since I competed on World Tour! Plus I have started many more blogs, including one that chronicles all the stuff I saw firsthand on World Tour; plus I also have blogs for all the contestants from season 4. But the best thing that has happened to me is all the fan-mail I've gotten and all the fan-sites that I've read. The fact that some people consider me their favorite Total Drama contestant makes me feel so…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Chef, Harold, Trent, Justin, and Cody covered their ears as Sierra continued to squeal with joy.

"Oh, wonderful, you have _so many _fans", a raven haired teenager with a golden tooth said sarcastically. "You do know that you also have a ton of haters right?"

"You're _totally_ qualified to say that", an Indian teenager said even more sarcastically. "After all, you have, like, _no _haters."

"Shut up maggots!" Chef snapped at them. "Don't step off the bus before I introduce you. Anyway, the next two to arrive are the queen of mean, Heather, and everyone's favorite deadpan snarker, Noah."

Helmet 798 then decided to pick up the pace for this chapter and write down that the other veteran contestants to arrive were Leshawna, Gwen, Bridgette, Duncan, Jo, Tyler (Who tripped when he got off the bus, and fell down into an open sewer), Lindsay, Anne Maria, Cameron, Owen, Mike, Zoey, and Izzy (Who arrived on the film lot by swinging on a vine, rather than by bus).

* * *

After all the veterans of the show arrived, Chef said "Now it's time to introduce our new competitors. First, he's a poor and pitiful orphan from Brazil, Pablo Barata. **[4]**"

A fairly short Brazilian teen exited the bus. He had short and scruffy brown hair, large hazel eyes, and hints of stubble on his face. He was wearing a dark brown t-shirt with a rip where the left sleeve should have been, worn out black jean shorts, and two different shoes, one being brown, with the other being gray. He was practically nothing but skin and bones. He looked like the type of guy who rarely got a bite to eat, and that would be correct.

"It is wonderful to join this great show!" Pablo declared. "I can't wait to meet all of my favorite contestants and eat three square meals a day!"

"What?!" Owen shouted in shock. "You don't get to eat three times a day? I barely get off by eating six times a day! Oh the humanity!"

"So, you're so poor that you can't afford full meals?" Bridgette asked Pablo with concern.

Pablo responded to Bridgette's question by saying "Correct. My brother works as an English teacher in Brazil, but doesn't get paid much. I can't afford decent clothes either, which is why I wear this torn t-shirt and two un-matching shoes. But if I'm lucky, I could win the prize money, and move my Brother and I out of the slums!"

Bridgette replied by saying "Well, if I don't win the competition, I'll be rooting for you!"

"_If_ you don't win the competition? Someone without a conviction to win does not deserve to earn that prize money" said someone with a Russian accent.

The next new competitor stepped off the bus. She was a girl with bleach-blonde hair down to her shoulders, periwinkle eyes, and lightly tanned skin. She was wearing triangular glasses, a white blouse with a necklace with a golden 'V' on it, a pair of fingerless gloves, a gray skirt, and black high-heel shoes. This new girl continued to speak: "But then again, it's not like you _could _win. Not when _I _am in the completion. "

"What did I say about stepping off the bus before I introduced ya?!" Chef asked rhetorically. "Anyway, say hello to Viktoriya Manya Syuzanna. **[5]**"

"Veek-to-ree-yah?" Duncan asked, "Isn't that name pronounced, like, Victoria or something?"

"Gosh Duncan!" Harold told the delinquent, "Viktoriya is how Russians, Bulgarians, and Ukrainians say the English name Victoria. You're such an idiot!"

Duncan grabbed Harold by his shirt with one hand, pointed a fist at him with the other hand, glared at him, and said "Idiot? I'd say the idiot here is you for forgetting what I do to nerds like you."

Harold smirked and responded by punching Duncan, knocking him to the ground. "No, _you're _the idiot for forgetting about my killer left hook. **[6]**"

Duncan got up and glared at Harold as Harold did the same. But before a fight could ensue, Gwen stepped in and pushed them away from each other, saying: "That's enough out of both of you! Harold, if you ever punch my boyfriend again. I'll have to hit you with a shovel again! **[7]**"

Duncan chuckled, saying: "That's my girl!"

Gwen turned around and glared at Duncan: "I said that's enough out of **both** of you. Duncan, you didn't have to threaten Harold for correcting you! I thought we talked about this; I don't like it when you act like a jerk!"

"Neither do I!" declared the final new competitor as he stepped off the bus. He was a tall and muscular Caucasian teen wearing a black fedora over his medium-length reddish brown hair. He was also wearing a black sports-jacket over a light gray t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and black boots.

Chef sighed, not bothering to complain that the newest competitor spoke up prior to his introduction, and said: "And here is our third new competitor, Jerome Smith."

Cameron raised his hand and asked Chef: "Chef, why did you say the full names of all of the new contestants when you introduced them, when you only said the first names for all the returning contestants?"

Jerome responded by saying: "If I had to guess, it's because names can describe a lot about a person. For example, my last name, Smith, comes from the word 'smite', which is what I'm gonna do with all of the villains and bullies in the competition, **who don't deserve to win that cash prize!**" After saying this, Jerome glared at both Jo and Duncan.

Duncan responded by asking: "Are you talking about me?"

"Yeah you!" Jerome said. "I don't like your type Duncan. You're a bully who tormented Harold for an entire freakin' season and cheated on your girlfriend. You're a grade-A scumbag who doesn't deserve to win this competition."

Gwen frowned when she heard this, and said: "Look here Jerome, don't you ever insult my boyfriend! Duncan can be a jerk at times, but he can be nice too!"

Jerome scoffed, and said: "Oh yeah? Name one good thing that Duncan did on World Tour."

Gwen responded: "I will! He was nice to me, and he…..um…well…he did…." Gwen sighed and stopped speaking. At this both Jerome and Courtney smirked, while Duncan frowned.

"Are you gonna let him get away with saying that stuff about me Gwen?" Duncan asked Gwen, slightly ticked off.

"Well he kind of has a point Duncan!" Gwen responded. "You may have been nice to me during World Tour, but you treated everyone else like dirt! Like when you threw that dingo at Cody, which by the way, led to me getting eliminated in Australia!"

"You had that elimination coming to you boyfriend kisser!" Courtney yelled at Gwen.

Gwen sighed and said "Really Courtney? You're still mad about that? When will you let that go and move on with your life?"

"I can't move on in my life, **because you two ruined my life!**" Courtney yelled with fury at both Gwen and Duncan.

Cody walked up to Courtney and said "Maybe you should calm down a little bit Court-"

Courtney interrupted Cody by screaming:** "SHUT UP!" **

"**_All of ya'll_ hush up!" **yelled Chef to everybody. "You're bickering may produce ratings, but it takes up time! We don't have all day to get this show started! Now keep your mouths shut and follow me!"

All 24 contestants immediately did what Chef asked them to do, and went into the film lot to prepare for the competition.

* * *

Author Notes:

**[1]** For the record, there will be more than 13 episodes, but there will be fewer than 26. You'll find out how many episodes there will be about halfway through the story.

**[2]** Trent is obviously talking about how he and Gwen broke up during season two. Justin is talking about the Total Drama Action episode, 'The Princess Pride', where the male model falls for Courtney. Courtney responded by manipulating Justin to win invincibility, knocking him off a tower (which put him in a full body-cast), and promptly voting the male model off.

**[3]** Unlike most fan-fics that keep Sierra as a creepy stalker, I decided to keep Sierra's character development in the last few episodes of World Tour in which she stops stalking Cody and is satisfied with being only friends with Cody. There will not be Coderra in this fic either.

**[4]** Pablo's last name, Barata, is the Portuguese word for 'cockroach'.

**[5]** You may recognize Viktoriya from ferguson97's fan-fiction "Total Drama World Tour." When I created her, I was doing so fully planning to use her in my story. The reason I bring this up is that ferguson97 took her character in a different direction. I created her to be an antagonist, and based her on Courtney's worst traits. However ferguson97 toned down her arrogance and made her sort of a hero/anti-hero instead. I do think that was a good move on his part, since Emma and Zane are better antagonists for his story, but for my story, Viktoriya will be one of the villains. (The other villains, including this story's main antagonist, will be revealed in upcoming chapters.)

BTW, Viktoriya Manya Syuzanna is the how the Russians would say Victoria Mary Susan. Or in other words, Victory Mary Sue. Viktoriya is supposed to be a deconstruction and parody of Mary Sues, which will be explored in more detail in upcoming chapters.

**[6]** A reference to the Total Drama Action episode: 'Crouching Courtney, Hidden Owen', where Harold develops a killer left hook punch, and later on in the episode uses it to knock out Duncan when the delinquent insults Leshawna.

**[7] **A reference to the Total Drama Action episode: 'The Chefshank Redemption', where Gwen hits Harold with her infamous shovel of doom in order to throw the challenge.

* * *

So that's my first chapter. I was planning on showing more of the episode, but I ended up typing 2000 words just to introduce the story, and several hundred more for my author notes. Luckily, I'm on vacation, so I have tons of time to write, and thus, I'm planning to add two more chapters to this story by the end of the week. Constructive criticism is welcome, so please review.

And be sure to check out the next chapter, where we will discover what happened to the abandoned film lot after Total Drama Action ended, we will see the first confessionals, and the first challenge, based on Strix Moonwing's fan-fiction: "Candy for your Thoughts", will be revealed. See ya next time!


	2. Episode One, Part 2

While I was hoping for more reviews, I'm still incredibly grateful for my three reviewers.

**ForteKham617 – **I'm glad you returned the favor and wrote the first review for this story. I'm glad you're already hooked, since I was concerned that the first chapter wasn't gripping enough. I'm glad you liked my original characters, and don't worry, I have plans to give them lots of development. Pablo in particular is going to be very prominent in this story, although he won't get significant focus until episode 3. Thanks for the fav and follow!

**zquest – **Even though you've only written down four words, this review is very encouraging. I'm glad you think that this story is awesome, and hopefully this update is soon enough for you.

**Guest – **I'm glad you already love my story! Hopefully you'll love this chapter even more than the first one!

Now to get on to the actual story.

* * *

Episode 1, Part 2: Candy For Your Thoughts

All 24 contestants entered the film lot. For the most part, it looked the same as when Total Drama Action was filmed. However there were two buildings that stuck out like a sore thumb, as if they were added much later to the lot.

Chef confirmed this, explaining: "After Total Drama Action ended, Chris decided to open a museum here dedicated to himself and to the show. After all, having a museum right where the second season happened seemed like a good idea."

"It certainly was! My family and I visited this museum at least five times." Said Sierra.

"I'm glad you liked it." Chef told Sierra. "Unfortunately, nobody else did, since we had almost no visitors. I'm not surprised, why visit the place where _everybody's_ least favorite season of Total Drama was filmed?"

"Because even the weakest season of Total Drama is better than most other TV shows!" Sierra exclaimed.

"Wow Sierra, your understanding of rhetorical questions is comprehensive." Noah said in his signature sarcastic tone.

"Anyway, this museum never took off, so it's also abandoned. But ya'll are welcome to visit it when there isn't a challenge. There isn't a whole lot in there though, outside of a theater room where you can watch every single episode of Total Drama."

* * *

Confessionals:

Pablo: Well, here goes my first of many confessionals. I'm glad that I'll get the chance to re-watch all of the Total Drama episodes. It will be a great chance to study the strongest competitors and their strategies.

*Static*

Sierra: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I can't believe it! I'm back on Total Drama, I get to meet and compete with some of the season 4 contestants, and I can watch every single episode of Total Drama whenever I want! It's like my own personal Heaven. It makes me feel so…EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (The lens on the camera then cracks from the fan-girl's high pitched squees.)

*Static*

Noah: (Enters the confessional and notices the cracked lens) It's _wonderful _to be back on Total Drama, with its high production values.

* * *

"So wait, what is the other building for?" Asked Zoey.

"I was getting to that. After Chris' Total Drama museum idea bombed, he sold the film lot to a theater troupe, and that theater troupe knocked down the place where the Gilded Chris ceremonies happened and replaced it with a theater that they could perform in." Chef explained.

All 24 contestants then followed Chef into this theater. While they were walking, Tyler was sulking. "Man I hate this! I fell down the sewer last chapter and nobody noticed! I had to get out between the chapters and take a shower. And when I tried to take a shower, the spout poured out vinegar instead of water! So I smell doubly terrible and **still **nobody notices me. It's like none of you care about me at all!"

"Don't worry Tyson, _I _care about you!" Lindsay said trying to comfort her boyfriend.

"I'm Ty_ler _Lindsay." Tyler said correcting his girlfriend.

"Ohhhh, right. Sorry about that Tyler; sometimes it's just hard for my brain to remember names."

"Sometimes?" Courtney asked sarcastically.

"Stop making snarky remarks and get your butts in this theater **now!" **Chef yelled at Tyler, Lindsay, and Courtney, who were the only contestants not in the theater. All three of them quickly complied with Chef's request. Inside the theater was a large stage with a medium sized auditorium with red seats. Chef explained what the theater was for, "This here theater is where the elimination ceremony will occur. If your team loses, then ya'll have to vote off one of your team members. If you don't receive a marshmallow that means you're eliminated from the competition for good and you will be escorted to Playa De Losers via a ride in the Lame-o-sine. Any questions?"

"Yes. Why are we receiving marshmallows when the symbol of immunity for Total Drama Action was the Gilded Chris award?" Asked Harold.

"Because the company that made the Gilded Chris Awards is out of business." Chef explained. "Besides the immunity marshmallows are a fan favorite, unlike anything in Total Drama Action."

"So will there be an elimination in every episode like last season?" Asked Mike.

"That's right Mr. MPD. And also like last season, there will be a Mclean-Brand Chris Head, carved out of wood, hidden somewhere on the film lot. If you find it, you got yourself a 'get out of elimination free card' so to speak. In addition, we also carved up a Mclean-Brand DJ Heroic Sacrifice Head." Chef then held up a small wooden statue of DJ's head.

"So what does _that_ do?" Asked Leshawna.

"It allows you to save your teammate from elimination by taking their place." Chef explained.

"So it's a statue you use to exit the competition? Pathetic, absolutely pathetic." said Viktoriya.

Courtney nodded her head in agreement and said "I agree. Only a loser would willingly quit the competition."

After hearing this, Harold and Duncan yelled "Hey!" simultaneously.**[1]**

"Why did you even make that DJ statue?" Asked Heather. "I doubt that anybody is gonna use it."

"It's a blatant plot device that won't be relevant until several dozen chapters later." Chef explained, breaking the fourth wall.

"Gosh Chef! Don't give away spoilers!" Said a frustrated Harold, "It will ruin the surprise and disappoint the readers! Idiot!"

"Boy, you better stop calling me an idiot if ya know what's good for ya." Chef said, threatening the Napoleon Dynamite parody.

"So why is it a head of DJ if he isn't even competing?" Asked Bridgette.

"I was getting to that." Chef responded. "Follow me to the craft services tent."

* * *

Exiting the theater, the Chef turned host led the group of teenagers to the craft services tent, which had three tables, rather than two.

"Every morning all of you will be eating breakfast here. After you're done eating we will start the first half of the challenge. And after that, you will get a chance to take a break and eat lunch. After lunch, we will complete the challenge. Then all of you will eat dinner, and after that the losing team will vote off a teammate."

"Hooray!" Pablo exclaimed with joy. "I'm looking forward to eating delicious food here."

"I don't want to rain on your parade", Noah told Pablo, "but Chef's cooking isn't exactly 5-star restaurant material."

Chef looked annoyed at Noah, and stated "Well I've got good news for your wise-guy, I'm not going to be your cook this season, since I'll be busy hosting the show."

All 24 teens looked at one another. When this statement fully sunk in, all of the contestants burst into applaud, many of them cheering that they didn't have to eat Chef's crappy meals. Leshawna even shouted "Hallelujah!"

"Don't get too happy, or I might just step down from being host." Chef threatened the teens. "Anyway, your meals will be cooked by DJ."

The Jamaican teen stepped out of the kitchen carrying a pot of soup. "It's great to see you all again! Hopefully you guys will like my cooking."

"Hopefully?", Leshawna told the gentle giant, "Honey, you got a gift with cooking, the only good memories I have of Total Drama Action is eating Chef's food when improved by your secret spices!"

"Yeah DJ, you've got mad cooking skills!" Harold told his friend.

"Thanks guys, well I better get back to the kitchen, I need to make sandwiches for your lunch." After this statement, DJ went back into the kitchen.

"Well, that's enough exposition." Chef said. "Now all of ya'll step outside; we need to determine teams."

* * *

All 24 teens stepped out of the tent, and were surprised to see a familiar giant slot machine.** [2]**

"Since we don't have time to do a challenge to determine teams", Chef explained, "we'll pick the teams at random with this here giant slot machine. Watch." Chef pulled the lever, and the faces of Harold, Leshawna, and Trent showed up on the slots. "So you three will be on team 1." Chef told them.

"Sweet! I'm glad to be on a team with one of my band mates." Trent said high-fiving Harold.

Chef pulled the lever again, and the slot machine displayed the faces of Cameron, Mike, and Zoey. "You three will be on team 2." Chef told the season 4 contestants.

"All right!" Cameron said with excitement, "I'm glad I'm still on a team with my best friends!"

Chef pulled on the lever a third time, and the machine picked Tyler, Lindsay, and Jo for team 3.

Tired of writing boring exposition, and wanting to start writing the challenge, Helmet 798 skipped ahead in the story to the point where all the team members were chosen.

"OK", Chef said to team 1, "Harold, Leshawna, Trent, Owen, Noah, Heather, Sierra, Anne Maria, and Jerome; your team will be known as the Fanon Fixers."

* * *

Confessional:

Jerome: I like my team. I'm glad that I'll be able to work with Harold and Heather, who are my favorite contestants.

* * *

"And Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Duncan, Gwen, Bridgette, Viktoriya, and Pablo; your team will be known as the Sue Crew." Chef said, addressing the second team.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: When it comes to teams, I've hit the jackpot! First of all, every single one of my teammates has made it to the merge at least once; well excluding that Viktoriya chick. But even better, our team has _two_ contestants who have won this competition before: Duncan and Cameron! Our team is so good, that it's practically a guarantee that I'll make it to the merge!

* * *

"The Sue Crew?" Zoey asked, wondering what her team name meant.

"It's most likely a reference to Mary Sues." Noah explained to Zoey. "A Mary Sue is a term that originated from Fan-Fiction that refers to characters who have no flaws."

"Well then I'm on the right team!" Viktoriya said with a smug smirk. "Because I'm flawless!"

"Wow, boastful much?" Duncan asked his teammate.

"I'm not boasting, I'm simply stating facts about myself. Viktoriya responded to the delinquent. "I'm super smart, super strong, and super skilled, and I _will _win this competition."

"And finally", Chef said addressing the last team, "Tyler, Lindsay, Jo, Justin, Cody, Courtney, and Izzy; your team will be known as the Shipping Sailors."

* * *

Confessional:

Courtney: I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, with the exception of Tyler, all of the members of my team have made it to the merge at least once. On the other hand, that doesn't automatically make them good competitors! Justin is too lazy to compete, Lindsay is a moron, and Cody only got far in the competition because of Sierra! Really, outside of me, the only really good competitor on our team is Jo. (Courtney sighs, before smiling a bit.) But at least I'm not on a team with that ogre and his backstabbing girlfriend!

* * *

"Shipping huh?" Tyler said. "As in sending stuff from one place to another?"

"No silly!" Sierra corrected the jock. "Shipping is the supporting of two characters in a relationship. For example, some people ship Duncan and Courtney while others ship Duncan and Gwen."

"Which happens to be _my _preference." Duncan said, winking at Gwen, which made Courtney scowl.

"Wait a minute Chef!", Jo protested, "Our team only has 7 members, but the Fanon Fixers has 9 members and the Sue Crew has 8 members. That's not fair!"

"Well too bad!" Chef responded unsympathetically, "Life ain't fair either, but ya don't hear me complain about it! Now shut up, and let me explain the first challenge!"

Chef snapped his fingers and an intern showed up next to him, carrying three copies of the fan-fiction, 'Candy For Your Thoughts.'

"All right maggots, 'Candy For Your Thoughts' is a fan-fiction that takes place during World Tour, and ships Cody and Courtney." Chef told the contestants.

"WHAT?!" shouted Cody and Courtney at the same time.

* * *

Confessionals:

Cody: Me and Courtney?! (Cody has a shocked facial expression) Granted, she's pretty, but she's also bossy and mean! I should know, I was on her team during World Tour, and I've personally witnessed her do some nasty stuff! Like when she tossed Tyler off the plane, even though he was greatly injured! (Cody then sighs and looks a little sad) But at the same time, I do feel sorry for her. I mean, when Gwen got together with Duncan it broke my heart, but it **crushed **her soul. So I do understand how she feels, and I do want to be friends with her…(Cody pauses for a minute) But _only_ friends, nothing more.

* * *

Chef continued to describe the fan-fic. "The first chapter of this story features Cody comforting Courtney, who is distraught over Duncan cheating on her. Now for the first challenge, each team will be reenacting that scene. You've got an hour to read this fic, choose two actors, and rehearse the scene. After an hour, we will go back to the theater and each team will perform the scene for three judges, including myself. Whichever team does the best will win a big advantage for part two of the challenge."

After Chef explained the challenge, the intern gave a copy of the fan-fic to each team. The three teams separated to go and get started on the challenge.

* * *

The Fanon Fixers went to studio 4 to rehearse. After reading through the script, the team decided to pick the two actors for the challenge.

"Let me do it!" Harold requested, "I spent an entire summer at Thespian Steve's Acting Camp!"

"I think that's a great idea." Said Trent. "Out of all the members of our team, Harold is the one that knows Cody the best. They spend a ton of time together, even when the Drama Brothers aren't recording."

"Very well." Said Noah. "But who should play Courtney?"

Sierra and Leshawna both looked at Heather. "Who me?" Heather asked.

"Yeah you!" said Sierra. "You're super manipulative, which means you're great at acting."

"You _are _good at faking tears." Said Trent, speaking from experience. [3]

"All right fine, I'll do it." Said Heather, "But I won't like it. Give me that fan-fic, I need to rehearse my lines."

* * *

Meanwhile in the studio next store, the Sue Crew was also preparing for the challenge.

Cameron spoke up saying, "I can play Cody. I'm scrawny and geeky enough for the role. But who should play Courtney?"

Duncan responded by saying, "Viktoriya should play Miss C.I.T."

"No thank you." Said Viktoriya. "I'm not going act like Courtney, she's a loser."

"Hey!" Said Bridgette, annoyed at Viktoriya for insulting her friend. "Courtney's not a loser! She made it to the merge in two different seasons."

"True, but the farthest she has gotten in the competition is a pathetic fourth place." Viktoriya responded rudely. "Plus in season three, she sabotaged her team, which meant she wasn't a winner; ergo, Courtney is objectively a loser."

"There's no need to insult Courtney!" Bridgette said angrily.

Gwen stepped in to stop the argument and to get Viktoriya to cooperate. "Calm down you two. It's obvious that Viktoriya doesn't have the ability or skill to act like Courtney."

"WHAT!?" Said a shocked Viktoriya, "I'll show you! I'll act exactly like Courtney and win the challenge for our team!"

"Good to hear." Said Gwen with a satisfied smirk.

"Wait a minute," Said Mike, "What happened to Zoey?"

"Here I am Mike!" Said Zoey, who was carrying several pieces of clothing with her. "I stopped by the wardrobe department and managed to find some useful stuff!"

Zoey handed Cameron a shirt that looked similar to Cody's. After that, she gave Viktoriya a gray sweater vest and a green pair of pants. After putting on the shirt, Cameron looked similar to Cody, and Viktoriya managed to replicate Courtney's outfit when she wore the sweater vest over her white blouse.

"Wow, that was a great idea Zoey!" Said Bridgette. "Good job!"

* * *

Confessional:

Zoey: I really like my team! I get to do challenges with my awesome boyfriend, my best friend, _and _both Gwen and Bridgette, who are my favorite Total Drama contestants! Hearing Bridgette compliment one of my ideas is a dream come true!

* * *

In another studio the Shipping Sailors were also preparing for the challenge.

"Woo-Hoo!" Tyler exclaimed. "With Cody and Courtney on our team, reenacting a fan-fiction about Cody and Courtney will be a snap! Victory is in our reach!"

Courtney was reading the first chapter of 'Candy For Your Thoughts' and was oddly quiet while doing so. Justin noticed this, and asked her "Courtney? Are you OK?"

Courtney turned away from Justin and said "I'm fine…" trying to hide the tears that were running down her face.

* * *

Notes:

[1] A reference to the fact that both Duncan and Harold quit World Tour early on.

[2] This giant slot machine is the same one used during the Niagara Falls challenge of World Tour to pair up the boys and girls.

[3] A reference to the Total Drama Island episode 'Search and Do Not Destroy', where Heather faked tears to manipulate Trent.

* * *

So there's chapter two. This was a lot harder to write than I thought, since most of this chapter is exposition, and I didn't have much planned on what to write for it. I'm glad I got to finally type out Cody's confessional in this chapter though; I wrote that down in my notebook several months ago, back when I was first planning out this fic.

I was planning on also writing the first half of the challenge for this chapter, but I ended writing almost 3000 words! Luckily the next chapter will be much easier to write, since I have most of it planned out already. Please review, and be sure to leave constructive criticism.

And be sure to tune in next time, where there will be more laughs, much more drama, and the the first elimination shall occur!


	3. Episode One, Part 3

So it looks like my plan to complete the first three chapters of this fic by the end of the week just barley succeeded. First, I want to address my reviewers:

**ForteKham617: **No need to apologize for a 'late' review; like chapter one, you posted the first review for the last chapter. I'm glad that you think that this premise is unique. And to answer what is wrong with Courtney: read this chapter for a very comprehensive answer.

**zquest: **I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I'm glad you read the original fan-fic; it will make this chapter easier to understand. Interestingly enough, in my original plan for this story Sierra was a member of the Shipping Sailors, which meant that she and Cody were on the same team. However, for story reasons, I moved Sierra to the Fanon Fixers. But with that being said, every season of Total Drama features at least one team swap, so you just might get your wish. ;)

**NerdyBarista: **First off, I want to say that I'm so glad you reviewed both chapters. I love reading your reviews of other Total Drama fics, and was hoping you would look at this story. Anyway, it's even harder for me to separate my version of Viktoriya from ferguson's version, which is kind of weird since I created Viktoriya as an antagonist specifically for this story; but I love ferguson's interpretation of Viktoriya so much, even if she turned out way different then I intended! Pablo will indeed be sympathetic, but perhaps not as sympathetic as you think :O The moments you cited as 'great' just so happened to be my favorite moments from the first chapter

Incidentally, all those jokes that you called TDA bashing, were not so much making fun of season two (although it is by far the weakest season of Total Drama) but rather making fun of the fact that **nobody **likes Total Drama Action, to the point that even the creators barely acknowledge it. The various carvings of heads are game changers, but they aren't going to see use until **much **later in the story. I'm glad you thought the slot machine was a clever way to choose teams, since I mostly used it since I couldn't come up with a challenge to determine teams. Asking why Heather is one of Jerome's favorite contestants is an excellent question that will be answered in this chapter. And your predictions on who will win are….interesting.

Now on to the actual chapter!

Warning: This chapter is crazy long and features angsty drama, numerous fourth-wall breakings, and lots of hugging.

* * *

Episode 1, Part 3: Candy For Your Thoughts

After an hour of rehearsing, all three teams went to the theater to perform for the challenge. When they went into the theater, they found that the stage had been decorated to look like the cargo hold of the Total Drama Plane. Chef was there waiting for them.

"All right maggots, welcome to part one of the challenge. You will be performing for three judges" Chef explained. "Each judge will give you a score between 1 and 10. The first judge is myself. The second one is… Scott."

All of a sudden, Scott, who was still in the trauma chair, was wheeled onto the stage by a certain silent inventor. Scott's chair was modified, now sporting a TV screen.

"Wait a minute" Said Mike, "Why is Scott of all people a judge, when he can't even speak?"

"Well, Scott is a judge since his contract required him to be on this season of the show; but his pappy was not pleased at Chris, for putting Scott on a catapult with a mutated shark, and sued the show." Chef explained. "So since he can't be a contestant this season, he's gonna be a judge for some of the challenges. Also, while he still can't speak, Silent B here modified Scott's trauma chair to allow him to communicate via a TV screen."

"So, you hired B to help you with the show?" Asked Cameron.

"Yep" Confirmed Chef. "And the third judge will be doing his judging straight from prison via video chat, Chris Mclean."

Chef then opened a laptop, revealing a very different looking Chris Mclean. He had grown a beard, and his hair was incredibly messy. Every person in the room silently started at the strange looking host. Chris smirked and said "It's good to know that even without all my hair-gel and grooming products, I'm still as good-looking…"

Before Chris could finish his sentence, all of the contestants burst into laughter at Chris' ridiculous appearance. Chris rolled his eyes and muttered "I'm so glad I get to take a break from hosting this show and its annoying teens."

"All right maggots, enough laughing at not-so pretty boy!" Chef ordered the contestants. "It's time to start the challenge. And the first team to go will be the Fanon Fixers."

Then Helmet 798 got a minor case of writer's block and skipped ahead to the scene where the judges scored Harold's and Heather's performance.

"Well that was pretty good." Complimented Chef. "Scrawny boy did a shockingly good job acting like Cody, and Bossy Girl's tears were surprisingly convincing. I give them an eight."

The screen on Scott's trauma chair displayed an eight as well.

"Meh, it was decent, but they should have put more effort into making Harold looking like Cody; the same for Heather." Chris said honestly. "I give them a seven."

"The Fanon Fixers have earned a combined total of twenty-three points!" Chef declared. Every member of the Fanon Fixers cheered, and when Harold had stepped off the stage, Trent gave him a high-five.

"The Sue Crew, you're up!" Chef told the next team. Viktoriya, wearing the green pants and gray vest that Zoey gave her, went up on stage and started to pretend to cry. Shortly afterward, Cameron, dressed up like Cody, entered the scene.

"Ezekiel, there's no point in Hiding!" Viktoriya snapped, accurately reenacting the fic. "I know you're here, stop hiding."

Cameron stepped closer to Viktoriya, sweating up a storm. He opened up his mouth and 'said' "Uhhhh….I don't th-think….uhhh…that Zeke will ever…uh..ev-ever…" Cameron stopped speaking for a second, before whispering to Viktoriya, "What's my line again?"

"WHAT?!" Viktoriya shouted angrily. "YOU FORGOT YOUR LINES!? PATHETIC!"

* * *

Confessional:

Cameron: I've read about stage fright before, but I never thought I would experience it. But it kind of makes sense. I've never performed before a large group of people before. I just wish that Viktoriya was more understanding.

* * *

"Somebody get me a **real **actor up here!" Viktoriya demanded! "I will not fail a challenge because of someone elses' incompetence!" After hearing this, Cameron ran off the stage crying, which caused Mike and Zoey to glare at Viktoriya.

"Well, that sucked." Chef said flatly. "Zero points."

Scott also gave the performance zero points.

"I will give you guys credit for managing to recreate Cody's and Courtney's outfits." Said Chris. "But the performance was awful. Two points."

"The Sue Crew, not surprisingly, only earns a measly two points."

After hearing this, Viktoriya yelled "NOOO! This can't be happening!", feeling simultaneously angry and sad.

"Now let's see if the Shipping Sailors can take the lead." Said Chef, beckoning Cody and Courtney to come up on stage. Courtney stepped up on stage, and cried up a storm before Cody showed up.

"What are you doing here?" Courtney asked annoyingly at Cody, accurately reenacting the story.

"Looking for you, I guess." Cody responded. "Heather made me come down here."

"How did you find me?" Courtney asked, continuing to emulate dialogue from 'Candy For Your Thoughts.'

"I often come down here to hide from Sierra." Cody said. "Not to mention I heard you crying…."

"I was not crying!" Courtney snapped, "I just would rather spend time with the rats, than with those two backstabbers!" Courtney said, referring to Duncan and Gwen. "Why would I be crying?!"

"Uhh, because those two backstabbers were your boyfriend and friend, and they cheated on you behind your back?" Cody said, staying in character.

Courtney looked at Cody for a second before bursting into more tears and wailing louder than before. Cody stood there waiting for Courtney to say her next lines, but instead Courtney just continued sobbing. '_Oh crap!' _Cody thought to himself, _'This isn't acting, Courtney's cries are genuine! What should I do?!'_

Cody put his hand on Courtney's shoulder, and asked her "Are you all right Courtney?"

"How can I be all right?!" Courtney said between her sobs. "My best friend betrayed me, my boyfriend broke my heart, and then I fell for another man, who also broke my heart! And worse of all, everyone hates me!" Courtney then continued to weep loudly.

Cody sighed and told Courtney "Look Court, things are gonna be fine. I've had my heart broken too, but I survived. I know you can pull through. And if you ever need someone to talk to about your problems, I'll be there for you. You are not alone Courtney."

All of a sudden, Courtney pulled Cody into a hug, smiling, and told him, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Courtney then kissed Cody on the cheek, and said "You're so kind, thank you!" Courtney then let the last of her tears run down her cheeks before realizing she was still on stage.

Both Cody and Courtney looked at the silent audience, waiting for a response. All of a sudden, almost everyone in the audience said "Awww!" at the heartwarming moment (Viktoriya was too busy being mad at herself for losing the challenge for her team to pay attention).

"That was…**SO **heartwarming and beautiful!" Chef Hatchet said with tears in his eyes. "Who gives a crap that you didn't follow the story accurately? I give you ten points!" Chef then blew his nose on his apron.

The screen on Scott's trauma chair displayed a ten as well.

"Now **THAT's **what you call Total Drama!" Chris said with excitement. "Ten points!"

"With a perfect score of thirty points, the Shipping Sailors win the first half of the competition!" Chef announced.

"All right Cody!" Tyler said with excitement. "Great job!"

"Awww! Cody, that was soooo sweet!" Lindsay said.

"That was a bit too sappy for my tastes." Jo said honestly, "But good job with winning the challenge!"

"That acting was top-notch!" Justin said complimenting Cody and Courtney.

* * *

Confessionals:

Cody: (His face is bright red) So…. Courtney… She did a good job... (Cody uses his fingers to make quotation marks) ..."acting". Yeah….

*Static*

Courtney: Of course I was only acting! Why would I fall for Cody? Because he's super nice and would treat me better than Duncan or Alejandro did? (She smiles for a few seconds, before frowning.) Nope, not interested in him at all.

* * *

Chef looked at the camera and told the viewers at home, "What will the next challenge be? What kind of reward will the Shipping Sailors received for winning this half of the challenge? Find out after a break for lunch and for commercials." The screen fades to black.

The next scene appears at the Craft Services Tent, where the twenty-four contestants were grabbing a bite to eat before the next part of the challenge. DJ made some delicious roast beef sandwiches, with a hint of DJ's secret sauce.

Pablo was eating his sandwich rather quickly. "I've never eaten a sandwich before. It's sooooo good!" Pablo continued to wolf down the sandwich.

Mike chuckled and said, "Hey Pablo, you should eat a little slower. It will help you appreciate that sandwich, especially since you only get one."

Mike was proven wrong when DJ came to their table, and said "Actually, I heard that Pablo here doesn't usually get a lot to eat, so I made him another sandwich." DJ then gave Pablo another plate with another roast beef sandwich on it.

Pablo then gave DJ a huge grin and said "Thank you so much!"

But not everybody was feeling so great during the lunch break. Gwen was looking pretty sad, which did not go unnoticed by Bridgette. "Are you OK Gwen?" The surfer girl asked her friend.

"I'm fine…" Gwen said. "But between reading that fan-fiction and seeing Courtney crying on stage, I feel so guilty for what I did to her!" Gwen sighed before continuing. "It reminded me of how bad I felt when I first kissed Duncan. At first I felt super guilty, but after a while I stopped feeling bad about it. Should I still feel terrible for what I did over a year ago?"

Bridgette didn't know what to say, so instead she gave her friend a hug and told her "Things will be fine."

At another table, Jerome was praising Harold and Heather for their performance. "Seriously, I'm glad to be on this team. Especially with my two favorite competitors!"

"Heather is one of your favorite competitors?" Trent asked. "Why? I thought you hated villainous contestants."

"Well I didn't always like Heather." Jerome explained. "Back in season one, she MADE ME SO ANGRY THAT I WANTED TO SMASH MY TELEVISION TO BITS!"

Harold, Heather, and Trent were shocked by his sudden rage filled outburst. Jerome than calmed down and continued talking. "But in season three, Heather changed. She comforted Courtney when her heart was broken. She helped Sierra when she got seriously injured. But most of all, she took out Alejandro by giving him a taste of his own medicine! Seriously, that moment when you kicked Alejandro where it hurts and sent him down the volcano was the greatest moment in Total Drama history! Seriously Heather! You Rock!"

Heather smiled at Jerome's compliment.

* * *

Confessional:

Heather: It's nice to have a teammate who actually appreciates me for once. Especially if it's a cute guy like Jerome. (After a beat, Heather frowns) Did I just say that aloud?

* * *

Not all of the Fanon Fixers were getting along though. Leshawna was sitting next to Anne Maria, who was applying tons of hairspray to herself.

"Girl, you better stop polluting the air!" Leshawna told the Jersey Shore Reject. "Some of us are trying to eat!"

"And some of us are tryin' to do _important_ things," Anne Maria retorted. "Like lookin' fabulous."

"What would you know about importance?" Leshawna asked Anne Maria sarcastically. "If you're so important, why didn't you get a single line of dialogue in the first two chapters?"

After this statement, a small slap fight ensued between Leshawna and Anne Maria.

At yet another table, Tyler was enjoying his sandwich. "All right! Time to take sandwich eating to the extreme!" Tyler scarfed down his sandwich, which led to him accidently biting his tongue. "AGHH!"

"Silly Tyler!" Izzy told the klutzy jock. "You should never bite down on a plain tongue; you should season it first!" Izzy then put salt and pepper on her tongue before biting it. "Ouch! HaHaHa! That's a tasty tongue!"

Chef Hatchet entered the tent and announced "Finish up your lunches; it's time for the second-half of the 'Candy For Your Thoughts' challenge."

* * *

Chef led the contestants to a truck labeled: Total Drama World Tour. "One of the many great features of 'Candy For Your Thoughts' are all the original songs." Chef explained. "For the next part of the challenge, you will be performing one of the songs for me, Scott, and Chris. In this truck are all the instruments we used to make the music for World Tour. After getting some musical instruments, each team will have an hour to pick a song and practice it."

"All right!" Harold said, excited to show off his keyboard playing skills.

Chef continued to explain the challenge. "Since the Shipping Sailors won the first challenge, they get first pick of the instruments. The Fanon Fixers will get to pick some stuff next. And the Sue Crew will get whatever is left over."

After saying this, Chef allowed the Shipping Sailors to enter the back of the truck to grab instruments for the challenge.

"Hey, this keyboard is really high quality!" Cody said, admiring a Yamaha Keyboard. "Let's take it for the challenge."

"Good idea Cody!" Justin said, knowing firsthand Cody's keyboard playing skills.

Courtney picked up an acoustic guitar and played a few notes to test sound quality. "This is a solid guitar. I can play it for the challenge!"

Izzy ran over to a drum set yelling "Let me play the drums! Izzy loves banging on the drums!" She then started banging one of the cymbals over and over, causing all of her teammates to cover their ears.

"If we allow you to play the drums, will you stop doing that?!" Jo yelled over the racket Izzy was making.

"Sure thing!" Izzy said in a perky voice.

"All right Sailors, you're time is up!" Chef told the team. The Shipping Sailors left with the keyboard, acoustic guitar, and drum set. The Fanon Fixers entered the truck.

The Fanon Fixers didn't grab much (since Harold already had a keyboard and Trent had his guitar) but Harold did grab an extra keyboard, Jerome grabbed a tenor saxophone, and Heather grabbed a tambourine.

By the time the Sue Crew were allowed in the truck, most of the good instruments were taken.

"Oh great!" Said Pablo. "There's only a few instruments left!"

Viktoriya noticed a violin sitting in a corner and said "But there are enough for victory Pablo. I am a virtuoso violin player!"

Duncan noticed an electric guitar shaped like the continent of Australia. "And I can play this, although it is rather tacky looking."

Gwen noticed a snare drum. "I can play this drum for the challenge."

Pablo then noticed a pair of castanets on the ground. "I've seen these before; they can add a Latin flair to any song we play."

"A Latin flair, huh?" remarked Cameron. "Maybe we can perform Alejandro's song from the fic: 'One By One They All Will Fall.'"

"That's a good idea Cam!" Zoey said, complimenting her friend. "And Mike can play Alejandro!"

"Who me?" Mike asked, surprised. "Why?"

"Well you two look similar." Zoey said. "The both of you are tan, muscular, and handsome!"

Mike smiled at his girlfriend's compliment. "Well, when you say it like that, I'm in!"

"Wait!" Zoey said suddenly, "I remember seeing a red shirt in the wardrobe department that looked a lot like Alejandro's. Follow me!"

With that, the Sue Crew left the truck with a winning plan.

Meanwhile, the Shipping Sailors were trying to choose a song to perform.

"What if we did Alejandro's song, 'One By One They All Will Fall?'" Suggested Justin. "I do look a lot like Al and I'm a pretty good singer, so I could it."

"Not a bad idea Justin!" Jo told her teammate.

* * *

Confessional:

Justin: The last time I competed, I barely did any work, and I only got up to seventh place. If I want to win this competition, I'll have to pull my weight.

* * *

At the mention of Alejandro's name, Courtney's face fell. Cody noticed this and asked the C.I.T., "Hey Court, you all right?"

"I'm fine Cody." Courtney responded unconvincingly.

"Are you sure, you look pretty down…."

"I said I was fine Cody!" Courtney said, frustrated at the geek. She forced a smile on her face and picked up the acoustic guitar, playing some Spanish sounding riffs. "Will this work for the chord progression?"

"Yeah Courtney, that sounds great!" Justin said, complimenting Courtney.

As the Shipping Sailors worked on the music, the Sue Crew went to the wardrobe department, to look for that red shirt. Mike found it quickly, and put it on.

"Well, what do you think?" Mike asked his teammates. "Do I look like Al?"

"Kind of…" Duncan said. "But something seems missing."

"Oh wait!" Mike said suddenly. "Alejandro has the top of his shirt unbuttoned." Mike then unbuttoned the first three buttons of this red shirt, which caused his alternate personality Vito to take over.

Vito walked up to Viktoriya and said "Hey toots! If ya lookin' for a real man, then the Vito is ready to be found!"

Zoey looked really ticked off. But before Vito could do anything else, he slapped himself and said aloud in Mike's voice, "Back off Vito! This body belongs to me, and as long as I'm in control, the only girl I'm dating is Zoey!"

"OK, OK Mikey" Vito said. "Sheesh!" Mike then buttoned up his shirt, and took full control of his body.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: So Mike still has his multiple personality disorder. Interesting…

* * *

An Hour later, all three teams reported to the theater, where they would be performing the songs.

The first team to go was the Fanon Fixers, who decided to perform the song: 'Gotta Tell the Girl', which in the original fan-fic was performed by Owen, Noah, and Cody. So for the challenge, Owen, Noah, and Harold did the singing. Harold also played two keyboards; one sounding like a piano and the other sounding like the string section of an orchestra. Trent provided extra chording with his guitar, Heather kept the beat going with that tambourine, and Jerome provided a decent sounding saxophone solo. The three judges were impressed.

"That was impressive." Chef told the team. "It's a shame that the readers at home couldn't hear that song, because it was catchy. Scrawny boy did a good job with both his singing and his playing of two different keyboards. I give that performance a nine!"

Scott gave the performance a score of eight.

"That was a wicked sax solo bro!" Chris said, complimenting Jerome. "I too will give that performance a nine."

"The Fanon Fixers earn twenty-six points." Chef announced. "The next team to perform will be the Shipping Sailors."

Justin, Cody, Izzy, and Courtney entered the stage. Izzy provided a steady beat with the drums, Courtney provided Spanish-sounding guitar riffs, Cody provided extra chording with his keyboard, and Justin, now dressed up like Alejandro, started singing. The song started off sounding great, but as Courtney saw 'Alejandro' singing about his manipulative tactics, painful memories reappeared in Courtney's mind.

All of a sudden, Courtney burst into tears, and ran off the stage. Immediately, Cody stopped playing keyboard and followed Courtney off the stage. A few seconds later, Justin ran off the stage to find Courtney and Cody.

Everyone in the audience gasped at what happened. Jo face palmed in disappointment at her team. The three judges were about to give the performance a bad score.

But all of a sudden Tyler leaped on the stage! He quickly removed his head-band, messed with his hair to make it look like Alejandro's, and unzipped his red tracksuit, revealing a white T-shirt underneath. In a matter of seconds, Tyler managed to replicate Alejandro's appearance. Thinking on his feet, Tyler started to improvise a song:

"_I'm Alejandro, and I've been naughty_

_I'm evil enough to cause even the most haughty,_

_To break down and burst into tears,_

_I can fulfill every single one of your fears!_

_This was all planned, I'm not lying, oh no!_

_Now check out this super rad keyboard solo!"_

* * *

Confessional:

Tyler: So there I was, trying to win the challenge for my team. My lyrics managed to impress the judges. Now all I needed to do was play a decent keyboard solo. I searched my mind, trying as hard as possible to remember what I learned during my piano lessons….

* * *

Tyler went up to the keyboard that Cody was playing before he ran off to comfort Courtney. Tyler brought down his fingers to play a G-chord. However, he brought them down too hard, and ended up breaking the keyboard in half.

* * *

Confessional:

Tyler ….only to remember that the only thing I learned from my piano lessons was that my fingers were super strong.[1]

* * *

"You almost saved the performance boy," Chef told the jock. ", but not quite. Four points."

Scott gave the performance zero points.

"Those were some awesome lyrics Tyler." Chris said. "But between most of the performers abandoning the stage and that pitiful excuse of a keyboard solo, I can only give you five points."

"The Shipping Sailors earn a measly nine points." Said Chef. "Next!"

"Wait, wait!" Izzy said. "Izzy hasn't done her drum solo yet!"

Izzy started playing a drum solo, but something unexpected happened when she finished: her drum set blew up! This sent parts of the drum set flying. The bass drum ended up crashing into Tyler, and the snare drum and symbol ended up smashing Chef in the face.

"Ouch!" Chef yelled in pain. "On second thought, the Shipping Sailors only get five points**, because I've decided to change my score and give that performance zero points!"**

Jo ran up on the stage and asked Izzy "What on earth happened?!"

"I put gun powder in that drum set so I could end my performance with a bang!" Izzy explained. "HaHaHa!" [2]

"You put explosives in that drum set?!" Jo exclaimed in disbelief. "Who does that?!"

"You're right, Who does that!" Izzy told Jo.

Jo frowned at Izzy. "That's what I asked you Izzy! Who does that?"

"You just said the answer!" Izzy responded.

"What?!"

"The answer is: Who does that!"

"No Izzy!" Yelled Jo. "That's the question I'm asking you! WHO DOES THAT?!"

"Correct Jo!" Izzy said. "Who does that!"

"**AGHHH!**" Jo screamed in frustration.

* * *

While Jo was arguing with Izzy, Courtney was in the girl's trailer, crying her eyes out. She was sobbing so loud, she didn't hear Cody approaching her.

"Courtney," Cody said with concern, ", what's wrong?"

Courtney sniffled a bit before replying in a weak voice "Alejandro…"

"Eh, what?"

"Alejandro!" Courtney screamed. "I worked **so **hard for our relationship. I did everything I could do to please him, and how did he repay me?!"

* * *

Flashback:

_Courtney entered a hospital room, and found Alejandro lying down, still badly hurt from the volcano incident. Al looked up and saw the C.I.T. watching over him. "What are you doing here?" Alejandro asked Courtney._

"_I wanted to see how you were holding up, since that's what a good girlfriend…"_

_Courtney was cut off by a nasty laugh from Alejandro. "HeHeHeHe! You are so dense Courtney! Didn't you watch the show? I was just using you. I never cared about you, much less considered you my girlfriend!"_

_Tears started to swell in Courtney's eyes. "B-ut…B-but...But what about all the things I did to help you win?"_

"_What about them?" Alejandro responded nastily. "The fact you helped me win the competition doesn't change the fact that I don't have feelings for you. My heart belongs to Heather."_

End Flashback

* * *

"Alejandro broke my heart to pieces right after Duncan did! I've been trying to forget the way that Alejandro hurt me but…but…" Courtney burst into a new wave of tears.

Cody put his hand on Courtney's shoulder and tried to comfort her. "You don't have to feel alone Court. You aren't the only one who has been hurt by Al. Me, Bridgette, Leshawna, and DJ. We will be here for you, because we know how you feel."

"**No you don't!**" Yelled Courtney. "None of you got hurt while you were already broken! I am the only one here who was used and manipulated at the lowest point of their life!"

"You're wrong about that." Said another voice.

That voice belonged to Justin, who had just entered the room. Courtney frowned at Justin's statement, and asked him "What are you talking about?"

Justin responded, "When I was competing in season two, I started getting frequently injured. My dashing good-looks were being diminished, and I felt absolutely miserable. Without my good-looks, I couldn't strategize, so I started to take an interest in you Courtney, and your smarts. Eventually I started to fall in love with you, and I did whatever it took to make a woman as smart and beautiful as you happy. And how did you respond? By manipulating me, stealing immunity from me, pushing me off of a tower, and then getting me voted off."

Courtney let Justin's words sink in. Courtney slowly came to a realization that she did some wicked things starting in season two. "Geez Justin, I'm really sorry for hurting you like that, both physically and mentally."

Justin gave Courtney a small smile. "I forgive you Courtney. Besides, my life didn't end because you broke my heart. I moved on. I recovered both physically and mentally. I became great friends with Trent, Cody, and Harold, and we managed to find success as a pop band."

Justin then looked Courtney in the eyes and said "Don't let your broken heart ruin your life. Courtney, you're a beautiful, strong, and smart woman, and I _know_ you have what it takes to move on."

Courtney started to cry a few tears of joy as she pulled in Justin for a hug. "Thank you Justin."

Cody smiled at his friend successfully cheering Courtney up. He then looked at his smart phone to find out the time. "Oh man, it's quarter to six. It's almost time for dinner."

Justin asked Courtney "Do you want us to grab you dinner and bring it back here? I understand if you want to be alone for a while."

Courtney smiled at Justin and responded "No thanks. I need to see the others."

* * *

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Sue Crew pulled off an excellent performance for the three judges. The combination of Mike's convincing performance as Alejandro, Viktoriya's high quality tango-style violin playing, Duncan's rocking punk guitar riffs, Gwen's steady drum playing, and Pablo's authentic Latin rhythms from the castanets, led to all three judges giving them a perfect score.

"And with a perfect score of thirty, the Sue Crew win the first challenge!" Chef announced. All of the members of the Sue Crew cheered at their victory. Zoey jumped up on stage and hugged Mike. Duncan and Gwen shared a brief kiss. Cameron got on the stage and gave Pablo a high-five.

"And for winning the challenge," Chef continued, ", the Sue Crew wins the prize that every team who wins this season will get: a night away from the film lot! You can go into town and grab a bite to eat, go to the video arcade, watch a movie, or whatever teenagers do nowadays."

"All right!" Said Mike. "There's this new restaurant in town I've been meaning to take Zoey to."

Chef then turned to the remaining members of the Shipping Sailors. "And you are the losers of this here challenge. The Shipping Sailors will be sending one of their teammates home!"

At the confirmation of their failure, Lindsay, Tyler, Izzy, and Jo sighed. Pablo noticed how sad they looked and asked Chef "Can the Shipping Sailors come too?"

"What?" Asked Chef.

"Can the Shipping Sailors come with us into town?" Pablo said, repeating his question.

"Well…. OK." Chef told the Brazilian. "But only after their elimination ceremony."

"Wow Pedro! That is soooo nice!" Lindsay said with excitement. "I can go to the mall!"

"Thanks for allowing us to come with ya dude!" Tyler told Pablo.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: So everybody on the Shipping Sailors really appreciates me for allowing them to come with us into town. If I keep this up, I could become the most liked contestant on the show! Woo-hoo!

* * *

"All right ya'll." Chef Hatchet told the twenty-one contestants in the theater. "It's time for you to grab supper. And the Shipping Sailors, report back here in an hour to vote off one of your members."

Everybody left the theater to go to the craft services tent. DJ made everybody lasagna for dinner. However a few contestants (Mike, Zoey, Lindsay, and Tyler) decided not to eat the lasagna since they were planning to eat out later on.

Five minutes after everybody grabbed their meal, Courtney entered the craft services tent. When Bridgette saw her friend, she got up from her seat and hugged her. "Courtney! I was so worried about you! Are you OK?"

Courtney gave the surfer a smile. "I am now." Courtney pointed her finger at Cody and Justin and said, "Thanks to these two." After that, Courtney stood on top of one of the tables and said "Everybody listen up!" Everybody stopped talking among themselves and paid attention to the C.I.T.

Courtney took a deep breath, before speaking. "I have just realized that over the last several seasons of this show, I have done some despicable things. So now I feel a need to apologize to all of you. Lindsay, I'm sorry for all the times I insulted you and called you an idiot. Tyler, I should have never used you to make Duncan jealous, especially since you were in a relationship with Lindsay. And I'm also very sorry for throwing you off the plane, even though you were injured."

"Awwww, I forgive you Cathy!" Lindsay responded.

"Uhh, that's_ Courtn_ey babe." Tyler said, correcting his girlfriend. "Also, I forgive you too Court!"

Courtney then turned her attention to Cody. "And Cody, I'm sorry for how I treated you in the World Tour Finale. I should have never cheered for Alejandro when he threw you to those sharks."

Cody smiled and responded with a warm tone "I forgive you Courtney."

Courtney then turned to Gwen. "And Gwen, I owe you the biggest apology. I'm sorry for antagonizing you for dating Duncan. My heart was broken, but I never should have taken it out on you."

Gwen walked up to Courtney, and said "I'll accept your apology, if you accept mine."

"Huh?" Asked Courtney, slightly confused.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing." Gwen told the C.I.T. "I'm sorry that I kissed Duncan when you two were dating. I'm sorry that I never told you about it. And most of all, I'm sorry for not apologizing when I should've, which was back when I betrayed you. Can you forgive me?"

Courtney once again started shedding some tears of joy. "Of course!" Courtney then pulled Gwen in for a hug and asked "Can we be friends again?"

Gwen was shocked at the gesture, but replied "Of course we can!"

DJ had just emerged from the kitchen, wondering what the racket was. When the Jamaican teen saw Gwen and Courtney hugging and rekindling their friendship, he cried at the heartwarming moment.

* * *

Confessional:

Jo: What is up with all the hugging in this chapter? I thought we were here to compete, not share body heat. (After a beat, Jo frowns) Also what was up with my last line, 'share body heat'?! Seriously! Helmet 798 needs to learn better dialogue!

*Static*

Helmet 798: I wrote that line because it rhymed. Also, I don 't need your criticism Jo!

* * *

Courtney then went up to her ex-boyfriend. "And finally, Duncan. I am so sorry for all the times I've hurt you, and for trying to change who you were. Can you forgive me?"

Duncan rolled his eyes at Courtney, and in an uninterested voice said "Whatever."

Gwen looked ticked off at her boy-friend's indifference to Courtney's apology. She dragged him outside by the ear, saying "We need to talk. Privately."

Gwen brought Duncan to a secluded place and let go of his ear. "Owww!" Duncan said, "What's wrong with you, my ear hurts!"

"What's wrong with _me?_" Gwen said indignantly. "What's wrong with _you!?_ Courtney poured her heart out, sincerely apologized to you, and you don't even respond?!"

"What did you expect me to do?" Duncan snapped. "Forgive her? Just because she _said_ she was sorry. Courtney saying that she is sorry doesn't take back all the times she kicked me where it hurts, or all the times that she antagonized you from season three."

Gwen frowned at Duncan. "Why do you have problem forgiving people Duncan?"

"I dunno." Duncan replied. "I prefer to hold on to grudges, I guess."

Gwen sighed, and said "We need to talk about this issue Duncan. Let's do that tonight. We can talk about our relationship over coffee."

"Aww, do we have to?" Duncan asked in an annoyed voice. "I wanted to cuddle up with you and watch a horror movie tonight."

Gwen frowned. "Yes we have to!"

Duncan rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath "Bossy little…"

"What?!" Gwen asked.

"Nothing!" Duncan instantly replied.

* * *

The Shipping Sailors headed back to the theater for their first elimination ceremony. Chef was up on stage with a plate of marshmallows. "You all know the drill. If ya don't receive a marshmallow then you'll be receiving a ride to the Playa De Losers via the Lame-O-Sine.

The first marshmallow goes to… Cody.

…

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…

Justin gets the second marshmallow.

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Jo and Lindsay are safe too."

The three contestants left were Izzy, Courtney, and Tyler.

"All three of ya have a good reason to be eliminated." Chef said, prolonging this chapter longer than it needs to be. "Courtney, you abandoned your team. Tyler, you blew your attempt to save the challenge for your team. Izzy, you blew up your drum set and injured a teammate…."

...

...

...

...

After another long pause, Chef announced that "Tyler gets the penultimate marshmallow…" Courtney looked incredibly nervous, while Izzy looked incredibly silly.

"And the final marshmallow of the night goes to…

…

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Courtney!" The C.I.T. grinned and caught the final marshmallow.

Chef Hatchet addressed the crazy red-head. "Izzy, you are the first contestant to be eliminated this season." Under his breath, Chef added, "Good riddance."

Izzy smiled. "Well, Izzy may not have won the prize money…"

All of a sudden, Izzy grabbed Scott, still in his trauma chair and announced "..But at least I got this cool T.V. set!" Izzy then ran outside, with Scott in tow, and hopped in the Lame-o-sine.

Just as the Lame-o-sine drove off, Chef ran outside and yelled at the driver "Come back here! Crazy girl just kidnapped one of my judges!"

The Shipping Sailors looked shocked at this development for about five seconds. But then Tyler said "Hey Justin, Cody, and Courtney! Did you hear that our team is allowed to go down town tonight?"

"But we lost, right?" Cody asked.

"Yeah, but the Sue Crew won the right to go into the city tonight. And that Pablo kid invited our team to go out with him!" Tyler responded excitedly.

"Sounds like fun!" Said Cody. "I'm going to the arcade!"

Courtney then turned to Justin and said "Hey, do you want to go out to eat?"

Justin looked a little surprised and said. "Courtney, are you asking me out?"

"Well yeah!" Courtney said. "Even after apologizing for what I did to you in season two, I still feel guilty for utterly rejecting your feelings. The least I can do is take you out on a date."

Justin smiled and said "Well then I would love to go out with you!"

The Shipping Sailors left the theater and joined the Sue Crew in the 'winner's-sine' (Which was a long, clean, and white limousine; the polar opposite of the lame-o-sone) . The vehicle then took the teens out of the film lot and into the city.

* * *

Mike and Zoey went to an Italian restaurant to celebrate their team's victory. Bridgette, Lindsay, and a reluctant Tyler went to the mall for a shopping spree. Cameron, Cody, and Pablo went to an Arcade in the same mall to play some video games. Pablo was ecstatic since it was his first time playing video games. Justin and Courtney went to an Indian restaurant. Gwen and Duncan went to a coffee shop to talk about their relationship. Viktoriya and Jo both went to a gym to work out.

Outside of Duncan and Gwen, everybody who went had a great time, and thought that just maybe this season of Total Drama wouldn't be so bad. They were dead wrong.

* * *

Notes:

[1] For those of you who don't remember, Tyler's words here are a call back to the World Tour Episode "Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better", where Tyler claims that his fingers are so strong that during his first piano lesson he broke the piano.

[2] Izzy blowing up her drum set is a reference to Keith Moon, drummer for 'The Who', who did the same thing when he played the song "My Generation" live on TV. That is why Izzy kept on saying "[The] Who does that!"

Also, Izzy and Jo's argument is a bit I borrowed from the Animaniacs episode "Woodstock Slappy" (And _that _bit was an homage to the very famous "Who's On First" sketch by Abbot and Costello; so that's a reference within a reference.)

* * *

**Elimination Order: **Izzy

**Remaining Contestants:**

**The Fanon Fixers:** Anne Maria, Heather, Harold, Jerome, Leshawna, Noah, Owen, Sierra, Trent.

**The Sue Crew: **Bridgette, Cameron, Duncan, Gwen, Mike, Pablo, Viktoriya, Zoey.

**The Shipping Sailors: **Cody, Courtney, Jo, Justin, Lindsay, Tyler.

* * *

Wow, almost _seven_ thousand words. That was pretty much what I was expecting for this chapter, since I needed to get a lot of content packed in this chapter, since I don't want to divide an episode into a greater amount of parts than three.

I will admit that the challenges weren't as exciting as they could be. I was planning on recording all the songs from this chapter with my musical keyboard, so you could hear them, but since I wrote all of these chapters on vacation, I didn't have access to my keyboard. I probably will still record the songs, so you can better understand this fic.

But I'm still proud of this chapter. I'm glad to finally write out many of these moments, since several of them (such as Cody and Courtney's little "performance", Scott & Chris as judges, Courtney being miserable because of Alejandro, and Justin pointing out Courtney doing something similar to him) were among the earliest ideas I originally had for this story several months ago. In fact, I wrote the first draft of Justin's speech to Courtney way back in January or February in my notebook.

Also, I have to bring up the fact that NerdyBarista's prediction (that the Sue Crew would win and the Shipping Sailors would lose) was the opposite when applied to the first challenge, but it perfectly described the second part of the challenge, down to Courtney's emotions leading the Sailors to failure.

And if you're wondering, Courtney and Justin will not be a couple in this story, but since a major theme for this episode is Courtney's redemption, I thought she should have done a complete 180; from cruelly manipulating Justin feelings to genuinely caring about Justin's feelings.

And finally, if you haven't read "Candy For Your Thoughts" yet, you need to. It's an excellent story with big laughs, tons of drama, clever original songs, and **great **character development. It was the story that got me into Total Drama Fan-Fiction, which means if it didn't exist, neither would this story.

* * *

Brief Sneak Peak of Episode Two: On episode two of Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater, we play the theme song for the first time! And each team must compete in a challenge based off of Crack Pairings! Will the current couples survive? Will new friendships form? And will Helmet 798 go against his original plans and reveal the main antagonist early? Tune in next time to find out.


	4. Episode Two, Part 1

I got some _great_ reviews for my last chapter. Thanks! Now to respond:

**Sierraandcody62: **Thank you for calling me awesome! It's true that I have large chunks of this fic planned out, but there are also large chunks of it unplanned. For example: I planned most of the Shipping Sailors' part of _this_ episode many months ago; but I've barely planned anything for the two other teams. So there are also a number of moments in this story that I randomly came up with right on top of my head; such as Izzy suddenly kidnapping Scott. It's cool that you're rooting for Pablo!

**zquest: **That's a nice top ten! Luckily, seven of your favorites are still competing, plus B is going to make some more appearances in this story, though not as a contestant.

**NoahTheBookworm:** Oh. My. Goodness. _The _Noah is reviewing my story?! Nah just kidding. Anyway, there will not be a NoCo chapter in this story. One reason being that I don't like them as a couple. But the main reason is that I want this story to firmly stay K+ and family friendly which means there will be no Yaoi nor Yuri in this fic.

**Jason Kreuger Myers:** I'm glad this story is making you curious. And maybe there will be some Heather/Jerome in this story. Alejandro isn't going to appear much in this story, but it would be interesting to see what he thinks about it. You have a very good reason to be wary of Pablo, but it won't be revealed until another chapter or two. And yes, one of the points I was trying to make in the last chapter was that there was fault with all three members of the infamous love triangle of World Tour. And I'm glad that you and other people are warming up to Courtney in this story; I thought she was a decent character in _Island_ and the first half of _World Tour_, but when her worst traits are amplified, like in _Action_ or in the second half of _World Tour_, Courtney can be quite annoying.

**NerdyBarista: **Once again, I LOVE your reviews. I'm glad that Cameron's stage-fright surprised you, since that was what I was going for. And to answer your question about Cody and Courtney: Read this chapter to find out! You make a good point that Heather needs someone who is either her match or her opposite, and Jerome has the potential to be both! I shouldn't go into anymore details, lest I spoil the story I so carefully plotted. Anne Maria and Leshawna could possibly hold the Fanon Fixers back, but Anne Maria just by herself could possibly hold the team back with her laziness and apathy to the competition. You have indeed picked up on the fact that Pablo does have some hidden depths, which will be hinted at in this chapter and more fully explored in the next one.

Being a Christian, I love stories about redemption, which means throughout the story there will be a lot of characters redeeming themselves. Duncan going from being a 'Jerk with a heart' of Gold to straight up jerk is precisely why Duncan has become my least favorite character. His grudge against Courtney is also supposed to be an allusion to the way he tormented Harold throughout the entirety of Action just because of what Harold did to Courtney in Island. The guy has trouble forgiving people. Duncan will receive some positive character development in this story, but Duncan isn't the type of guy who will change overnight.

I'm so glad you found Jo's fourth-wall breaking hilarious! (I have been waiting for somebody to say that this story has funny moments.) That confessional is an example of a random joke that I totally came up with off the top of my head. You can probably tell form reading this story that my three favorite types of comedy are wacky & unexpected moments, deadpan sarcastic jokes, and meta/fourth-wall breaking moments. And yes, there will be _lots _of drama in this story (if you're writing a Total Drama fic, it's pretty much a requirement) hence the foreboding. I love how long you're reviews are, which is why my responses to them are also quite long.

Now, on to the main event:

Episode 2: Crack Pairings Galore, Part 1

* * *

"_Last time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater…"_ Chef narrates.

"_Twenty-Four teenagers arrived at a familiar film lot to compete for 750,000 dollars._

_Most of them have competed on the show before, but we also have three new contestants: Pablo, Viktoriya, and Jerome. _

_The contestants discovered some new features on the film lot, like a Museum were they can watch previous episodes of Total Drama, and a play theater where both challenges and elimination ceremonies will take place._

_After forming three teams: the Fanon Fixers, the Sue Crew, and the Shipping Sailors; we started our first challenge, based off of a CodyxCourtney fan-fic: 'Candy For Your Thoughts.' And surprise, surprise; it lead to Cody and Courtney developing a friendship._

_During the song performance challenge, the Sue Crew won with a Rocking Latin-inspired performance of Alejandro's song from the fic; and ironically, the Shipping Sailors lost during a performance of the same song, when bad memories of Alejandro led to Courtney abandoning the stage in tears. But don't feel too bad for her. Cody and Justin were able to calm Courtney down, and she later on apologized to various contestants that she mistreated. Didn't see that coming._

_Ultimately, the Shipping Sailors voted off Izzy, who blew up her drum set with gun-powder and injured her teammate Tyler. Unfortunately, she kidnapped one of the judges for this completion, Scott!_

_What will the challenge be this time? Who will be the next contestant sent packing? And will I manage to get Scott back? Find out now, on Total. Drama. Fan-Fiction Theater!"_

* * *

Theme Song:

_Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine._

(The camera zooms into the abandoned film lot. As the camera zooms past various film studios we see Courtney with her P.D.A. arguing with Chef, B pushing Scott's trauma chair around, DJ carrying a pot of soup, and an intern looking up fan-fiction on his laptop.)

_You Guys are on my mind._

(The camera then goes up the replica of the cliff from Camp Wawanakwa and down into a small pool.)

_You Asked me what I wanted to be..._

(Inside the pool we see Owen swimming. All of a sudden Fang appears and tries to sneak up on Owen, but Owen passes gas, which causes the mutant shark to retreat.)

_...And I think the answer is plain to see..._

(We pan up to the beach movie set and see Harold and Bridgette surfing. All of a sudden, Harold is knocked off of his surfboard by a mutated seagull.)

_I wanna be.._

(We pan to the left, where we see that Duncan has used the seagull-launching gun to shoot at Harold. Duncan turns around to see Gwen glaring at him. Gwen then storms off, and Duncan looks guilty and tries to follow her.)

_Famous._

(The Camera zooms past them, and we see Tyler, Jo, and Mike (as Svetlana) running a race. Tyler then trips, as a large metal door opens with a flash of bright light.)

_I wanna live close to the sun..._

(We see Anne Maria and Justin relaxing on beach chairs on the beach set. Anne Maria is trying to use hair spray, but is so distracted by Justin's beauty that she accidentally sprays Justin in the eye.)

_...Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!_

(The camera pans to the right, and we see Jerome and Viktoriya standing on top of two platforms, fighting each other with giant Q-tips. Viktoriya ends up smirking as she knocks Jerome's fedora off his head.)

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way..._

(The Camera pans down, and we see that Jerome's fedora has landed on Mike's head. This causes Manitoba Smith to appear, who then smirks as he puts his arm around Zoey, who is frowning.)

_I'll get there one day._

(Cameron then shows up, and quickly takes the fedora off Mike's head. Mike returns to normal, and Zoey smiles first at Mike and then at Cameron.)

_Cause I wanna be…._

(The scene transitions to the control room, where it is revealed that Pablo has been watching the scene between Mike, Zoey, and Cameron on the TV Screen. Pablo smiles at this.)

_Famous!_

(The TV screen then goes to static before showing a new scene: Trent and Cody, dressed up in their Drama Brothers clothes, playing the guitar and keyboard respectively. Watching them perform is Courtney [Who is smiling at Cody], Sierra [Who is jumping up and down with joy], and Leshawna [Who is "dancing" to the music being played.])

_Na Na Na Na Na Na Na __Na __Na __Na __Na __Na __Na __Na __Na __Na!_

(We pan to the left to see Lindsay hugging Noah, whom she has mistaken for Tyler. All of a sudden, Izzy swings by on a vine, and snatches Noah away. However, Izzy's grip weakens, and Noah is accidentally dropped on top of Bridgette.)

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

(The camera zooms past Noah and Bridgette, and we see Heather exit the lame-o-sine. After a few seconds, Heather then enters the winner's-sine. The winner's-sine drives off, revealing that it was blocking a view of the theater.)

_I wanna be, I wanna be,_

(We see Chef standing in front of the theater, pointing to the top of theater which says: "Now Playing: Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater.")

_I wanna be famous!_

(The camera then zooms into the theater, where we see that in the audience Jerome and Viktoriya are sitting with a single chair in between them. Jerome and Viktoriya are both glaring hatefully at each other.)

*_whistling*_

(All of a sudden Pablo appears in the chair between Jerome and Viktoriya and Pablo puts his arms around both of them. Jerome smiles at this, while Viktoriya rolls her eyes. The camera zooms out, and it's revealed that the entire cast is sitting in the audience.) **[1]**

* * *

The next day, the Fanon Fixers were the first to grab breakfast, since all the members of both the Sue Crew and the Shipping Sailors were sleeping in. DJ was making custom omelets for each contestant.

"OK buddy." DJ said handing a large plate to Owen. "Here is what you ordered. Hopefully I made it right. Truth is, I've never made a five-cheese omelet stuffed with sausage, ham, bacon, fried chicken, beef brisket, and Ranch dressing before."

Owen grabbed the gargantuan omelet, and ate it up in five and a half seconds. After burping, he told DJ. "Woo-hoo! That was a great Omelet! Can you make me another one like it?"

The Jamaican teen stood there with his jaw dropped. He spent almost ten minutes making that omelet, and Owen scarfed it down in five and a half seconds flat?! OK, it wasn't a surprise considering it was Owen, but still! DJ wasn't about to spend another ten minutes on another Omelet!

"Why don't I make you a triple bacon omelet instead Owen?" DJ offered Owen.

The big eater agreed to DJ's suggestion, and sat down next to Noah. After that, Owen sighed saying "It's not fair that the Shipping Sailors got to go down town last night with the Sue Crew."

Noah responded by asking "How exactly is that not fair?"

"Because several of our friends got to go out to eat at restaurants, and I didn't!" Owen said.

Noah gave the big eater a deadpan stare and said "Sure Owen, that's _totally _unfair; especially considering that last night you ate seven pounds of lasagna."

"Yeah!" Owen said, missing Noah's sarcastic tone. "DJ ran out of ingredients and…"

Owen's voice trailed off. He then realized that Noah was speaking sarcastically and then he started chuckling. "Oh, Noah! You little wise-cracker!"

* * *

Cameron woke up in the boy's trailer. After stretching a few minutes, he thinks aloud, saying "I wonder why Chef never bothered to show us to our trailers last episode?"

"Probably because it took Helmet 798 over 13,000 words, spread out between three different chapters, to describe that last episode." Cody said, who had just woken up. "I'm sure he had to streamline the story somehow."

Cameron smiled at Cody, who he was starting to become friends with. They had a great time at the arcade last night with Pablo.

"Wait a minute.." Said Cameron, at the memory of the Brazilian boy. "Where is Pablo?"

"He probably went out to grab some breakfast." Cody speculated. "I would too if I was that skinny."

* * *

Pablo tiredly entered the craft services tent. He had large bags under his eyes, which led to Jerome asking Pablo with concern, "Are you OK?"

Pablo smiled and responded by saying "I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all. My team returned to the film lot at 12:30 A.M. last night; and when I got back, instead of going to sleep, I went over to the museum to watch a few episodes of Total Drama Island. Didn't go back to the male's trailer for sleep until 4:05 A.M."

Trent looked concerned and said "Look Pablo, you shouldn't stay up that late. You need to get some rest, especially when you're competing on a show like this."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Pablo said. "I'll be sure to go to sleep early tonight."

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: I may be exhausted, but is was worth it to see all of those Total Drama Island episodes. As I watch each episode, I slowly am building a strategy to win the whole competition.

* * *

By 9 O'Clock, all the members of the Sue Crew and Shipping Sailors were eating breakfast. Bridgette was eating with Courtney. "So how was your date with Justin?" The surfer girl asked her friend.

Courtney smiled "It was nice. But Justin and I ultimately decided to just be friends. A good call too, since Justin isn't really my type."

"So, who _is _your type?" Bridgette asked Courtney.

Courtney was looking at Cody, who was at another table. "I don't know." The C.I.T told her friend. "Maybe a really nice adorkable brunette...with a gap between his teeth..." Courtney then looked shocked, and tried to take back her statement. "Wait! I..."

Bridgette gasped "Courtney, do you have a crush on Mike?"

Courtney then looked super relieved. "Uhhh... sure. Too bad he already has a girlfriend.." Courtney then chuckled a little awkwardly.

* * *

Confessional:

Courtney: That was _way _too close! I almost told Bridgette about my secret crush on Cody! (After a beat Courtney looks really nervous.) No, No, No! I didn't say that! I do **not **have a crush on Cody! (Courtney waits another second, before adding once again...) I don't!

* * *

Cody meanwhile was talking with Tyler. "So did you have a good time at the mall with Lindsay?"

"Kind of." Tyler responded. "I'm glad I got to spend time with my gal, but going to the mall with Lindsay isn't always fun. She's very forgetful and gets lost real easily."

Tyler then sighed."So when I went to the restroom for a few minutes last night, I came back to the store where I last saw Lindsay and she was gone! It took me a half an hour to find her; she was asking a manikin for directions."

Cody tried hard not to laugh. Duncan, however, was not as kind. "HaHaHa! Really? Wow, I knew your girlfriend wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but seriously! Does she even have a brain at all!"

Gwen then glared at Duncan. "What is it pasty?" Duncan asked his girlfriend

"Remember what we talked about last night?" Gwen asked her boyfriend.

Duncan responded by saying"What? Oh yeah!" The delinquent turned to Tyler and said "Sorry for insulting your girlfriend."

* * *

Confessional:

Gwen: Last night Duncan and I talked about our relationship. I told him if he didn't stop acting like a jerk, then I would break up with him. (Gwen sighed.) Sometimes I wish that Duncan showed off his kind side more often.

*Static*

Duncan: So me and Gwen talked about our relationship last night. She was all: 'Oh Duncan! Stop being a jerk, or else; yadda yadda yadda!' (Duncan sighed) If I wanted to be in a relationship with a girl who bosses me around, I would've stayed with Courtney!

* * *

Heather had just finished her breakfast. She felt like something was wrong. "Does something feel...off?" She wondered aloud.

Sierra responded by saying "Right now it's precisely 9:04 A.M. Chris would normally interrupt our breakfast and introduce challenges at exactly 8:45 A.M."

"I wonder why Chef is running late?" Asked Owen.

Immediately after Owen said that, Chef walked in the tent. "Sorry I'm late. Well I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I managed to get Scott back from Izzy."

"How is that _good _news?" Jerome quipped, since Scott was number one on his most hated Total Drama contestant list. **[2]** Mike and Zoey chuckled at Jerome's remark.

Chef ignored Jerome and continued to speak. "The bad news is that Izzy did something to the screen that B installed on the trauma chair, and now it won't stop playing the kid's show 'Blues Clues!'"

Sure enough, the screen on Scott's trauma chair was displaying an episode of the kid's show. "We are going to play Blues Clues! Cause that's the game we play!" The red light on Scott's chair kept on flashing, indicating that Scott was _not_ happy with the show displayed on his communication screen.

"B! Come over here!" Chef ordered his newest intern. A few seconds later, B, now wearing one of the red intern outfits, entered the tent. He pulled out a wrench, and tinkered with the trauma chair. All of a sudden the screen stopped playing Blues Clues. The screen instead displayed the words: 'thank you B.'

"All right, now that we got that weird scene out of the way..." Said Chef, lamp-shading the bizarre moment that just occurred."Let's get started on today's challenge. Follow me."

The twenty-three remaining contestants followed the chef turned host out of the tent, and saw the giant slot machine from last episode.

"All right maggots! Today's challenge is going to be based on crack pairings."

"Crack huh?" Duncan asked. "Are we really allowed to say that on air? I mean, Total Drama is kind of a kid's show."

* * *

Confessional:

Noah: A kid's show? (Noah rolls his eyes) Yeah right. If Total Drama is a kid's show, then I'm the least cynical person on the planet!

* * *

"Silly Duncan! Crack pairings have nothing to do with the type of crack your thinking of." Sierra told the delinquent. "A crack pairing refers to when people ship two characters who barely interact! In the Total Drama fandom, there are several popular crack pairings such as Trent & Courtney, Cody & Bridgette, and Gwen & Tyler!"

"What?" Tyler said. "People ship me and Gwen?! But I like being in a relationship with Lindsay!"

"Thank you for providing the contestants with an explanation." Chef told Sierra. "Now for this challenge, each team must write a fan-fic that ships two of their members. You will have until lunch to plan and write a story. After Lunch, you will have an hour to practice acting it out. And after that, you will be acting out your fan-fic for all three judges: Me, Scott, and Chris."

Chef then pointed at the giant slot machine. "And I will determine which team members you'll have to do a fan-fic on with this here slot machine. First up, the Shipping Sailors." Chef pulled the lever on the machine. A few seconds later, the slots displayed the faces of Jo and Tyler.

"What?" Jo said shocked. "We have to write a romantic story between me and klutzy McGee here?"

"EEEEE!" Sierra squeed at the prospect of a new crack pairing. "Jyler! You two would make a great couple! You both share a love of sports! Not to mention, Tyler looks kind of like Jo's first boyfriend Ian, but Tyler isn't nearly as mean as he is!"

"Wait! How do _you _know about my ex-boyfriend?" Jo said, feeling creeped out that Sierra somehow knew so much about her.

Before Sierra could answer, Chef interrupted by saying, "Now for the Fanon Fixers." Chef pulled the lever again, and this time the faces of Sierra and Trent.

* * *

Confessional:

Sierra: Me and Trent? Trierra? Cool! Trent is my second favorite Drama Brother, so it will be fun working with him for the challenge.

*Static*

Trent: Me and Sierra? I'm not quite sure what to think. On one hand, Sierra is a very nice girl. But she also creeps me out sometimes with the things she somehow knows about me and all the others.

* * *

Chef then pulled the lever one more time, and it paired up Bridgette and Cameron.

Cameron looked very shocked at this revelation. "What? I have to do an acting challenge again? Chef, can we choose another male for this challenge?"

"Let me think about that." Chef said. "No. Now all of ya'll better get started; you don't have all day."

With that, the three teams went their separate ways to start writing a story.

* * *

Notes:

**[1] **First of all, I would like to say that the idea for doing my own opening theme came from ferguson97's alternate version of Total Drama World Tour, which you should totally check out BTW, and not just because Viktoriya is in that story too.

Just like _Total Drama Revenge of the Island's _opening theme was a remake of _Total Drama Island's_, my opening for Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater is a loose remake of the opening for _Total Drama Action. _So I would recommend rewatching the season two theme-song to better understand mine.

Also, while my opening recreates season two's opening, with some bits borrowed from seasons one and four, my main inspiration for coming up with moments for my opening was World Tour's theme; which is my favorite opening due to the large amounts of clever foreshadowing throughout it. In the same way, I threw in tons of foreshadowing of in this opening.

**[2] **Jerome's list of his Top five most hated Total Drama Contestants:

1) Scott

2) Alejandro

3) Duncan

4) Jo

5) Sha-Lightning

* * *

Wow, I almost feel disappointed with this chapter, There are nearly 4,000 words, and yet I've barely started the challenge for this episode.

Nonetheless, I still liked a lot of moments here. I'm glad I finally got to write out the opening, which I planned out about a month ago. And I got to write a lot of character interaction, which is something I always want to see in a Total Drama fan-fic.

This chapter has lots of examples of the strange moments I randomly come up with off the top of my head like Owen's omelet, most of Courtney's conversation with Bridgette, and Izzy somehow turning Scott's trauma chair into a TV. Writing the next chapter will be interesting, since I have a very specific plan for what will happen with the Shipping Sailors, but I'm pretty much winging it for the two other teams; I _literally_ just came up with the pairings for the Sue Crew and Fanon Fixers off the top of my head.

* * *

Next time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction: The twenty-three remaining contestants get to exercise their creative muscles as they collaborate to write a story. But things get hairy when the challenge 'causes problems to arise for one of the couples. Can Cameron overcome his stage fright? Will Sierra continue to creep out Trent? And why on Earth didn't Jo get more screentime in this chapter, when she's supposed to be a major part of this episode? Find out the answer to these questions when the next chapter is uploaded.


	5. Episode Two, Part 2

Once again, I got _great _reviews. I'm glad that people really enjoyed my last chapter, since I was unsure if it was worthwhile. Now to respond:

**RedEyedWarrior: **I'm glad you think my story is awesome! You certainly hate Duncan; even more than I do. It's interesting that you want Duncan and Gwen to break up. I'm not a big fan of Gwuncan, so the thought has crossed my mind, but I'll only do it if it helps the story. And yes, Chris not being pretty is quite funny, but it makes sense; I doubt that Chris could get a large quanitity of hair gel in prison. I'm glad that you found Courtney and Gwen becoming friends again really poignant! I was hoping people would find that moment touching! It's worth noting that the scene you cited in the chapter four review (Duncan's crack about crack, Noah's response, and Sierra correction) was one of the earliest scenes I wrote for this story. And if you were a writer for Total Drama, I'd most likely have to stop watching the show! D: (Although I would still try to watch it, just to see crazy Trent! XD)

I'm glad that you think my story is amazing, and hopefully you'll enjoy this next chapter!

**ferguson97: **It's great that you think my story is really good! Jerome might be my favorite O.C. I've created, and that's not just because Jerome was my very first Total Drama O.C. It's interesting that you find him funny, since I wasn't trying to focus on Jerome's humorous traits in my previous chapters. In this chapter, I wanted to give Jerome some more funny moments, hopefully you'll enjoy them.

I've read your Gwody story. It's quite good, but if there is a story I'm thinking about using, it would be your version of "Total Drama World Tour." I like the idea of the old contestants acting like the new contestants in that story, and my Viktoriya reacting to your Viktoriya. Anyway, I'll try my best to keep my work as good as possible!

**sierraandcody625: **Yeah, this episode is definitely going to be interesting. I ended up not focusing as much on the crack pairings in this chapter, but I **love **the idea for Jyler, and I have no idea why. XD

I'm hoping to one day read a really good humorous Jyler fic, so hopefully my story will inspire somebody to write a story with this crack pairing.

**tdroti scott's Bff: **I'm glad you like reading all those fourth-wall jokes, because I love writing them! XD Interestingly enough, even though I love them to bits, I wasn't planning on making **any** fourth-wall jokes when I was first planning this story, since I thought that they would reduce the impact of the more dramatic moments. But then I read _Total Drama Returns _by The Cheesebub, which features some funny fourth-wall breaking moments, but also some **intense **drama. After that, I decided to write down any fourth-wall jokes that came into my head for this story.

Also, it's not a bad thing to like Jerome's most hated characters. I think that Alejandro and Scott are great villains and very entertaining characters, in spite of the fact that they are quite evil.

**zquest: **I'm glad you thought my last chapter was one of my best! I'm glad you found the Blues Clues bit hilarious! That's an example of one of my totally random improvised jokes that I get worried about, and causes me to think "Is this so ridiculous that people will find it funny, or is it just random and dumb?" Luckily it seems it was the former! I'm not exactly sure how Izzy did that, but the girl _does _have an IQ of 188.

Sierra's knowledge of the cast is quite scary, but it wasn't as scary as my original idea for Sierra and Jo, where she explains _how _she knew about Jo's boyfriend. I ultimately decided to leave it unknown how she knew that, since I wanted Sierra to be less of a stalker in this story. Also I haven't read a story with **any **of the crack pairings that I chose for this challenge, but that's where some of the humor comes in._  
_

Now onto the main event!

Episode 2: Crack Pairings Galore, Part 2

* * *

The Shipping Sailors were trying to come up with a plot for a Jo and Tyler story. Luckily, Chef gave each team a laptop built by B, which is probably something I should've mentioned last chapter.

Justin suggested "Maybe we could have Jo teaching Tyler how to be an athlete, and they bond over that."

Tyler scoffed and said "I don't need to be taught how to be an athlete! I've got the skills to pay the bills! To the extreme!" Immediately after saying this Tyler somehow tripped and fell flat on his face. He wasn't even walking, and he still somehow tripped!

"You're gonna need help paying those bills Captain Clumsy." Jo quipped at the clumsy jock. "Nice idea for a story Justin. Now whose gonna write it?"

Cody raised his hand. "I'll do it! Back in the day, I used to write Star Wars fan-fiction. Not to brag, but the Codemeister wrote some pretty ill stories."

Courtney giggled at Cody's nerdy-ness, and said "I'm sure you wrote some great stories Cody."

Cody blushed at Courtney's compliment. He then started typing up a story between Jo and Tyler.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Fanon Fixers were trying to figure out who should write the story.

"I should do it!" Sierra suggested. "I've written Total Drama Fan-Fiction before! One time I wrote a story where Cody and I…"

"Wait a minute Sierra!" Harold interrupted. "I think _I _should write the story. I went to Author Steve's Young Aspiring Writer's Camp!"

Jerome proposed a third option. "Why don't you write the story together? Sierra can write the first half, and Harold the second. Then you can revise each other's work!"

Sierra and Harold both agreed with Jerome's plan.

"All right, now that we have our authors, we can brain-storm." Trent said. "So what should the plot be?"

"I know!" Owen said. "Trent and Sierra should go out on a date at Kentucky Fried Chicken, where they eat crispy and delicious fried chicken, with those great herbs and spices. They can also get some yummy mac-and-cheese, some tasty root beer, and scrumptious, gooey, chocolate cake and eat it slowly…"

"I'd hate to interrupt you," Noah told his chubby buddy. ", but we're writing a story about Trent and Sierra, not a KFC commercial."

Leshawna contributed an idea. "How about a story where Sierra is miserable about Cody utterly rejecting her advances, and Trent takes her out on a pity date?"

Heather noticed that Anne Maria was not helping the team, since she was too busy brushing her hair. The raven haired girl then asked her "Um, Hello? Miss Jersey Shore reject? We are in the middle of a challenge. It would be nice if you tried to contribute to your team."

"As much as it pains me to agree with Heather..." Leshawna said. "...she's right. Girl! You can brush your hair later!"

Anne Maria scoffed and said "I can't brush dis fabulous hair lateh. My hair-doo needs constant maintenance to look fabulous. I wouldn't expect people with bad hair like you to undehstand that."

Heather and Leshawna both yelled "What did you say about my hair?!"

Trent stepped in to defuse the argument. "Calm down everyone. We don't have time to argue. Let's continue with the challenge. Leshawna, your idea sounded pretty good."

Sierra said "Leshawna's idea does have some potential. Let me see what I can do with it." Sierra started typing on the laptop her team received.

* * *

The Sue Crew was also coming up with ideas. Mike contributed by saying "Maybe we can do a story where Cameron is trying to go surfing for the first time. Bridgette could teach him how, and they would bond over that."

"I like that idea." Bridgette said. "It would be fun to act out."

Cameron was looking very nervous. Pablo took notice and asked the bubble boy "What's wrong buddy?"

Cameron responded "You should know! Don't you remember my dismal performance yesterday? I'm not sure if I can overcome my stage-fright."

Pablo sighed. The Brazilian orphan was worried that his team might lose the challenge.

Gwen offered to be the writer for the story. Everyone on the Sue Crew agreed, so the goth girl started writing a cute little one-shot between Cameron and Bridgette.

* * *

Cody finished writing his first draft of the Jyler story. He printed out a copy for his team. "Well guys, what do ya think?"

Courtney smiled "Wow Cody, this is _really _well written!"

Tyler took a look at the story that Cody wrote and frowned. "I'm not sure if I like some of this dialogue. Like 'Jo, you would be a much better girlfriend for me then Lindsay.'"

Lindsay gasped and looked heartbroken. "Taylor?! Are you breaking up with me?"

Tyler quickly responded "Of course not Lindsay!"

"Then why did you call Jo a better girlfriend then me?" Lindsay asked.

"Lindsay!" Courtney yelled in frustration. "That was only dialogue in a story! Don't you realize that you dumb..." Courtney trailed off. She frowned and quickly said "I'm _so_ sorry Lindsay. I'm still working on controlling my temper. Anyway, this challenge is all about acting. Tyler and Jo will only be _pretending _to like each other. Understand?"

Lindsay stood there silent, as if she was processing what Courtney had just said. "No, I don't understand." was Lindsay's response.

Jo face palmed.

* * *

Confessional

Jo: For the love of crap! Lindsay is such an idiot! And she isn't even a _useful _idiot like Lightning. She's just dead weight on our team!

*Static*

Tyler: I don't get it, Lindsay is somehow getting less smart everyday! Don't get me wrong, I love her a lot, but her lack of smarts is putting a strain on our relationship!

* * *

Sierra and Harold had just finished writing the Trierra story. They printed it out for their team to read.

The story took place in between seasons three and four. At the Playa De Losers, Sierra was feeling absolutely miserable and Cody felt really guilty that he just didn't have the same feelings for his best friend. Cody decides to set up Sierra with a date with his band mate Trent. The guitarist is reluctant to the date at first, but when they go out, Trent learns that he and Sierra share common interests. The story ended with them deciding to enter a relationship.

"Wow!" Jerome said positively. "Both of ya did a great job writing! I could see this happening in real life."

Heather smiled "Yeah, the both of you did good."

Trent read through the story. Trent was surprised that Sierra was able to replicate his character so well, perfectly capturing the way he talked and thought. The guitarist wasn't sure if he was impressed or creeped out by this.

All of a sudden, Chef's voice announced over a P.A. system "All right maggots! Report to the craft services tent for lunch!"

* * *

For lunch DJ cooked up homemade chicken fingers based off his mama's recipe. Most of the contestants loved their lunch, but Jerome looked surprisingly down while eating.

"Hey Jerome." Harold, who was sitting next to Jerome, said. "What's wrong? Do you hate chicken fingers?"

"No I don't Harold." Jerome told Harold. "I really like chicken fingers. But I hate eating them without BBQ sauce."**[1]**

"Without BBQ sauce?" Asked Leshawna. "That's why you look so sad? That doesn't sound so bad to me."

Jerome frowned "How can you even say that?! BBQ sauce is the greatest condiment known to man! You know what they say: 'BBQ sauce is the variety of life!"

"Actually, the saying is '_Spice _is the variety of life.'" Harold said, correcting Jerome.

Jerome responded "While I will admit there are a decent variety of spices, the diverse amount of incredible tasting BBQ sauces are mind-boggling! There are not two types of BBQ that taste exactly the same, and each and every one tastes great on almost any type of food!"

Anne Maria, who was _still _brushing her hair, rolled her eyes and said "Wow, obsessed much?"

Jerome frowned "A better word would be a gourmand of BBQ sauce. Also, you're one to talk about obsession! It's been three hours, and you're _still _brushing your hair!"

Anne Maria rudely responded "It's not an obsession; You just don't understand the importance of beauty. Not shocking considering how ugly you are-"

**"Jerome is _NOT__ UGLY!"_** Heather suddenly shouted at Anne Maria. All of the Fanon Fixers gave the girl with the gold tooth a strange look. Heather blushed in embarrassment.

* * *

Confessional:

Harold: Does Heather have a thing for Jerome? (The nerd sighs.)

* * *

Meanwhile, Lindsay was eating with Bridgette and Pablo. Pablo noticed that Lindsay looked kind of depressed. The orphan asked her "Hey Lindsay, is something the matter?"

Lindsay sighed and responded "I'm confused. Timothy keeps on talking about a new relationship with Jo, but he's always insisting that he's just 'reading the fan-fiction's script.' What does that mean? Does Timmy want to break up with me?"

Bridgette realized what was going on, and said "Oh Lindsay. Tyler doesn't want to break up with you! He's just talking about being with Jo for today's challenge, in which people have to _pretend_ to like people. For exampel, _I_ have to say that I like Cameron for this challenge, but that doesn't mean I'm breaking up with Geoff! Do you understand Lindsay?"

"Uhhhhh... No." The dumb blonde responded. Lindsay then got up from her table, since she had to go to the ladies' room.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sierra was at another table, talking with her best friend. "So Cody, how are things with Gwen?"

"Things are fine. We sometimes get a chance to talk, and I'm happy just being friends with her."

"Really Cody? You no longer have a crush on Gwen?" Sierra asked, slightly surprised. She then noticed that Cody was staring at someone. She smiled and said "Do you have a crush on someone else now?"

Cody stopped staring at a certain C.I.T. and said "Maybe..."

Chef entered the the tent. "All right, Lunch is over. Time to go back to your challenge."

The Sue Crew and the Fanon Fixers left the tent. Most of the Shipping Sailors started to leave, but Tyler said "Wait a minute! Lindsay is still going to the rest room! Shouldn't we wait here for her Chef?"_  
_

"Nope." Chef said flatly. "You need to get started on your challenge now!"

Jo told Tyler "This is probably for the best. She was only holding us back!"

Tyler glared at Jo "Don't you ever insult my girlfriend!"

"I said **it's time for you to go to your challenge!**" Chef yelled at the Shipping Sailors, who quickly ran out of the tent.

* * *

A few minutes later Lindsay came back to the tent, only to find it totally empty. She gasped and said aloud  
"Where did everybody go!?"

All of a sudden, Pablo walked into the tent and answered Lindsay "Chef forced everybody to stop eating lunch and continue working on the challenge."

"Thanks for the answer Pedro." Lindsay said, once again getting the boy's name wrong. "But this is bad! I don't know where my team went, and I'm not good with directions! What will I do?"

Pablo smiled "I can help you find your team Lindsay."

"Really? Thank you so much!" Lindsay told the Brazilian.

"It's no problem!" Pablo said with a smile, as he led Lindsay out of the tent.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: I know what you viewers at home are thinking: 'Pablo, what about the challenge?' Well, my team is pretty strong, so I can trust them to do the challenge while I "help" Lindsay.

* * *

Bridgette and Cameron were practicing their scene, in which the surfer girl was teaching Cameron how to use a surfboard. "So you lay down on the surfboard and paddle with your hands." Bridgette said, reading from the script that Gwen had written.

Cameron looked at his copy of the script and said rather nervously "Th-Thank you B-Bridgette... You are a gr-gr-great... teach-teach-teacher..."

Duncan sighed. "Wow, you're not even on stage and you have stage fright! How is that possible?"

"I'm sorry guys." Cameron said, apologizing to his teammates. "Ever since I bombed the acting challenge in the last episode, I'm worried that it will happen again."

Viktoriya frowned at the bubble boy. "For crying out loud Cameron. You aren't a _loser, _so stop acting like one!"

Bridgette frowned at the Russian and said "Listen up Vikky! You better stop insulting...Wait! Did you say Cameron _wasn't _a loser?"

"Duh." Viktoriya said. "Cameron is no loser. Last season he won the most challenges, and more importantly he won the entire season!" Viktoriya then turned to the bubble boy. "You are a winner Cameron, so **start acting like it! **You're giving other winners a bad name!"

Cameron smiled at the rude, yet somewhat encouraging, statement. "All right then, let's get acting!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jo and Tyler were also getting ready for the challenge.

"All right Tyler!" Jo said, reading a script. "You need someone to whip you into shape, and I can be that person!"

"OK." Tyler said in an unenthusiastic tone. "Thank you so much for helping me Jo. You are swell." Tyler then sighed.

Cody said "Tyler, you need to work on your acting. Your heart isn't in this role."

"I'm sorry guys." Tyler told his teammates. "I just feel really bad about leaving Lindsay behind. I'm worried about her."

"Is that all?" Jo asked. "Oh please! Your brain-dead girlfriend is going to be fine. Now get back to acting Senor klutz!"

Tyler frowned "Stop insulting me, and _especially _my gal Jo!"

* * *

Pablo and Lindsay were wandering around the film lot, looking for the Shipping Sailors.

"I have a pretty good feeling that we will find your team around the corner!" Pablo said happily to Lindsay.

Lindsay and Pablo went around to corner, only to find the Western film set. Pablo sighed. "I'm sorry Lindsay. I tried my best, but I don't really know my way around the film lot."

"Don't worry Pedro!" Lindsay said "I understand how you feel; I also have trouble navigating the film lot."

Pablo smiled at Lindsay comment. Then all of a sudden Pablo said "Hey! Look at that clock Lindsay! It's almost two O' clock. Do you know what that means?"

"No I don't."

"It means that the final part of the challenge is about to begin! And that means that both of our teams will be at the theater! And I know where that is! Follow me!" _  
_

Lindsay followed Pablo, not suspicious of the fact that he suddenly knew exactly where to go.

* * *

All of the contestants, minus Pablo and Lindsay, were at the theater, ready to perform for Chef, Scott, and Chris. The Fanon Fixers were up first. Sierra and Trent both did a great job acting out the script penned by Sierra and Harold.

"So nine is also _your_ favorite number?" Trent said, reenacting the story. "I didn't know that about you Sierra."

"Can I tell you a secret Trent?" Sierra said for the challenge. "You are my favorite Drama brother!"

"Really? I would have thought Cody was your favorite member of the band."

"Cody may be my all-time favorite _contestant, _but when it comes to your band, I think you are a way better singer, musician, and songwriter."

Trent smiled. "Maybe we can go out again sometime!"

Sierra gasped with joy. "That sounds like fun Trent!"

After that, Sierra turned to the judges and said "The End."

"That was pretty good." Said Chef. "You both seemed to have great chemistry, which attests to your impressive acting skills. Plus that story was well written too. I give the Fanon Fixer's Trierra story a nine!"

Scott gave the performance an eight.

"For a second there, I thought the scene up there was real." Said an impressed Chris, still communicating through video chat. "Great acting! Nine points from me."

"The Fanon Fixers earn an impressive 26 points!" Chef announced. The Fanon Fixers shouted with joy because of their great score. Noah gave Leshawna a high-five for coming up with the story idea, Jerome fist-bumped Harold for co-writing the script, and Trent shook hands with Sierra, praising her for her great writing and acting abilities.

* * *

Chef then announced the next team by saying "Next up, the Shipping Sailors."

Tyler and Jo went up on stage and for awhile, they did an OK job acting the script Cody wrote out.

Jo smiled "Wow Tyler, you've really developed into an excellent athlete!"

Tyler responded with a line that Cody wrote. "And you've developed into an excellent girlfriend Jo! I'm so glad I don't have to put up with someone who doesn't remember my name!"

**"WHAT?!"** Yelled Lindsay, who had _just_ arrived in the theater and thought the scene that was happening on stage was genuine. She ran up on stage and asked Tyler "Tommy, how could you?!"

"Wait, wait, wait! Lindsay I can explain!" Tyler said in desperation.

"Don't bother!" Lindsay said with tears in her eyes. "It's obvious that you don't want to date me anymore, so fine! We're through!"

"I **_do _**want to date you!" Tyler insisted. "Jo means nothing to me, you are the only girl for me."

"We ask you to act out a Jyler fic, and then have Tyler choose Lindsay over Jo?!" Chef asked, thinking that what had just happened was part of the story. "You guys failed to understand this challenge, so you deserve a failing score: zero!"

Scott and Chris also gave that performance a zero. "Yep, you guys got no points. Pretty much guarantees that you lose the challenge." Chef told the Shipping Sailors. But at this point, the Sailors were focusing more on comforting a crying Lindsay and trying to explain what had happened wasn't real. Their efforts were in vain, and Lindsay continued to bawl.

During all this commotion Pablo sat down with his teammates. Duncan noticed this and said "There you are! Where did you go Pablo, our team was wondering where you were!"

"I noticed that Lindsay got separated from her team." Pablo told the delinquent. "So I tried my best to help her find her team."

"So _that's_ why Lindsay interrupted her team's performance!" Realized Duncan. "It's a shame that you and Lindsay showed up at the wrong time."

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: (He chuckles) More like showing up at _exactly _the right time! My plan worked out perfectly! Separate that brainless blonde from her teammates who could explain the situation to her, and then make sure that she arrives at the worst possible time. Then I sit back, let her stupidity cause her to jump to conclusions, and she ruins the challenge for the Shipping Sailors! Looks like the Sue Crew won't be losing tonight! (He pauses and after a beat, Pablo addresses what the viewers are thinking.) Yeah, I'm a schemer, but it's not like anybody here will find out! Look at me! I'm a pitiful poor boy with puppy dog eyes! I'm too pathetic and adorable to be mean, much less a _threat_.

* * *

The Sue Crew did an average job on the challenge. Bridgette did an excellent job acting, but Cameron, while improved from his last performance, was still not the most convincing actor. Chef gave them six points, Scott gave them four points, and Chris gave them seven points.

"OK Sue Crew, you get a combined total of seventeen points." Chef said. "A slightly mediocre score, but you're still safe from elimination, thanks to the Shipping Sailors bombing their performance." Pablo smirked mischievously at Chef's statement.

"And the winners of today's challenge are the Fanon Fixers! Enjoy your night on the town!"

Every member of the Fanon Fixers cheered for their victory. Jerome walked up to Heather and said "Hey, do you want to go with me and Harold to a restaurant to celebrate?"

Heather wore a huge smile as she responded "Yes!"

* * *

Eight of the nine members of the Fanon Fixers went into the winner's-sine for a night on the town. Harold, Heather, and Jerome went out to a BBQ restaurant to grab some grub. And in spite of Harold spending most of the night sharing numerous random facts about the history of BBQ sauce, Heather still had a great time. After all, she was practically on a date with Jerome.

Owen went to an "All-You-Can-Eat Buffet", and eventually got kicked out for eating everything they had. Leshawna went out to the club to dance, but she quickly got booted out from the club, because her dance moves are _supposedly_ that terrible. Noah went to the library to read. Trent went to a coffee shop that had an open-mic night, and ended up performing. Anne Maria went to a beauty salon.

Sierra decided not to go into the city with the rest of her team, instead celebrating by watching a marathon of _Total Drama World Tour _at the Total Drama museum on the film lot. Pablo joined her, using this as an opportunity to study Alejandro's tactics.

* * *

The Shipping Sailors were at their second elimination ceremony in a row. Chef showed up on stage with the marshmallows. "OK ya'll let's get this over with. Cody, Courtney, Justin, and Tyler all get marshmallows."

Every contestant, sans Lindsay and Jo, received their marshmallows. "And the final marshmallow of the night goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Will someone get rid of this stack of periods?! No need to build suspense, the readers all know that Lindsay is the one who is getting voted off!"

Jo smirked as she caught the final marshmallow. Lindsay started to leave, but Tyler tried to talk to her "I'm sorry Linds. I didn't vote for ya! I voted for Jo!"

"Why would you vote for your _new _girlfriend?" Lindsay sneered at Tyler.

"I keep trying to tell you! We are not dating! Everything you saw was just pretend for today's challenge!"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. You can't trick me with your lies Bartholomew; I'm not an idiot!"

Tyler got really mad at Lindsay completely failing to get his name right and snapped "Not an idiot? _Not an Idiot?! _**Yes you are! **First off, my name isn't Tyson, Taylor, Timothy, Tommy, or **_Bartholomew! _**It's Tyler! It's a two syllable name that should be easy to remember! But apparently it's tough, considering that fact that even after we dated on Total Drama Island, _you forgot that I existed for an **entire year!**! **You are the BIGGEST idiot I have ever** **met!"**_**  
**

Everybody was shocked at Tyler's outburst, but none more than Lindsay, who started shedding tears again. Tyler calmed down a bit and realized that he went way too far! "Lindsay I'm sorr-"

Tyler's apology was cut off by a slap to his face, delivered by Lindsay. She then told Tyler "Well, if you hate me so much, it's a good thing we are breaking up! Goodbye Tyler. I hope that I never see you again!"

Lindsay then left the theater crying. Tyler then turned to his teammates, and saw Cody, Courtney, and Justin glaring at him. "Look guys.."

"Not cool Tyler!" Cody said. "You shouldn't have hurt Lindsay's feelings like that!"

Courtney agreed and added "Even at my worst, I was **never **_that _cruel to Lindsay!"

"Look guys, I'm sorry!" Tyler tried to convince them, but Cody, Courtney, and Justin ignored the clumsy jock, and headed out of the theater.

As Lindsay entered the Lame-o-sine, Pablo was hiding behind a bush, watching her exit the show for good. The Brazilian was snickering to himself.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: Do I feel bad that Lindsay got eliminated? (Pablo then delivers a nasty laugh) Are you kidding?! She doesn't need the prize money! None of these spoiled teens do. They already have plenty, and they don't even realize it! But I have spent my entire life in the slums, struggling everyday just to _survive_. I _need _that money more than anybody else, thus I will do _anything _to win it.

* * *

Author Note:

**[1] **The inspiration for Jerome's BBQ sauce obsession came from The Cheesebub's fan-fic: _Total Drama Returns, _in which Geoff has a hilarious obsession with breakfast cereals, which was partially inspired by the author's love of cereal. In the same way, I also _love_ BBQ sauce, and putting it on everything from sandwiches to tacos. Everything that Jerome said about BBQ sauce in this chapter is exactly what I think about it.

* * *

**Elimination Order: **Izzy, Lindsay.

**Remaining Contestants:**

**The Fanon Fixers: **Anne Maria, Heather, Harold, Jerome, Leshawna, Noah, Owen, Sierra, Trent.

**The Sue Crew: **Bridgette, Cameron, Duncan, Gwen, Mike, Pablo, Viktoriya, Zoey.

**The Shipping Sailors: **Cody, Courtney, Jo, Justin, Tyler.

* * *

So that's the end of episode two! A real downer ending huh?

That's right readers! Pablo is actually the main antagonist of this story! A shocker right! Writing Pablo's reveal was one of the most difficult things to write for this story. On one hand, I wanted to introduce Pablo like he was last person on the earth who would be a villain. But if I wrote Pablo as a goody-goody and then all of a sudden revealed him to be evil, then it would feel like a random plot twist that I pulled out of my hind-quarters. So I tried to put in some subtle foreshadowing that there was more to Pablo than meets the eye. While a few of my readers have been mildly suspicious of Pablo, I'm still hoping that this plot-twist will surprise you. Also, what do you think of Pablo as a villain? Let me know in your review!

Also, The way I broke up Lindsay and Tyler almost makes me feel like a hypocrite, since one of my least favorite parts of Total Drama is the way they break up couples just because the executives think that stable relationships are a terrible thing to show kids. Nonetheless, I came up with almost everything that happened to the Shipping Sailors (The Jyler challenge, Lindsay mistaking Jo and Tyler for a real couple, Lindsay getting voted off, Tyler snapping at Lindsay, and them breaking up) _really_ early on when I was planning this story. And one of the reasons I did it is that one thing I want the characters in this story to learn is that couples aren't always going to get along; but getting in one argument is not a valid reason to end a relationship. As long as humans live under the sun, they will not be perfect, so you should learn to be patient and forgiving with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Also, I'm not trying to make Tyler a big jerk in this story; but I wanted to explore what it would be like to be with a girlfriend who just couldn't remember you. I would imagine it would be really frustrating. But Tyler isn't going to become a jerk. On the contrary, he's going to work hard to set things right.

Woo! That was yet another long chapter! I didn't focus as much on the Crack-Pairing challenge, because I felt that the character interactions and plot developments were more important, hence their greater focus. Luckily, in the next episode, the challenge will receive much greater focus.

And before I sign off, I have one more thing to say; Trying to write in Anne Maria's New Jersey accent is almost impossible.

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: The drama keeps on coming! The strain on the Gwuncan relationship increases when Duncan starts to take an interest in one of his female teammates! Meanwhile, Pablo starts to target the Fanon Fixers, and Tyler makes an unlikely friend when all the others are still mad at him! And to top it all off, we're taking a page out of numerous fan-fics and bringing back the paintball challenge! Tune in next time for more humor, drama, and romance!


	6. Episode Three, Part 1

Once again, I got excellent reviews for the last chapter! Seriously, you guys rock!

**NerdyBarista: **First of all, you seem to be the only person who acknowledged my theme song opening! You noticed several moments of foreshadowing, most notably Pablo's scheming; however there are also some other moments of foreshadowing that you missed, some of which aren't going to appear until _much _later in the story.

It's actually pretty easy to write for Owen, since I do love food. I just exaggerate that a bit, and presto! An Owen scene! XD Cameron and Cody's friendship is an example of a quick random idea I threw in there, but it works! I do like Bridgette and Courtney's friendship (as well as Bridgette and Gwen's friendship and the newly rekindled Gwen and Courtney friendship) so you'll see plenty of that in this story. You've indeed picked up on how Gwen's behavior is becoming somewhat similar to Courtney in her relationship with Duncan; that was a deliberate decision on my part, and it's going to continue. I'm glad you loved the Blues Clues joke, and I only picked up on the irony of Scott having to rely on B as I was typing it. B is indeed a pretty nice guy; I guess.. (He's not exactly the liveliest personality)

JoLer might be a better couple name than JyLer, but I'm not sure. Also, Anne Maria was a member of the Mutant Maggots, not the Toxic Rats. Just felt like I had to point that out. Lindsay becoming more of an idiot really bugged me, especially since I liked Lindsay's character arc in _Total Drama Action _(The only other characters I can praise in season two are Harold, DJ, and perhaps Heather) since she proved that she _wasn't _a complete moron, and could have smart moments, and she even learned how to be a decent leader. Of course, most of this was thrown out the window for _World Tour _(Although there were shades of Lindsay still being a good leader when she was on Team Victory).

Courtney is indeed changing for the better, and by the end of this episode (i.e. next chapter) she will continue to develop into a better person. Sierra is indeed happy with being friends with Cody, and I'm not sure if Sierra will find a boyfriend in this story. I wasn't planning on it at first, but she might...

Viktoriya does pay attention to the contestants; she's in the competition to win, and she needs to know who is a threat to her victory. It's true that Lindsay has been tricked by every major antagonist (although ironically she was one of the only contestants whose elimination was not caused in anyway by Alejandro). It's true that Tyler's rant had a good point, but Tyler could have expressed it _much _less harshly; particularly if he brought up these issues earlier rather than bottling them up.

Pablo being a foil to Scott was pretty much unintentional, but it was a good point. Scott already had a great foil in Jo though: both of them were smart and manipulative players who knew how to play the game, but whereas Jo used those skills to lead her team to victory, Scott used those skills to lead his team to failure. However, in this story, Pablo's main foil will be Jerome, which also started off unintentionally. Jerome also has a foil in Viktoriya, although that was more deliberate. I'm glad you enjoyed Pablo's reveal; he will indeed be a powerful adversary, since I didn't want to write a boring villain (i.e. Justin).

You caught on to the fact that Jo was the only one who didn't react to Tyler's rant last chapter, and that was deliberate; this will be addressed in this chapter. And finally, don't feel bad for your phone jumping the gun; I frequently read and review stories on my iPod Touch and have done the same thing. Anyway, once again, a long response to your review, but that's because I love them!

**Sierraandcody625: **I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves BBQ sauce! There are certainly similarities to _Total Drama Returns, _which is why I'm probably going to do an episode based on it at some point. I'm glad you saw Pablo's evilness coming; I wanted to write him as slowly becoming more and more suspicious, so that some readers would predict the twist. Indeed, Trierra, Jyler, and Cam-Bridge are cute ideas for Crack-pairings, but I love crack-pairings in general! It's a good question to ask about how many Steve camps there are, but an even better question is how on earth did Harold have enough time to go to all of them?! XD I'm actually going to address that question later on, but the answer isn't going to be as humorous as you would think.

**RedEyedWarrior: **I'm glad the plot twist surprised you. I'm glad that you found Pablo's motivation understandable since that's exactly what I was going for when I first created him. Indeed, I don't blame Tyler for being frustrated with Lindsay either, although Tyler could have and should have been less cruel in expressing his frustration. It's true that Lindsay needs to become smarter if she wants to have a serious relationship, which just might happen later on. I could rant all day about the problems with relationships nowadays, but I'm already typing way too many words for these review responses! I'm glad that you thought that my last chapter was brilliant. I'm glad that you're taking such a liking to Jerome! And yes, seeing Alejandro react to the Heather/Jerome friendship/relationship is something I'm looking forward to writing when the Playa De Losers chapter comes up.

**zquest: **Looks like you have thing for Lindsay! Lol. Lindsay's dumbness can be cute in fiction, but in real life it would cause problems, which is one of the reasons I broke up the Tyler and Lindsay relationship. Anyways, Owen and Leshawna getting kicked out of the buffet and dance-club respectively were among my favorite jokes in the last chapter.

**slendie258: **Wow, you lost sympathy for both Tyler and Pablo extremely quickly, lol. I have a feeling that you'll warm up to Tyler again in the next few chapters, but Pablo's behavior is only going to get worse. I'm glad that you think I'm doing a good job with the jokes; when I was first going over my reviews, I noticed that most of them were talking more about the story and characters than the comedy, so I was concerned that my story wasn't funny. But my more recent reviews have been informing me that I've been doing a good job with bringing the laughs to this story, which makes me glad. Your eager waiting has paid off; enjoy this chapter!

**Potterpalgirl123: **I'm glad that you find this story really funny! All of my favorite stories either make me laugh or cry (or preferably both, depending on which scene I'm reading) so I try to put in plenty of funny moments, in addition to the dramatic moments. I'm glad that you didn't see the twist about Pablo coming; I have a feeling that you're really going to enjoy Pablo as a villain; I already have plans for many of Pablo's despicable acts in this story. I wasn't planning on redoing the 6teen parody from Total Drama Action, but now that you've brought it up, I just might do that as an excuse to throw in more foreshadowing. lol.

Wow, I probably typed up too much for these responses, but I love your guys' reviews that much, so be sure to keep them coming.

Episode Three: Paintball Returns Yet Again, Part 1

* * *

"_Last time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater…"_ Chef narrates.

_"The three teams had to write their own fan-fiction, featuring a crack-pairing that was randomly selected by giant slot machine._

_All three teams did a good job writing them down, but acting them out was another story! The only team that impressed me was the Fanon Fixers, who did an excellent job acting out their SierraXTrent story._

_ The Shipping Sailors lost again when Lindsay in her stupidity thought that Tyler was breaking up with her to date Jo. However, this wasn't a fluke; Lindsay's confusion on the situation was magnified by Pablo, who revealed that he wasn't nearly as innocent as you thought! Yeah, turns out the poor Brazilian boy is one bad dude._

_Obviously, the Sailors decided to send Lindsay packing, but not before being nastily insulted by Tyler, leading to them ironically breaking up for real! Will the Shipping Sailors become the obligatory "inferior team"? Or will their fortunes reverse? Find out right now on Total. Drama. Fan-Fiction Theater!"_

* * *

The next morning was awkward for Tyler. It was a shame, since DJ made waffles for breakfast, but Tyler couldn't appreciate them. He was sitting with all of his teammates, and three of them (Cody, Courtney, and Justin) were glaring at him for what had happened last night.

Tyler finally responded "Look guys! I feel really bad about what happened! I already feel terrible about it; you don't need to make me feel guiltier! Besides, I'm trying my best to apologize to Lindsay!" Tyler then pulled out his cell phone. "I tried to call her five times this morning, but she won't pick up! I can't tell if she's still mad at me or if she forgot how to use her phone…"

Cody, Courtney, and Justin all frowned at Tyler's comment. Tyler realized that he accidentally called Lindsay stupid. "Wait, that's not what…"

"Come on guys." Justin told the geek and C.I.T. "Let's get out of here before Tyler starts insulting _us_."

All three of them left the table, leaving Tyler with only Jo for company. Jo surprised Tyler when she put her hand on his shoulder and said "I'm sorry for what happened. Frankly, I don't see why everyone is so mad at you; I would have told Lindsay the same thing!"

Tyler sighed "Well it still wasn't right the way I hurt Lindsay's feelings. So I kinda had this coming."

Jo frowned. "Nonsense! Sure you were mean, but that's not a reason to shun a teammate! Don't worry; I've got your back, even if everyone else doesn't."

Tyler let a small smile appear on his face as he responded "Thanks Jo."

* * *

Confessional

Jo: Tyler's going through a rough patch in his life; his girlfriend broke up with him, his friends are shunning him, and now he probably feels alone and miserable. So the right thing to do in this situation is to be Tyler's friend. (After a small beat, Jo continues) That way I can manipulate him into being in an alliance without him knowing!

* * *

Gwen ended up sitting next to Courtney. The Goth and C.I.T. were having a conversation about the game.

"So if you won the prize money, what would you do with it? Gwen asked her friend.

Courtney smiled. "I'd use most of it to pay for Law school. "How about you?"

Gwen shrugged, and said "I guess I would use it to pay for Art school."

"Art school? Absolutely pathetic." A third voice said rudely. Viktoriya had gotten her breakfast and just sat down across from Gwen. "That's a waste of all that money. Art isn't going to solve the problems of the world."

Gwen frowned "Well, what would **you **do with the prize money, Miss Condescending?"

Viktoriya smirked. "I would use it to start my own Solar panel company! It would provide a cheap source of energy that doesn't negatively impact the environment. You see, **my **use of the prize money is selfless, unlike the rest of you losers, who will use it for selfish reasons."

Both Courtney and Gwen frowned at this, and left their current table to sit somewhere away from Viktoriya. Courtney said "I can't believe that I'm switching seats again!"

Cody ate with Heather; the two have been on friendly terms ever since the end of World Tour. "So Heather, did you enjoy your night on the town?"

Heather smiled and said "Yeah. Me, Jerome, and Harold went to a BBQ restaurant." Heather then sighed dreamily.

Cody smiled and then teased Heather by saying "Well somebody has a crush!"

Heather frowned. "No I don't! I don't even know what you're talking about!"

Cody smirked. "I'm talking about how you screamed that Jerome wasn't ugly yesterday."

Heather blushed. "You heard that?"

"Everybody in the tent heard you Heather!"

Heather sighed. "OK fine, I kinda like Jerome? Happy?"

Meanwhile, Sierra and Pablo were talking about all the Total Drama World Tour episodes they had watched last night.

"So who is your favorite Total Drama contestant Pablo?" Sierra asked the Brazilian.

"I would say...Cody. He's so nice!" Pablo responded.

"No way! He's my favorite too!"

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: (Chuckles, before speaking) I can't believe she bought that! Seriously, my favorite contestant is Alejandro. **That **guy knew how to play to win. Seriously, he almost single handily took out Team Victory, which was a brilliant strategic move. Out of all the teams, Team Victory had the most members who in previous seasons made it to the merge. In a similar matter, I should focus my sights on the Fanon Fixers. Two-thirds of their members have made it to the merge at least once; not to mention they have more members than any other team.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jo ended up thinking almost the same thing. She realized that her team, down to five members, was at a major disadvantage with the other teams. She decided that she needed to 'even the playing fields' so to speak. Jo looked over, and noticed Anne Maria and Leshawna were sitting together, which didn't make since but it had to happen for plot reasons. Jo also noticed that Anne Maria had a can of hair spray next to her, that she wasn't using since she was busy eating.

Jo thought to herself _"If I steal her hair spray, Anne Maria will assume that her team stole it, and then they will be too busy arguing to properly focus on today's challenge!"_ Just after that thought came to her, a hand appeared from under the table that Anne Maria was at, and swiped away the hair spray.

Jo frowned, because somebody else stole her idea to sabotage the Fanon Fixers! She then noticed Pablo hurrying out of the tent, with something in his pocket. Of course, nobody else noticed; they were too busy focusing on the fight between Anne Maria and Leshawna!

"All right Leshawna! Give me back my hair spray!" Anne Maria yelled at the ghetto girl.

"I did not take your stupid hair spray!" Leshawna insisted. "But I should thank whoever did, since I couldn't breathe with you sprayin' that crap everywhere!"

"That's it! **Nobody** insults my beauty products!" Anne Maria then tackled Leshawna.

Jo ignored the fight between Anne Maria and Leshawna, and went outside the tent, and found Pablo throwing Anne Maria's hair spray in a garbage can.

"Well what do we have here?" Jo said.

Pablo turned around, feeling shocked. "Oh, hi Jo! How are you doing this fine morning?"

"I'm busting a rat!" Jo responded. "I can't believe you started that fight between Anne Maria and Leshawna!"

Pablo smirked. "I have a feeling that the only reason you care about that is because you wanted to do it first."

Jo looked really surprised. "How did you know?!"

"I know because both of our teams share a common enemy; the Fanon Fixers. That's why I propose we enter an alliance Jo."

Jo looked very suspicious. "What _kind_ of an alliance?"

"An alliance dedicated to taking out the Fanon Fixers." Pablo explained calmly. "If left alone, the Fanon Fixers will outnumber both of our teams, and defeat our teams each time. But if we work together to take them down, then we can guarantee that our teams will make it to the merge."

Jo smiled. "I like the way you think kid. Count me in!"

"Wait just a minute!" A third voice suddenly announced. The poor boy and female jock turned around to see Viktoriya glaring at them.

"You can't just start an alliance like this without me!" Viktoriya declared.

* * *

Confessional:

Viktoriya: Alliances are a great way to increase your chance for victory. And since I deserve the prize more than anybody else, I shall obtain victory by _any_ means necessary.

* * *

Pablo smirked "You are more than welcome to join our alliance Viktoriya! Now then, let's discuss a game plan. During today's challenge, I will find a way to sabotage the Fixers, while you two ensure that our teams don't lose."

Jo smirked "If there is anyone who can lead a team of five to victory, it's me!"

"And I'm going to make sure that the Sue Crew keeps on winning." Said Viktoriya.

Pablo then shook hands with both Jo and Viktoriya. All of a sudden, Chef Hatchet announced in a loud voice "Breakfast is over maggots! Now get your butts to the Western set for today's challenge!"

* * *

The remaining twenty-two teens quickly followed Chef's order, and made their way to the Western film set, first seen in the Total Drama Action episode: '_3:10 to Crazytown.'_

"All right maggots, today's challenge is a variation on a classic Total Drama Island challenge; one reused and recycled in many different fan-fics: paintball! This time, instead of a hunter versus the hunted theme, we will be doing an epic Western shoot-out."

Justin frowned at this announcement.

* * *

Confessional:

Justin: I don't particularly like paintball. I don't like how the paint stains ruins my perfect skin. I almost wanted to sit out of this challenge, but my team is on a losing streak, and I could get voted off for not pulling my weight. So I'll have to endure this. Hopefully the paint will wash off…

* * *

"All right, here is how the challenge is gonna work." Chef explained. "The Fanon Fixers will be the citizens of this Western Town, under attack by bandits; the bandits are the Sue Crew and the Shipping Sailors. So the Fanon Fixers will have thirty minutes to hide in this set somewhere. After that, the other teams will enter the set to hunt you down. The team with the least amount of paint on them wins. All of ya'll are gonna get two paintball pistols."

Chef then handed out twenty-two belts, each with a pair of gun-hostlers. Then, Chef gave each contestant a pair of paintball handguns. Viktoriya frowned when she got hers.

"These paintball guns are _really _low quality." Viktoriya griped. She then tested the gun, by shooting at a mosquito. She ended up pinning said mosquito to a wall with a single shot.

Duncan quirked an eyebrow and whistled. "_Nice shot." _Gwen frowned with envy at her boyfriend complimenting someone else.

Viktoriya also frowned. "What do you mean _nice shot? _I was aiming for a gnat that was next to the mosquito. I reiterate; these paintball guns suck."

Chef rolled his eyes. "Well I'm sorry if our equipment isn't up to your standards, but we're pretty much on a shoestring budget, so you're lucky that we even have enough guns for twenty-two contestants. Now zip it and let the challenge begin!"

* * *

The Fanon Fixers went into the Western Set. Once they were out of sight, Heather started giving out orders. "It would be best to split up into groups. That way, it will be more difficult for the others to find us."

Jerome quickly said "Excellent idea Heather! Can you, me, and Harold be in a group together?"

Heather smiled. "Yeah, sure thing!"

Owen turned to Noah and said "What do ya say, little buddy? Wanna pair up for the challenge?"

Noah shrugged. "Why not? Somebody has to keep an eye on you."

Sierra asked Trent "Do you wanna work together for this challenge?"

Trent smiled. "Sure thing."

Leshawna frowned, she realized that there was only one other teammate; Anne Maria. "Now wait just a minute! I am _not _working with Miss Air Pollution!"

Heather frowned. "Oh yes you _will!_"

Leshawna responded "Why does it have to be me? Are you assigning me with Anne Maria just to spite me?!"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Oh please Leshawna; I'm so over our little rivalry. But you're the only one who is tough enough to make sure that Miss Jersey Shore Reject actually does the challenge."

Before Leshawna could object more, the other groups split up, going to find a solid hiding place. The ghetto girl sighed and addressed Anne Maria "Girl, we better get going."

Anne Maria frowned "But I'm still applyin' my make up!"

"And I'm gonna apply another _beat-down_ to ya if you don't start the challenge." Leshawna threatened, referring to the fact that she won the fight they had during breakfast.

Anne Maria frowned, but joined Leshawna, as they went off to find a place to hide for the challenge.

* * *

This will be an interesting episode to write. In comparison to the first two episodes, where I came up with the ideas for the challenges several months ago, I only decided to do a paintball challenge a few weeks ago. However, I did know that in this episode, that Pablo, Viktoriya, and Jo would start their alliance, when Jo busted Pablo for stealing Anne Maria's hair-spray. I will admit that the concept of doing a paintball challenge based off of Westerns was partially inspired by the season two Community episode: _A Fistful of Paintballs._

Also, quick shout out to NerdyBarista, who correctly predicted that Duncan would take an interest in Viktoriya! Anyway, from now on my life's going to get busier, so that means updates will be less frequent. But I'll still try my best to update at least once a week.

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: Things heat up when the paintballs fly! Duncan continues to be impressed by Viktoriya's skills, much to the envy of Gwen! Meanwhile, Jo tries to whip Tyler into shape, and Justin receives help from the last person he would suspect! And one of Mike's alternate personalities resurfaces, much to the pleasure of Pablo and the displeasure of Zoey! Will Pablo's alliance succeed in taking out the Fanon Fixers? Or will the Shipping Sailor's losing streak continue? All these things, and more, will be addressed in the next chapter!


	7. Episode Three, Part 2

Once again, _loving _those reviews! Be sure to keep them coming!

**slendie258: **I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter. I also enjoy the feud between Anne Maria and Leshawna, which is interesting since they originally weren't supposed to be rivals! In my original idea for this story, it was Heather who had a rivalry with Anne Maria, but after I wrote that scene where Leshawna and Anne Maria argued in chapter three, I realized that Leshawna made for a better rival. I can see why you don't like Jo now! I don't blame you, she's one of the main villains of this story. Once again, your eager waiting has paid off: here is my latest update!

**sierrasndcody625: **You're right, if Pablo had to, he would be able to take out the Fanon Fixers, but with Jo and Viktoriya helping him, it will be a lot easier. I can understand why you are still rooting for him, given his sympathetic backstory; but by around episode five, Pablo's methods will become too cruel and sadistic for people to feel sorry for him.

**Potterpalgirl123:** Gwen just might set Duncan straight; It's one of the only reasons I'm writing Gwuncan for this story; I usually prefer to ship Gwen and Duncan with different people. Anyways, glad you thought my last chapter was awesome, and hopefully you'll find this chapter awesome too!

**tdroti scott's Bff: **You are looking forward to the drama aren't you? XD Well, good news for you; this chapter is jam-packed with Drama! Enjoy!

**Epicenter Six: **What a great review! I'm glad that you like my original characters and think my story is interesting, but you also gave me some good constructive criticism. It's true that I do focus on some characters more then others, and I do need to work on that. But to be fair, with the way I planned this story, I have plans to give some characters focus now, with others getting focus later. For example, Gwen and Duncan are going to get major focus for the next few chapters, but by the time that episode five is done, they will get less focus in the story, with others getting more. And it's true that I need to work more on the challenges. One of my favorite things to write is character interaction, and sometimes I get too focused on that. But, as you noticed, I'm trying to write more for the challenge, which is what I did for this chapter. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

**RedEyedWarrior: **I'm glad you thought my last chapter was awesome. I'm also glad that you like Heather and Jerome's interactions, and there's gonna be more of that this chapter! Don't worry too much about the Fanon Fixers; while they're going to take a massive hit, I really like the dynamics of three different teams competing, so they won't completely vanish prior to the merge. Although I wouldn't call Alejandro perfect, he certainly was an overpowered villain. But hey, I'll take an overpowered villain over an underwhelming antagonist (i.e. Justin and Courtney in _Action_) anyday.

You've made a good point that the Sailors need to stop judging Tyler and forgive him. But they're not the only people who need to forgive; one of the major themes of this story is forgiveness (other major themes are redemption and repentance). And there just might be hints of Jyler in this story. Anyway, I really hated what happened to Courtney in season three too, so I'm not gonna do the same thing and make Gwen crazy. But there _will_ be a lot of drama between Gwen and Duncan in this fic. I'm glad you think that this story is almost as good as Total Drama Returns, since that is one of the funniest stories I have read on this site! BTW, the Total Drama Returns chapter is coming soon!

**Idolmaster Yamada: **Nope! Vito isn't going to appear in this episode at all! Look down below to find out which of Mike's personalities will appear!

**NerdyBarista: **You make a good point that Viktoriya isn't the only person with a 'selfless' plan to use the prize money with. However, a big part of Viktoriya's character is that she's very self-righteous and arrogant, which means she thinks she's better than anybody else, and that's why she said that last chapter. Yep, Pablo's evilness has now been more revealed. Actually, in my original plan, this episode was going to be when Pablo's villainy was going to be revealed, and it was going to be revealed as Pablo stole Anne Maria's can. But that was because I thought that it would only take me one chapter to write each episode! When I realized how many chapters this story would have, I decided to write Pablo's reveal an episode earlier. And I think that everybody knows who is going to be eliminated next. Anyways! I had fun writing this challenge, so have fun reading how it plays out!

Episode Three: Paintball Returns Yet Again, Part 2

* * *

After thirty minutes had passed, Chef gave to each member of the Sue Crew and the Shipping a cowboy hat and a pair of protective goggles.

"Wait a minute." Cameron said. "Did you give these to the Fanon Fixers?"

"Whoops." Chef said. "I forgot to give the Fixers their cowboy hats. But I did give them goggles; but Helmet 798 forgot to mention that this chapter. Anyways, Sue Crew! You will be entering the Western Set from the South. And the Shipping Sailors will enter from the North. Now, get going maggots!"

As the Sue Crew walked to the northern part of the set, they put on their goggles and hats; but not without protest from Duncan, at least for the cowboy hat.

"I'm not gonna cover my awesome mohawk with this stupid hat!"

"It's not that bad Duncan." Mike said. "There are worse hats to wear." Mike then put on his cowboy hat, which brought out Mike's alternate personality Manitoba Smith.

"Oy! It's time to go a huntin' with these here paintball guns." Manitoba then pulled out both of his paintball guns and shot down a swarm of mosquitoes. Pablo smiled at having such a strong contestant on his team.

Manitoba then frowned when he noticed that Viktoriya, Bridgette, Gwen, and Zoey were also carrying guns. "Just a bloomin' minute! The women-folk shouldn't be carryin' firearms! That's a job for us men!"

Naturally, this sexist remark ticked off Gwen, Bridgette, and particularly Zoey. Viktoriya then used her paintball gun to shoot the cowboy head off of Manitoba Smith's head, which brought back Mike.

"I'm so sorry for Manitoba Smith's sexist remarks!" Mike apologized. "I think you girls will do great in this challenge!"

Cameron couldn't help but wonder aloud "Why did that hat bring out Manitoba Smith when it wasn't a fedora?"

Mike took a good look at the cowboy hat and guessed "Well, when you get down to it, cowboy hats and fedoras are very similar, down to their wide brim." Mike then threw his cowboy hat to the side, not wanting Manitoba Smith to come out again.

The Sue Crew made it to the northern part of the set. Duncan decided to talk strategy. "OK, here's what we should do; five of us should walk through the set as a group. If we find somebody, all five of us can shoot at them simultaneously. Meanwhile, they'll only be able to shoot at one of us, keeping the rest of us free of paintball stains."

"Wow." Viktoriya said. "I didn't expect to hear such a great strategy from someone like you."

Duncan smirked. "Well, I didn't expect you to be an expert marksman with a paintball gun, so I guess we're even sweetheart."

Duncan felt someone behind him tap him on the shoulder. The delinquent turned around to find his girlfriend glaring at him. "Are you _flirting _with Viktoriya?" Gwen asked with anger.

Duncan quickly responded "What?! N-no! I'm just…uhh…._appreciating _Viktoriya's contribution to the team! Honest!"

Gwen stared at Duncan like she didn't believe him. After a few seconds of silence, Cameron spoke up. "So about the challenge…..Let's go with Duncan's idea. Five of us should go in a group, and the remaining three can go off on their own."

The Sue Crew did what Cameron suggested. Duncan, Gwen, Viktoriya, Mike, and Zoey went off to find the Fanon Fixers in a group, while Cameron, Bridgette, and Pablo went their separate ways.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Shipping Sailors were at the south end of the set, getting ready to go.

"All right!" Tyler shouted with joy. "Finally, we get a physically active challenge! Let's go to the extreme!" Tyler then tried to fire his paintball gun by pulling the trigger, but due to his strong fingers, Tyler ended up squeezing and crushing the gun with his own bare hands.

"Wow, that's extremely unhelpful." Justin quipped at Tyler. "Anyways, how about we all split up and lay low during this challenge? If we hide successfully, then the other teams will be too busy shooting at each other to shoot at us. "

Tyler frowned. "That's a coward's strategy! Let's go out and do the challenge!" Tyler then ran off. Quickly afterwards, Jo followed him. That left Cody, Courtney, and Justin, who all decided that Justin's plan was a good one. The C.I.T., the geek, and the model all went their separate ways to find a hiding place.

Courtney wandered around the Western set, looking for an ideal hiding place. She then noticed a large barrel, with a small hole in it. Courtney smiled; it was the perfect hiding place! Plus, she could shoot at people through the little hole. Without anybody noticing, the C.I.T slipped into the barrel, waiting for a moment to strike!

* * *

Owen and Noah were hiding in a barn. To be specific, both of them were hiding in two specific haystacks inside the barn. It would have been boring, if not for Owen's third-person monologue-ing.

"Owen, the citizen of the untamed west, has heard news of bandits coming into town. He is nevertheless ready for any low-lives who come for him. Owen is fully loaded and…." Owen's speech was interrupted when he got pelted with numerous paintballs.

"…Owen's monologue-ing reveals his position to the enemy." Noah snarked once Owen got hit. However, this sarcastic remark also revealed Noah's location, and the bookworm was also pelted with paintballs. Both Owen and Noah got out of the haystacks, and found that it was Cameron who had shot them.

Owen and Noah both pulled out a pair of paintball pistols and tried to shoot Cameron with both of them. Of course, when you're shooting with two guns you can't aim properly, so Cameron (who was only using one paintball gun) managed to shoot Owen a few more times before running off.

Noah looked at the two pistols in his hands, and said "You know, a smart guy like me should have realized that using two guns at once isn't normally the most effective strategy."

* * *

Meanwhile, the group of five from the Sue Crew was walking down a street, looking around the various buildings for other contestants to get. Duncan then noticed through a window that Cody was on the second floor of an Old West Inn. _"Everybody stay quiet!" _Duncan whispered to his teammates, _"On the count of three, let's go up to the window and all shoot at Cody. One…" _

Before Duncan could finish his countdown, Viktoriya rushed towards the window, pulled out two pistols, and instantly gunned down Cody. Her accuracy was dead on, which resulted in Cody's shirt being completely engulfed in paintballs.

"_Impressive." _Duncan couldn't help but say aloud.

Cody quickly pulled out one of his pistols and aimed for Viktoriya. Cody fired, but Viktoriya dodged every 'bullet' by doing four back flips in a row. Duncan gazed at Viktoriya's impressive moves, saying _"__**Very**__ impressive."_

Gwen gritted her teeth in envy.

* * *

Confessional:

Duncan: That Viktoriya chick certainly knows how to handle a firearm. Not to mention she's feisty and pretty easy on the eyes; my type of woman. (Duncan grins for a few seconds, before frowning) Gwen's not going to see this right?

*Static*

Gwen: I don't like all the attention that Duncan has been giving Viktoriya! (Gwen then calms down) OK, take it easy, Gwen. Don't become a clingy jealous girl; that'll just make things worse. I mean, one of the reasons I had to break up with Trent was because he got so jealous! Just because I was friends with…Duncan. (Gwen frowns when she realizes that wasn't the best example) But still! It's not like Duncan is the type of guy to…ch-cheat on his girlfriend….(Gwen sighs in misery as a single tear drops down her eye)

* * *

Mike and Zoey jumped in and both shot at Cody. They added an extra layer of paint to the geek, who had to retreat back into the building. Gwen said "Duncan! You and I should go in here to finish him off."

Duncan responded "I like the way you think. Let's bring Viktoriya too-"

"NO!" Gwen interrupted. "Just the two of us!" Gwen then dragged Duncan in by his ear into the building.

This left Viktoriya, Mike, and Zoey to continue roaming around the set, looking for the others.

* * *

Meanwhile, Trent and Sierra were hiding in a stereotypical Old West saloon. They were both hiding behind the bar.

"I don't get it Sierra." Trent said. "Six chapters in, and I've barely appeared in this story! I mean, during the last episode I won the challenge for my team, but I barely got any screentime! Am I really that boring of a character?"

"No way!" Sierra told the guitarist. "Helmet 798 may not have much planned for you to do, but that doesn't mean you're boring at all! You're a great artist with a calm and collected personality in a show/story full of crazy people! You're special Trent!"

Trent smiled at Sierra's words of encouragement. All of a sudden, both of them heard somebody walking by the saloon. Quickly, both of them jumped out from behind the bar, and started shooting at the person walking by: Bridgette. She gasped when her hoodie was quickly pelted with several paintballs. She turned to the side to see Trent and Sierra shooting and her. Once Trent and Sierra had been spotted, they quickly bolted to the back of the saloon.

Bridgette went inside the saloon, with her gun in hand. She looked around, trying to find where Trent and Sierra had gone to. Sierra was hiding under a table. The fan-girl managed to shoot at Bridgette's sandals. Bridgette then looked at the direction that the paintballs were coming from. She walked towards the table, flipped it over, and fired her gun!

But there was nothing underneath the table! Bridgette then quickly turned around, and saw both Trent and Sierra running out the saloon. The surfer quickly went off to chase after them.

* * *

Pablo was creeping about, looking for Anne Maria. He then noticed that Mike, Zoey, and Viktoriya were walking down the street. All of a sudden, a strong burst of wind came through the set. Smirking, Pablo took off his cowboy hat, letting the wind carry it away. The hat landed on Mike's head, which once again, brought out Manitoba Smith. As this was going on, Trent and Sierra were running in the direction of the three members of the Sue Crew. Manitoba noticed a rope lying down next to him. Quickly, the Australian explorer picked it up, and used it to lasso Trent and Sierra's feet. The guitarist and fan-girl tripped. The second this happened, Viktoriya went in for the kill. She pulled out her two pistols, and used one to get Trent, and the other to get Sierra. Quickly afterwards, Bridgette had caught up, and also managed to shoot at Trent and Sierra.

In thirty seconds, Trent and Sierra were completely covered in paint. Bridgette and Viktoriya, despite their differences, couldn't help but high-five in response to their success.

"Good job ladies! Especially _you _Shelia!" Manitoba Smith said, pointing his finger at Viktoriya.

Viktoriya scoffed. "I thought that you thought that ladies shouldn't be using these guns."

"That was before I saw ya in action Shelia!" Manitoba replied. "That was the most impressive display of gunmanship I've ever seen!"

He then scooped up Viktoriya in his arms. "In fact, you are the type of lady who I'd like to go out on an adventure with! An adventure known as datin'! What do ya say, mate?"

Before Viktoriya could respond, Zoey shoved the Russian out of Manitoba Smith's arms. Zoey then took the hat off of Mike's head.

"Whoa! Zoey, I'm _**so **_sorry!" Mike said, apologizing to his girlfriend.

"We'll talk about this later!" Zoey said angrily. "Now then, let's get this challenge over with!" Zoey took off her cowboy hat, then pulled out a headband and put in on; making it clear that in her anger and jealously, she had turned into Commando Zoey. She then went off, to finish the challenge quickly. Pablo, who had been watching all of this, smirked.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: I love my team! There are so many members, like Mike and Zoey, who are just _begging_ to be manipulated by me! I'll be sure that Commando Zoey can help us in future challenges.

* * *

Meanwhile, Duncan and Gwen had finished off Cody. After cornering the geek and shooting at him a few more time, Cody dropped his gun, and cried for mercy. The pair let Cody go. Duncan and Gwen exited the building, only for Duncan to get shot at by Harold.

"Yes! Come and get me Duncan!" Harold then ran off. Duncan, who had a perfect opportunity to mess with Harold, chased after him right away, leaving Gwen behind.

After chasing him down, Duncan finally managed to corner Harold in an alley, between two buildings. "Well _Doris, _it looks like your luck has run out." Duncan took one more step towards the geek, only to step on something that caused a paint explosion. Duncan was sent flying, and when he had landed, the delinquent was covered from head to toe with green paint.

"What was that?!" Duncan exclaimed.

Harold smirked. "That was a paint landmine. I learned how to make them at Chekhov Steve's 'New Powers As the Plot Demands' Camp!" To add insult to injury, Harold used his paintball gun to cover Duncan's mohwak with _pink _paint.

That wasn't a good idea, since Duncan retaliated by kicking Harold in the stomach. Duncan then grabbed Harold by the shirt, and said "Oh yeah? Well, when I'm through with you, you'll be going to Maimed Steve's Nerds Camp for Dorks With Broken Limbs!"

Before Duncan could pull through with his threat, Jerome appeared behind Duncan, and said "Hey scumbag!" Duncan turned around, and saw that Jerome was holding a large can of paint. "Let go of my friend!" Jerome then threw the can of paint at the delinquent.

The paint can crashed into Duncan's face. "OWWWWW! Ugh, you lousy-" Before Duncan could finish, he passed out, letting go of Harold.

"Wait just a minute!" a voice said from a barrel. Courtney had watched the whole scene play out. She popped out of the barrel and yelled "Chef Hatchet! Come here!"

Chef quickly appeared "What is it bossy girl?"

"Jerome just seriously injured Duncan with a can of paint! Disqualify him!" Courtney yelled at the Chef turned host.

Chef shrugged. "I don't see why I should. Jerome used a can of paint during a paintball challenge, so he didn't break any rules."

Courtney frowned. "Well, at least get Duncan some medical attention!"

Chef took a look at the delinquent. "Meh, he looks fine to me."

Courtney scowled. "Listen here Hatchet, if you don't help Duncan **right now, **I'll have my lawyers file an injury lawsuit!"

Chef frowned. "You're bluffing girl."

Courtney whipped out her P.D.A. "_No I'm not._ I know that this show has already dealt with lawsuits from the families of Dakota and Scott, and it most likely can't afford another. So **get going!**"

"All right fine!" Chef said. He then got some interns to take him to the injury tent. Jerome looked shocked at Courtney.

"I don't understand; I thought that you would have approved of what I did Courtney." Jerome told the C.I.T.

Courtney frowned. "Not long ago, I totally would have done the same thing. But now I'm changing, trying not to lose my temper and resort to violence. Also…" Courtney then shot Jerome eight times with her paintball gun, and ran off.

Jerome then shrugged, and helped Harold get up off the ground. "Are you OK man?" Jerome asked the geek.

"I'm fine, but it looks like the same can't be said for Duncan."

"I'll say!" Said a third voice shocked. Heather had seen the whole scene play out. "What's wrong with you Jerome?! You could have gotten Duncan killed!"

"You kinda went a bit too far." Harold told Jerome.

"What? Duncan was about to beat the living crap out of Harold! I simply returned the favor! Besides, Duncan is a total scumbag who deserved it!" Jerome told his teammates.

* * *

Confessional:

Heather: I'm not so sure I like Jerome now! With those anger issues, I'd feel safer dating _Alejandro. _(Heather paused, before frowning at her last statement) Not that I want to date Alejandro…Heh ,Heh, Heh….

* * *

Jo had finally managed to catch up with Tyler, who was still running. However, shortly after catching up, the klutzy jock tripped and fell on his face.

Jo sighed. "Look Tyler, you need to work on your technique. You may have strong fingers and a muscular figure, but as long as you don't use technique, you'll just fall flat on your face."

Tyler got up. "That sounds like a good idea Jo! Wait!" Tyler then noticed Cameron running away from Owen and Noah. Tyler quickly pulled out his working paintball gun and started firing randomly. Of course, Tyler failed to hit any of the three contestants he saw.

"This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about!" Jo said. "Look Tyler, let me help you out." Jo then grabbed Tyler's arm, and aimed it at Owen. "First you aim, _and then _you fire!" With help from the Jockette, Tyler managed to shoot Owen several times.

"Whoa…That's extremely awesome! Thanks for the help Jo!" Tyler then hugged Jo. Jo was surprised at the gesture, but even more surprised that she enjoyed the hug.

Meanwhile, Cameron had managed to outrun Owen and Noah, who weren't quite the most physically gifted. Cameron then noticed that Justin was hiding behind a barrel that didn't completely conceal the model; you could see his hair sticking out. Cameron then shot several paintballs at Justin's hair.

This caused Justin to jump out and start running in circles, panicking "No, No, No! Not the hair! **Not the hair!**"

Cameron took advantage of the fact that Justin had come out in the open, and shot him a few times, resulting in some paintballs staining Justin's arm. "NOOOO!" Justin shouted. "Not my beautiful skin! _Not my beautiful skin!" _Justin then starting sobbing hysterically. Cameron ended up feeling pity for the model, and decided to leave him alone.

* * *

Pablo continued his search for Anne Maria and Leshawna. Luckily, he heard the two of them arguing in a nearby building.

"Girl you gotta stop spraying that crap on your hair!" Yelled Leshawna. "It will give away our location to the enemy!"

"Sure, because you screamin' ya lungs off won't do the same thing." Anne Maria retorted sarcastically. Anne Maria, then turned away from Leshawna, and continued to use her hairspray. Pablo, standing right outside a window on the building, then used his gun to shoot the can of hairspray out of Anne Maria's hand.

Anne Maria was ticked off. She turned around, assuming that Leshawna was the one who did that. "Oh, that is it!" Anne Maria then picked up her can of hairspray, ran over to Leshawna, and started spraying at the ghetto girl.

Leshawna was not amused. "Stop…*cough*..using….. *cough*…that….*cough*….crap….*cough*….. _**NOW!**_" Leshawna grabbed Anne Maria's can of hairspray, and crushed it with her bare hands.

Anne Maria scowled. "My last can of hair spray! Oh, it is _so _on now!" Anne Maria pulled out her two paintball guns and quickly gunned down Leshawna with paintball bullets. Leshawna didn't take this sitting down, and pulled out _her _paintball guns, aiming primarily at Anne Maria's hair.

Forty-five seconds later, both of the girls had managed to deplete all of the paintball bullets in their guns, and both of them were covered from head to toe with paint. Pablo, satisfied with his sabotage, walked away from this scene, chuckling. "Looks like my work here is done."

* * *

Duncan woke up, and found himself on a gurney, with bandages wrapped around his head. "Huh, Wh-What happened?"

An intern wearing a nurse's hat responded "After you passed out, Courtney made sure that we got you medical treatment. Good thing too, cause if she didn't, you would have ended up seriously injured."

Courtney walked in the first aid tent. "Is Duncan all right?" Courtney then saw that Duncan was awake, and smiled.

Duncan looked super surprised. "Why did you do this for me Courtney?"

"Well, you didn't expect me to do nothing when you got hurt, did you?" Courtney responded.

Duncan couldn't believe what he had just heard. He _was_ expecting Courtney to not do anything, like the time she abandoned him when he sprained his ankle.**[1] **And that happened when they were on good terms! Duncan thought Courtney hated him; he though she was the type of person not to help him simply out of spite. Duncan came to a realization; he was using the word '_was', _which was in past tense. Courtney may have done some bad things in the past, but now she had saved his life. Perhaps Courtney really had changed. Just maybe, her apology meant something.

Duncan sighed. "Look Courtney. I'm sorry that I didn't accept your apology a few days ago. I forgive you." Duncan paused, before adding "And _I'm _sorry for cheating on you; I was frustrated with all of the bickering we did, and wanted to be with someone who I wouldn't have to argue with. But it was still wrong for me to break your heart like that. Can you forgive me?"

Courtney smiled. "Of course I can! Besides, I never really gave you the chance to apologize. **[2]**"

Duncan also quickly added "Oh, and thanks for helping me when I was injured."

"No problem! So, can we be friends again?"

"Whoa princess, slow down!" Duncan shouted. "I said I forgive you, not that I wanted to be friends with you. At least not yet…"

Courtney sighed a little. "Oh well. Anyways, get well soon Duncan!"

Courtney left the tent. Shortly afterwards, Gwen entered the tent. "Duncan, I heard that you got hurt! Are you all right?!"

Duncan smiled. "Calm down pasty, I'm fine, thanks to Courtney."

Gwen was so excited that Duncan was OK, that she hugged him. "Thank goodness, I was _so _worried about you!"

Duncan then brought up "Also, I got a chance to talk to Courtney a few minutes ago. I accepted her apology, and also apologized to her."

Gwen smiled. "Really?! That's fantastic Duncan!" Gwen then kissed Duncan on the forehead. "You've done something great today, so you deserve a reward. The next time we go out on a date, I'll let you chose what we do."

Duncan grinned. "Cool. I say we see that new horror movie that just came out."

All of a sudden, the voice of Chef Hatchet, amplified by a megaphone, announced "The challenge is now over! Report to the front of the Western Set, and we'll determine who won and who lost."

Gwen asked "Should I go on without you."

"Nah." Duncan replied. "I'm feeling better now." Duncan then got up and starting walking out of the tent. "Come on Gwen; let's see if we won the challenge."

* * *

All of the members of the Fanon Fixers and the Shipping Sailors were at the front of the set. Gwen and Duncan joined the Sue Crew, who were all their, save one member.

"Hey guys." Said Gwen. "Say, where is Zoey?"

Almost on cue, Commando Zoey leaped in out of nowhere, pulled out two paintball guns, and started shooting at the first person she saw: Trent.

"Hey!" Said Trent, who was already covered with paint, "The challenge is over!"

Mike went up to Zoey and said "Look Zoey, you got to calm down!"

"How can I calm down when there's war afoot!" Commando Zoey retorted melodramatically.

Mike responded by saying "Like this." Mike then kissed his girlfriend, which brought Zoey back to her senses. **[3]**

"Whoa…." Zoey said. "What happened?"

"Well, we didn't lose the challenge!" Pablo said with excitement.

"I'll be the judge of that!" Said Chef Hatchet, who had just appeared. He took a look at each team.

Almost every member of the Fanon Fixers was covered with paint. Only Heather and Harold were totally clean. In particular, Leshawna and Anne Maria were both covered from head to toe with paint.

"Well, it looks like the Fanon Fixers lose. Ya'll will be sendin' a teammate home tonight. And the winning team is….the Shipping Sailors!"

Every member of the Shipping Sailors, with the exception of Justin, shouted out in cheer!

"All right!" Said Tyler. "Our team rocks! Seriously! Jo and Courtney, you two are freaking awesome!" Tyler then pulled in all of his teammates in for a group hug. Cody and Courtney both realized that they shouldn't have been so mean to Tyler; sure he lost his temper once, but he was a swell guy who loved his team.

"Hey Tyler." Courtney said. "Sorry for shunning you like that earlier."

Cody nodded his head. "Yeah, we shouldn't have treated you so poorly." Justin didn't add anything, mainly because he still felt miserable that his formerly perfect hair was still ruined by paint.

Tyler smiled. "I forgive you guys!"

"So you win the right to go into town tonight Sailors." Chef told the team.

Cody then said "Hey, is it OK if we bring the Sue Crew with us? They did it with us, and I'd like to return the favor."

"Sure, whatever." Said Chef. "Now, all of ya'll hit the showers now! Get that paint of ya bodies!"

* * *

Anne Maria went to the showers. Her hair was absolutely covered with paint. She pulled out the last beauty product she had, which was her super strong shampoo. But then she saw Justin, in a bathrobe, sobbing outside the shower area. Anne Maria looked at him in concern and said "Hey, is there something wrong?"

In between his tears, Justin managed to say "My Hair! The paint won't wash out of it! My perfect hair is ruined!" Justin then burst into a new wave of tears.

Anne Maria looked at Justin with pity. "Here you go, my heavy duty shampoo will wash that gunk out."

Justin looked at Anne Maria, who was handing him that bottle of shampoo. "Will that really work on my hair?"

Anne Maria smiled. "It will! One time, I tripped and fell into a mud-pit, and my entire hair was covered in gunk. But this shampoo completely washed it away."

Justin then grabbed the bottle of shampoo. "So, you're giving this to me? It looks like you really need it."

"Well, you need it more."

Anne Maria was surprised when all of a sudden Justin hugged her. "Thank you so much!" Justin said. The Model then went into the shower to restore his hair to it's former beauty.

* * *

Heather was moping outside the girl's trailer, feeling miserable. All of a sudden, Harold came by and asked "Hey, what's wrong?"

The golden toothed girl sighed. "I let the whole team down! If I didn't make Anne Maria and Leshawna work together, then perhaps our team wouldn't have lost!"

Harold shook his head. "Come on Heather, it wasn't your fault! Besides, with Anne Maria's short temper, she probably would have feuded with anybody she was paired up with!"

Heather responded "I guess, but still! It was a dumb move to put those two together for a challenge. Maybe I'm not as good a competitor as I thought..."

"Nonsense!" Said a third voice. Jerome had arrived to cheer up Heather. "Heather, you are a **great **competitor! You managed to make it to the final three in **two **different seasons! You're smart, clever, and a great strategist! Never tell yourself otherwise!"

All of a sudden, Heather pulled in Jerome for a hug. "Thank you." Heather told him.

* * *

Confessional:

Heather: OK, I'm back to liking Jerome again! Maybe even as more then friends...

*Static*

Jerome: Wow! Heather and I are becoming great friends! Awesome!

*Static*

Harold: I don't get it. I tried to encourage Heather, but she didn't give _me _a hug. (Harold sighs)

* * *

The Fanon Fixers made there way to the theater. Chef was waiting for them with a plate of eight marshmallows. "All right Fixers, let's get this over with. Jerome, Harold, Trent, Sierra, Owen, and Noah get the first six marshmallows."

This left Leshawna, Heather, and Anne Maria left.

"The next marshmallow goes to...

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Leshawna. And the final marshmallow goes to...

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...Heather!"

Heather smiled as she caught the last marshmallow. Anne Maria was not shocked that she was eliminated. She walked out of the theater and was about to enter the Lame-o-sine, but then Justin stopped her. "Wait!" He said.

Anne Maria looked and saw that Justin's hair was back to normal, no scratch that! "Wow, your hair is looking even better than usual!"

"I know!" Said Justin. "And it's all thanks to your shampoo! Seriously, thank you so much for giving me it!"

"No prob Justin!"

Justin then shocked Anne Maria by saying "Say, if I get eliminated soon, would you like to...go out and grab a bite to eat?"

"Justin? Are you asking me out?!"

Justin blushed. "Yeah, I am."

Anne Maria hugged him. "I'd be glad to go out with you."

Justin gave Anne Maria his phone number, and after that, the Jersey Shore reject entered the Lame-o-sine, ready to go to the Playa De Losers. Once Anne Maria was gone, Justin entered the Winner's-sine, ready for a night on the town!

* * *

Justin sat down in the limo next to Tyler and Courtney. "All right bro! I say that every member of the Shipping Sailors should celebrate our victory with a feast! You in?"

"Sure thing!" Justin said. Courtney and Cody also agreed to go!

Tyler then turned to Jo. "How about you?"

"What? I can't!" Jo said. "I have to...uh...work out tonight!"

"Come on Jo!" Tyler said. "We wouldn't have been able to win if it wasn't for you! You deserve to be part of our victory feast most of all!"

Jo smiled. "Well...OK. I'll eat with you guys for a while. But I have to leave early!"

Meanwhile, Pablo surprised Viktoriya by saying "Hey Viktoriya! Would you like to eat out with me tonight?"

"What?!" Viktoriya yelled in shock. Was Pablo asking her out on a date? Viktoriya then realized that Pablo wanted to talk strategy in private. "Oh! Sure thing!"

Duncan quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You're going out with a shrimp like Pablo? You could do _so _much better."

Viktoriya scoffed at the delinquent. "Well, I'd date Pablo over a lowlife loser like you anyday!"

Duncan chuckled. "That girl **so **wants me."

Duncan then felt that somebody slapped him upside the head. That someone was Gwen. "What was **that**?!"

Duncan tried to act innocent. "What was what pasty?"

Gwen scowled. "I heard what you said Duncan! Look, we need to talk about our relationship more! Let's go back to the Coffee shop."

Duncan frowned "Do we have to? I thought you said I could choose what we would do tonight, and I wanted to go out to the movies!"

Gwen responded "We can go to the movies; **after we talk about our relationship!**"

* * *

Zoey and Mike went out to eat at the same Italian restaurant as last time. But this time, Zoey brought Cameron, since she was afraid that one of Mike's alternate personalities would pop out and start flirting with other women. Bridgette went to get some comfort food at the salad bar, since she was disappointed that she has gotten so little screentime in this story, in spite of the fact that she's one of my favorite characters. Duncan and Gwen fought over coffee, with Gwen trying to get Duncan to confess that he liked Viktoriya. After that, they went to the movies, but they were silent all the way through, in spite of it being a horror movie that would normally be right up their alley.

The Shipping Sailors celebrated their first victory at the BBQ restaurant that Jerome, Harold, and Heather had visited the previous night. All of them had a great time, particularly Jo and Tyler. After forty-five minutes, Jo left her teammates, to go 'work out'. However she didn't go to the gym. Instead, she went out to a Vietnamese Restaurant, where Pablo and Viktoriya were waiting.

Jo found where her two alliance members were sitting. She sat down with them, and saw Pablo frowning. "You're late."

"Sorry guys, but I ended up celebrating victory with my team longer than I thought!"

Viktoriya rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Anyways it looks like we accomplished our first goal! Not surprising, considering that I always win!"

Jo chuckled. "What about chapter three, when you lost-" Jo couldn't finish her remark, because Viktoriya splashed the Jockette with her water.

"Shut up." Said Viktoriya.

"Ladies! Don't fight!" Said Pablo. "We need to plan out our next move; figure out who on the Fanon Fixers we will sabotage next. And I know exactly who we should focus on tomorrow! Let's sabotage..."

* * *

Author's Notes:

**[1] **For those of you who don't remember, in _Total Drama, Drama, Drama, Drama Island, _Duncan sprained his ankle, and Courtney decided to leave him behind, since she had the million dollars, and didn't want to be slowed down.

**[2] **In the World Tour episode _The Ex-Files, _Duncan attempted to sincerely apologize to Courtney for about two seconds. Courtney kicked him where it hurts, and didn't let him finish.

**[3] **This scene was inspired by the Total Drama Action episode _Top Dog, _where Duncan totally goes nuts in the forest. Courtney manages to turn him back to normal by kissing him.

* * *

**Elimination Order: **Izzy, Lindsay, Anne Maria.

**Remaining Contestants:**

**The Fanon Fixers: **Heather, Harold, Jerome, Leshawna, Noah, Owen, Sierra, Trent.

**The Sue Crew: **Bridgette, Cameron, Duncan, Gwen, Mike, Pablo, Viktoriya, Zoey.

**The Shipping Sailors: **Cody, Courtney, Jo, Justin, Tyler.

* * *

Wow, that was a lot to write! I know this wasn't the funniest chapter, but I really wanted to focus more on the action, drama, and character development. Anne Maria being the first member eliminated from her team most likely didn't shock anyone, but perhaps her being asked out by Justin did! Actually, Anne Maria giving Justin her last beauty product, Anne Maria getting eliminated, and Justin asking her out right before she leaves; all of those moments were moments I thought up many months ago. In comparison, almost everything else in this chapter is an idea I came up with over the last two weeks. All in All, it wasn't as hard to write as I thought, which is why I finished it earlier than expected.

Since a major theme of this story is Courtney's redemption and repentance, I wanted her to go from using her lawyers for selfish gain, to using her lawyers to help others on the show. She will do this a few other times in this story. And the fact she went from abandoning an injured Duncan, to saving an injured Duncan was an unintentional parallel, but it works! It shows how much she has changed! Anyways, see ya next time!

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: The alliance between Pablo, Jo, and Viktoriya decides to target one of the members of the Fanon Fixer's with the highest consistent rankings throughout the show! Meanwhile, Duncan is not happy with Gwen telling him what he can and can't do. And Jo continues to work with Tyler and enjoys it more than expected! And to top it all off, we're doing a challenge taken from _Total Drama Returns! _Which one will it be? Tune in next time to find out.


	8. Episode Four, Part 1

Time to respond to reviews. Brace yourself for a ton of sentences beginning with 'I'm glad.'

**sledie258:** I really love Anne-MariaXJustin too. Also, while Gwen is _extremely_ frustrated with Duncan, she certainly doesn't hate him (if she did, she wouldn't try to make their relationship work).**  
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**RedEyedWarrior:** I had a feeling that you would like the Total Drama Returns episode. Yeah, there is tons of potential for drama with Zoke, but Cameron is a great mediator between them. The Shipping Sailors did very well in the last chapter (I didn't explicity state this, but Jo, Courtney, and Tyler got through the entire challenge without getting hit by a paintball.) I'm glad that Courtney saving Duncan shocked you. Also, Duncan may become friends with Courtney later, when he becomes less of a jerk, but at the moment he's too busy feuding with Gwen. And you can look forward to lots of Gwuncan drama in the next two episodes (or in the next four or five chapters or so). I'm glad that the alliance is entertaining you. Also my habit of saying 'I'm Glad' seems to have rubbed off on you. Lol. Enjoy this chapter**  
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**Potterpalgirl123:** Yeah, Duncan manged to go one step forward by forgiving and apologizing to Courtney, only to take two steps back due to his growing intrest in Viktoriya. The conflict between Mike and Zoey is going to be interesting, and like the other feuding couple in this story there will be problems on both sides. Pablo and friends are gonna start their latest scheme in this chapter, so hopefully you will enjoy this update.**  
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**tdroti scott's bff:** I'm not sure if Brick has feelings for Jo, but I have a feeling that Brick would feel bad for Tyler, since Jo is trying to manipulate Tyler in the same way she tried to manipulate Brick. Duncan and Gwen will have to 'go out for coffee' as long as they have problems with their relationship (so another few episodes). I love the fourth wall breaking in the last chapter too, since it was basically where most of the comedy came from. I'm glad you thought my last chapter was great! Be sure to enjoy this one! **  
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**NerdyBarista: **Oh yes, Pablo has something nasty in store for Mike (Which is why I put some foreshadowing of Pablo taking an interest in Mike in chapters three & four), something that won't be fully revealed until _much _later in the story. Sierra managed to sum up Trent's character, but this is Sierra we're talking about; she knows the entire cast inside-out! Harold' camp was my favorite joke from the last chapter, and was blatantly borrowed from TV Tropes. I'm glad that Courtney standing up for Duncan surprised you too! I thought that it wouldn't have shocked people since she was willing to forgive Duncan back in chapter three, but I guess I was wrong...

I'm glad you liked my call-back to one of your favorite TDA moments (Incidentally, _Top Dog _is one of my overall favorite Total Drama Action episodes). Even though I try to load this story with tons of callbacks both explicit and subtle, that Anne Maria callback was one hundred percent unintentional; but hey, it works! I do believe that Justin and Anne-Maria have tons of potential chemistry; I'd love for them to hook up on the actual show, but I highly doubt that either of them will get much screentime in future seasons. I also felt that I had no choice but to break the fourth wall during that Bridgette moment; even though she got to participate in the challenge, the surfer girl didn't get a single line of dialogue last chapter. Considering that Bridgette is my favorite female contestant, I should really give her more to do in this story! XD Unfortunately, Gwen is becoming more like Courtney (and will continue to become more like her), so her relationship with Duncan is tragically on thin ice. Hopefully you will like this chapter; I didn't do too much with the challenge, but I made sure to throw in some moments inspired by Cheesebub's excellent fic.

Now, on to the main event:

Episode Four: Total Drama Returns, Part 1

* * *

"_Last time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater…"_ Chef narrates.

_"We had an epic Western style paintball shoot-out, and there was more drama then ever!_

_The stress on the relationship between Duncan and Gwen increased when the delinquent started taking interest in Viktoriya. A simliar problem happend with Mike and Zoey when Manitoba Smith started flirting with Viktoriya. Seriously! That girl knows how to keep the drama coming!_

_But she's not the only one! Pablo managed start an aliance with Viktoriya and Jo! Their plan to make sure that the Fanon Fixers lose worked like a charm, thanks to Viktoriya's paintball skills and Pablo's sabatoge. Jo also started to develop feelings for Tyler when she tried to manipulate him!_

_Ultimately, Anne Maria was the first member of the Fanon Fixers to take a ride in the Lame-o-sine. Yeah, pretty much everybody saw that coming! But what they didn't see coming was that at the last minute, Justin started a relationship with Anne Maria! _

_There are only twenty-one contestants left! Will the alliance between Pablo, Jo, and Viktoriya be able to ensure that the Fanon Fixers lose again? Will Gwuncan and Zoke last? And will Bridgette actually get a line of dialouge in this chapter? Find out right here, right now on: Total. Drama. Fan-Fiction Theater!"_

* * *

The 21 remaining contestants were surprised that DJ didn't make them breakfast this morning! Instead, there was a note in the kitchen that said:

_Chef told me not to make breakfast for you, and instead give you supplies to make cereal for yourselves. Not quite sure why, but Chef said it had something to do with today's challenge. Hopefully you guys will still have a great morning!_

_-__**D**__evon __**J**__oseph _

The remaining contestants then noticed a buffet that featured fifteen different types of cereal and 10 gallons of milk and two cartons of almond milk. Each contestant grabbed a bowl and made their way down the buffet. (Yay for unintentional rhyming!)

Bridgette (who got a bowl of organic granola) sat down across from Viktoriya (who got a bowl of Wheaties**[1]**). The surfer girl said "So, you and Pablo huh? How was your date last night?"

Viktoriya looked up and said "Huh? Oh that! Well…."

* * *

Flashback:

_Last night at the Vietnamese restaurant, after Pablo told his alliance members who they should target next, he said "OK, now for another strategy I need to discuss with you; I need to make myself even more likable to protect myself from elimination. So I'm thinking about starting a relationship with someone. That way nobody will want to vote off poor Pablo and his girlfriend."_

_Jo smirked "Nice strategy kid. Who you gonna ask?"_

"_That's a good question." Pablo responded. "Most of the girls here are already dating; I know! You're not dating anybody Jo, so…"_

"_WHAT?!" Jo yelled. "No way!"_

_Pablo smirked. "Why? Do you have a crush on someone else?"_

_Jo looked really surprised. "Wha? How did you know?"_

"_I read the last chapter." Pablo said, once again proving how fragile the fourth wall is in this story. Pablo then continued. "So if you're off the menu Jo, then how about… Viktoriya?"_

_Viktoriya looked super surprised. "Why me?"_

_Pablo smirked. "Well for one, you are my type of woman; beautiful, smart, strong, with gorgeous blonde hair. Also, this provides major benefit to __**you **__Viktoriya. Right now, you're the most hated member on our team. But if you started dating poor little pathetic Pablo, then our teammates might think better of you."_

_Viktoriya sighed. "Pablo, you are a great ally for this show, and an excellent schemer, but you would make a __**terrible **__boyfriend. You're sneaky, conniving, and deceitful; I wouldn't be able to trust you."_

_Pablo's smirk faded away. "Well….we could always just __**pretend **__to date. That accomplishes the same strategic goal."_

_Viktoriya frowned. "I'll…..I'll think about it."_

_End Flashback_

* * *

Viktoriya wasn't quite sure how to answer Bridgette's question. "Um, the date was fine, but I'm not sure if Pablo is my type of guy."

Duncan, who had grabbed some Coco Pebbles, sat down and chuckled. "HeHeHe. I told you that you could do _**so **_much better than that scrawny little wimp, sweethear-"

"**Ahem. **_Duncan." _Gwen said to her boyfriend.

Duncan then facepalmed. "Crap, I forgot."

* * *

Confessional:

Gwen: Last night I told Duncan that if he wanted to keep dating me, then he wouldn't be allowed to hang out with Viktoriya. (Gwen sighed) I know that's a bit extreme, but Duncan flat out told me last night that he was attracted to Viktoriya! (A few tears started flowing out of Gwen's eyes) I love Duncan so much; I just hope he still loves me….

*Static*

Duncan: Ugh, Gwen told me last night I can't even dine next to Viktoriya! Why? Because I think Viktoriya is hot? (Duncan pauses, and realizes what he had just said) Actually, that's a good reason, but still! I don't like being told what to do!

* * *

Duncan got up and sat next to Gwen, who ended up sitting across from Jerome and Cody. Both of them were eating BBQ Rib Munchies.

"There's a _BBQ rib_ flavored cereal?" Gwen said, lampshading the bizarre cereal I made up off the top of my head. "That doesn't sound like it would taste good."

"You're right Gwen." Jerome told the Goth. "This cereal doesn't taste _good_; it tastes _fantastic!"_

Cody, who didn't even pour milk on his bowl, nodded his head in agreement. "You're so right Jerome! They taste exactly like BBQ-flavored chips!"

"Wow, that sounds **so **appetizing." Gwen said sarcastically.

* * *

Justin was eating a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats with almond milk. Next to him was Courtney, who had a bowl of Apple-Jacks. Justin had a dreamy look on his face. Courtney chuckled. "So...you and that Anne Maria girl; I never would have thought!"

Justin sighed in a positive manner. "Yeah! She's great! Last night, she texted me some beauty tips. It's like I finally found someone who understands me!"

Courtney smiled. "Well that's fantastic!"

Justin looked at the C.I.T. and said "So how about you? Is there someone here you are interested in?"

Courtney was staring at Cody, who was calling his BBQ Rib Munchies the King of Breakfast Cereals. She giggled, before answering Justin's question. "Huh? Oh, umm...I'm not really interested in dating right now."

* * *

Meanwhile, Cameron, Mike, and Zoey were all sitting together; with Cameron eating Multi-Grain Cheerios, Mike eating Frosted Flakes, and Zoey eating an organic knock-off of Coco-Puffs, made with real coca-beans. Cameron got up to use the restroom, but Zoey said "Wait Cam! Don't leave! I need you to keep Mike in check!"

Cameron frowned. "Zoey, I think you're getting paranoid. I doubt that Mike will suddenly lose his shirt or that a fedora will randomly fall right out of the sky…"

Meanwhile above the craft services tent, there was a plane that was falling out of the sky. "Dude!" Said one of the plane pilots, "We're falling right out of the sky! We gotta drop the load!" The pilot then pushed a button that dropped all the luggage out of the plane.**[2]** And for the sake of drama, one the suitcases opened as it was falling down, which caused a fedora to fall down through the craft services tent and land on Mike's head.

Manitoba Smith took over and pulled out a lasso from nowhere. He then lassoed Viktoriya and pulled her over to his table. "Fancy meeting you here Shelia!"

Cameron quickly took the fedora off of Manitoba's head, giving Mike control of his body. Mike quickly noticed that both Zoey and Viktoriya were glaring at him. Viktoriya broke out of the ropes and slapped Mike in the face, calling him a freak.

Cameron sighed. It looked like he would have to stay by Mike and Zoey for a while.

* * *

The last three people in line for breakfast were Pablo, Owen, and Jo. There were only two boxes of cereal and one gallon of milk left at this point. Pablo couldn't figure out if he wanted to try out Honey-Nut Cheerios, Golden Grahams, or Cookie Crisps. Owen was getting very impatient with the Brazilian boy. Jo smirked and yelled "Come on Pablo! We don't have all day! We want to experience the taste sensation of these boxes of super sweet breakfast cere-"

Jo's rant caused Owen to get even hungrier, exactly how Jo and Pablo planned. This led to Owen shoving Pablo out of the way, and swallowing the three boxes breakfast cereals whole. The boxes got lodged in Owen's throat, so the gassy giant quickly grabbed the gallon of milk and drank the entire thing to wash down the boxes. In fifteen seconds Owen had completely demolished the buffet.

Pablo's eyes started to tear up. "Owen...I wanted to try breakfast cereal for the first time! Now I won't get a balanced breakfast, just like I never do back at home.." Pablo then burst into crocodile tears. Every other contestant glared at Owen.

"Not cool!" Jerome told Owen. "Pablo needs a good breakfast more then anybody here!"

"Yeah!" Heather said in agreement. "And out of all the contestants, you're the one who doesn't need to eat that much food!"

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: (Chuckles) Yeah, my alliance is now focusing on Owen. He's a very specific type of player: He's so nice and friendly that he doesn't make any enemies, which guarantees him a spot in the merge each season. And that's _my _strategy! I can't pull it off as successfully if everybody still loves Owen. But I'll make sure that by the end of the day, every contestant here will **despise **that gluttonous swine! (Pablo then laughs evilly)

* * *

Bridgette gave Pablo her bowl of Granola. "Here Pablo, you need this more than I." Pablo quickly gobbled up the remainder of the organic granola.

Jo sighed. The plan to sabotage Owen may have worked, but now she didn't have any breakfast! At least not until Tyler went up to her and said "Hey Jo. I was about to eat this bowl of Cheerios, but it looks like you need it more."

Jo looked really surprised. "Are you sure Tyler?"

Tyler nodded. "Athletes like us need to stick together and help one another! Besides, even without breakfast, I still have mad skillz!"

Jo smiled as she took the bowl away from Tyler. Meanwhile, Harold (Who was eating Captain Crunch) was sitting across from Heather (Who was eating the same Organic Granola that Bridgette got earlier). Harold then spoke up. "Did you know that the first manufactured cereal was called 'Granula' and was invented by James Caleb Jackson in the 19th century?"

Heather rolled her eyes a bit and said "No and I didn't want to know."

Harold frowned "I'm just trying to be friendly and share my numerous facts with you, Gosh!"

Heather sighed. Recently Harold had been trying to befriend her, and she found him slightly annoying. But at the same time, he was one of the only members of the Fanon Fixers who liked Heather; with her crush Jerome being the only other. She was thinking about starting an alliance with the two of them, but putting up with Harold might be a bit much for her.

All of a sudden, Chef walked into the tent. "I hope you enjoyed your cereal as much as Geoff does in _Total Drama Returns_, cause that's where we will be taking today's challenge from. Follow me outside."

* * *

The contestants noticed the slot machine was out there yet again. Noah couldn't help but lampshade "Wow, we are using that thing _again? _Helmet 798 must be running out of ideas."

"Nah, he still has tons of different challenges planned." Chef said, standing in for myself. "But this is a great way to randomly pair up contestants for today's challenge: The Gagvertisements! You see, chapters twenty-five through twenty-seven of _Total Drama Returns _feature a challenge where each contestant must make their own product and then shoot a commercial for it. Since the Shipping Sailors have less members, we will divide up the teams into three smaller groups to make things fair." Chef then went over to the giant slot machine.

Chef started with the Shipping Sailors. The slot machine paired up Cody & Courtney and Tyler & Jo. This meant that Justin would have to do the challenge by himself.

Chef then moved on to the Fanon Fixers. The slot machine decided to pair up Sierra and Trent. After that, it decided to make Owen, Noah, and Jerome a trio for the challenge. This meant that the last group consisted of Harold, Heather, and Leshawna.

Finally, Chef moved on to the Sue Crew. The slot machine paired up Bridgette and Gwen. After that, it decided that Mike, Cameron, and Duncan would work on the challenge as a trio. This meant that the last group consisted of Pablo, Viktoriya, and Zoey. This greatly pleased Pablo.

"All right, now that you got your groups, here are your instructions." Chef said. "You have until 5:00 P.M. to make a product and shoot a commercial for it." Chef gave each group a video-camera and a lap-top to do some film editing. "At 5:00 P.M. we will screen all of the commercials at the theater, to be judged by me, Scott, and Chris. Understand?" The remaining contestant understood. "All right, then get going!"

Tyler was pumped up! "All right, with all that exposition out of the way, we can start the challenge!" Tyler paused. "Wait, is Helmet 798 going to stop the chapter right here?"

Noah looked down below him. "Yup."

Tyler pouted. "Crap."

* * *

Author Notes:

**[1] **For those of you who don't know, the slogan of Wheaties is that 'It's the breakfast of champions.' Seemed like the perfect cereal for Viktoriya.

**[2] **This strange moment is a reference to the season three Spongebob Squarepants episode: _Club Spongebob. _And the whole concept of randomly inserting a Spongebob reference in a Total Drama story is an homage_/_in-joke to _ForteKham6_17. He has written a number of funny Total Drama fics, and he often throws in lots of random references to other cartoons; particularly to Spongebob.

* * *

Since the last chapter had a big emphasis on Drama, Action, and Character development, I wanted to focus more on the laughs here. Also, deciding to make this episode the 'Total Drama Returns' challenge was a last minute decision. This was originally going to be a truth-or-dare challenge, but the commercial challenge from _Returns _more easily leads to the character interactions that need to happen. Thus, most of the breakfast scene was improvised, although I already planned out Gwen and Duncan's confessional about a chapter or two ago.

Anyways, I'm on a roll with updates, but this coming week is very busy on my behalf, so I probably won't update until next week at least.

Quick shout out to Nerdy Batista, who correctly predicted that the Pablo/Jo/Viktoriya alliance would target Owen! Seriously! She has a gift for predicting what will happen in my story, so if you don't want spoilers, stop reading her reviews. Lol, JK.

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: The Shipping Sailors start to live up to their name, when Cody & Courtney and Tyler & Jo work together for the challenge. Meanwhile, Harold tries to get Heather and Leshawna to stop arguing! Also, Zoey is not happy about working with Viktoriya, which pleases Pablo quite a bit. And finally, Jerome finally fulfills his destiny and makes his own BBQ sauce! Can Pablo's alliance take out Owen? Can Gwuncan or Zoke last? Can I stop breaking the fourth wall in this story? All of this, and more, in the next chapter!


	9. Episode Four, Part 2

Wow, almost fifty reviews, and I haven't even gotten to ten chapters yet! Once again, I thank all of my reviewers!

**slendie258: **I'm glad you enjoyed my last chapter, in spite of it's short length. As for the request for Heather to make it to the merge, I can't confirm or deny it, but I will say this: I have the order in which every contestant is eliminated written out in stone, so I'm not gonna change that.**  
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**RedEyedWarrior: **I certainly have no plans to stop my numerous fourth-wall breaking jokes; I just wanted to end the chapter with three questions starting with 'Can', and needed a third one. Yeah, I'm putting in several other references to the Cheesebub's hilarious story in this chapter, plus, I might do another episode based off of _Total Drama Returns_ (If only because I want to title an episode 'Total Drama Returns' RPublish-eturns). I'm glad you really like all of my pairings and interactions; I've said this before, but my favorite thing to write in Total Drama Fan-Fics is character interaction.

While it is true that there are a few people who don't like Owen (Heather, Alejandro, Courtney to an extent), all the other contestants _really_ like the chubby competitor. Take a look at the Total Drama Action _Ocean's 8 or 9, _where Owen went on a cannibalistic rampage and tried to eat his teammates, directly causing his team to lose; and in spite of that, his teammates thought that Courtney eliminating Owen was horrible and uncalled for, a testament to both the contestant's love for Owen and to Total Drama Action's poor writing. And yes, Pablo, being the story's main antagonist, is practically obligated to use the growing gap in Duncan and Gwen's relationship to his advantage. Anyways, I always enjoy your reviews and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!**  
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**Potterpalgirl123: **I'm glad you enjoyed that Spongebob reference.**  
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**ForteKham617: **I'm glad your computer was fixed! Don't worry about your late reviews; you still hold a special place in my heart, since you were the very first person to follow, fave, and review this story! Wow, I'm glad you really enjoyed the character development I wrote! Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Scott's Trauma Chair, but I felt like it would be weird if Scott was all of a sudden back to normal. Keep in mind that Scott won't stay in his trauma chair forever in this story. I'm glad you think my couples are cute; one thing I love reading in a fan-fic are cute & fluffy heartwarming moments, and the other two things I love reading are angsty, tear-jerking drama and laugh out loud comedy, so I try to put in all three of these things into this story. And, awww, I want to hug ya too for your super positive review! And I called your stories funny because they are! Your latest chapter of _Total Drama Supremacy_ made me laugh out loud several times! Anyways, I'm glad you think this story is praiseworthy, and I'm looking forward to more reviews!**  
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**Idolmaster Yamada: **This review cracks me up , since it's almost _exactly_ like my reivews for ForteKham617's stories! Anyways, I'm glad you found that Spongebob reference funny. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!

**NerdyBarista: **Yes, I really wanted to put in several references to the Cheesebub's great story, and since I do rather like breakfast cereals (although certainly not as much as Geoff in _Total Drama Returns_!) I felt like I had no choice but to make breakfast a cereal feast. Yes Pablo could become truly powerful if he continued to read every chapter, but that might turn him into a boring invincible villain, so it most likely will be a one-off gag. Viktoriya pretending to date Pablo could be a viable strategy, if Viktoriya was OK with it. And while I really really love BBQ Ribs, I do think it would _not _make for an appetizing breakfast cereal. It's true that Zoey and Mike are relying a bit too much on Cameron to help them with their relationship.

Yeah, the Shipping Sailors are _sort of_ living up to their name, but in many aspects, their team name is something of an artifact from my original idea for the team where every contestant had a romantic interest of some sort within the team. Of course, I'll go into more detail about that in the Trivia chapter, after this story is complete! And yes, the universe loves to pair up Trent and Sierra since the "universe" doesn't have a lot of ideas for either of them for this story (well, Trent will get to do something quite interesting in episode six, several chapters from now). And even though Heather is supposed to be a lot nicer in this story, she's still _Heather. _She's always thinking about dem alliances.

Pablo's plan will be revealed in this chapter, and I really liked the final lines of my last chapter too, which I came up with since I noticed a pattern in my writing for this story: Each episode is divided into two parts, part one which is exposition, and part two which is the actual challenge. Actully, this last week wasn't nearly as busy as I thought, but I did have a minor case of writer's block, which is why I feel like this chapter is so late. Anyways, I always enjoy your reviews and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!

**DEDEBUG9: **I'm super glad you really like this! :D

Anyways with that wall of text out of the way, on to the main event:

Episode Four: Total Drama Returns, Part 2

* * *

Pablo, Viktoriya, and Zoey decided to come up with ideas for the challenge.

"I know!" Pablo said. "Let's make our own paintball guns and make a thrilling commercial!"

Viktoriya frowned. "But we already did a paintball challenge last episode. How about a completely original idea?"

Zoey responded "You know, there's no such thing as a completely original idea. Everything has already been done in the past."

Viktoriya rolled her eyes and said "Don't give me that post-modern hipster bull crap."

Zoey quirked an eyebrow. "Post-modern? I alluding to the book of Ecclesiastes.**[1]**"

Viktoriya responded with a simple "Whatever."

Zoey then said "The more I think about it, Pablo's idea makes sense! What if we shot a commercial at the War movie set? Considering that Chef supposedly fought in a war, I think he would enjoy it."

Viktoriya smirked. "That's not a bad idea. But how do we make paintball guns?"

Pablo smiled. "I have an idea for that. Anyways, Zoey! How about you go to the wardrobe department and find us good costumes for the commercial? Viktoriya and I can handle construction of the paintball guns. In about thirty minutes, we can meet up at the War film set."

Zoey smiled. "What a great idea Pablo! See ya soon!" Zoey went off to the wardrobe department.

When Zoey was out of ear-shot, Pablo turned to Viktoriya. "Have you thought about my offer? Do ya want to pretend to date?"

Viktoriya sighed. "I've thought about it, and I don't even want to _pretend _to date you Pablo. You're a scrawny little boy who doesn't have any money, which probably means you can't get a job. I feel like dating you would make me look like a….._loser._"

Pablo sighed. "Are you sure Viktoriya? After all, if our team loses then they'll vote off-"

"**We will NEVER LOSE!" **Viktoriya shouted. "As long as I'm on this team, we will never be losers!"

Pablo frowned, before smiling. "If you insist. Anyways, on to those paintball guns. If we can find some water guns and fill them with paint, we would have instant paintball guns. So how about this: You get some water-guns and I'll get the paint."

Viktoriya smirked. "And while you're separated from us, you can…"

"…Sabotage Owen, Exactly as planned." Pablo finished as he smirked for the fiftieth time in this fan-fic.

Viktoriya went off to find some water guns, while Pablo went over to the kitchen.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jerome, Noah, and Owen were getting ready for the challenge.

"All right guys." Jerome told his teammates. "I have a great idea for a product that we can make."

"Gee, I wonder what it could be." Noah said in his typical deadpan matter.

"I'll make my own BBQ sauce!" Jerome exclaimed.

"Woo-hoo! Great idea Jerome!" Owen said excitedly.

"Not a bad idea." Noah said. "If we are gonna do this though, we will need ingredients."

"Well then, let's go to the kitchen." Jerome said. And with that, the trio made there way to the craft services tent.

Pablo was in the kitchen, putting a note for DJ on the refrigerator. Right after doing so, Pablo heard the trio about to enter the area. The Brazilian boy quickly dashed out of the room.

"So, Mr. BBQ Sauce Gourmand..." Noah told Jerome. "...What will we need to make the sauce?"

Jerome thought for a moment. "We will need Tomato paste, molasses, honey, garlic..." Jerome paused and thought a little more. "Chipotle, jalapenos, onions, sugar, and some other spices."

Conveniently enough, Owen opened a cupboard and found every single thing Jerome listed. "Ooo! That jalapeno looks goooood." Owen was about to eat the pepper, but Noah slapped Owen's hand.

"Look Chubby Buddy." Noah told him. "We're gonna need all these ingredients for the challenge."

Noah then took the Tomato paste, molasses, honey, garlic, chipotle, jalapenos, sugar, onions, and other assorted spices to Jerome. "OK, so how are we going to make the sauce Jerome?"

Jerome was deep in thought. After thinking for two minutes, he opened his mouth and said "It depends. Should I make a sweeter BBQ sauce or go for something spicier?"

"Dude, just pick one." Noah responded.

"I can't! Both of the sauces have their major pros and cons! It's such a difficult decision!"

Noah rolled his eyes. "Wow, if it's _that_ difficult a choice, then why don't you make two different BBQ sauces?"

Jerome grinned from ear to ear. "That's a great idea Noah! I'll make a Honey BBQ sauce _and_ a Firey Hot BBQ sauce! Now let's get a cooking!"

Jerome put a pot on the stove, and started giving instructions to Noah and Owen. Meanwhile DJ came into the kitchen, and decided to get started on lunch. DJ noticed the note that Pablo put on the fridge. DJ read the note aloud. "To DJ; For today's lunch make a quadruple bean chili for all the campers." DJ scratched his head in slight confusion. "That's weird; Chef usually let's me choose what to make for lunch... But I better do it, for the sake of the plot."

* * *

Cody and Courtney were both glad to be working on the challenge together. Cody asked the C.I.T. "So what should our commercial be about?"

Courtney thought for a moment. "What if I did a commercial for my Lawyers? They would appreciate the free publicity?"

Cody smiled. "Good idea! That way we don't have to waste time making a product. So want kind of commercial should we make?"

Courtney thought a moment. "Maybe a semi-serious commercial with a hint of comedy?"

Cody said "Great idea Court. Here, let me set up the laptop." Cody pulled out the laptop that Chef gave each group, and started typing up potential ideas for the commercials. Courtney looked over them, and frequently laughed at several of Cody's jokes. Cody was glad that Courtney appreciated the skills he brought to the team.

* * *

Bridgette was talking to Gwen; was drawing in her sketch-book. "So I was thinking about doing a commercial for surfing supplies. It's what I'm good at and...Gwen, are you listening to me?"

Gwen looked up "Oh..uh...sure!"

Bridgette realized that Gwen was drawing in her sketch-notebook. "What are you drawing?"

Gwen frowned. "Oh! Nothing! Nothing at all..."

Bridgette snatched her friend's sketch book and took a look at what she was drawing. Gwen had drawn a picture of Viktoriya falling into a pool of sharks. "Wow Gwen... I know that Viktoriya can be really annoying, but this is really...mean-spirited."

Gwen frowned. "Well you wouldn't be saying that if your boyfriend was in love with her..." Gwen started crying a little.

Bridgette, in an attempt to comfort Gwen, hugged her. "Look, I know how it feels to be jealous, but it will only make things worse."

Gwen responded "I can't help it! I'm afraid that Duncan doesn't love me anymore!"

Bridgette said "Don't assume the worse Gwen! He's still dating you, isn't that prove enough that he still wants to be with you?"

Gwen sighed. "Maybe...Anyway, let's get back to the challenge; If we're doing a surfing commercial, then we should go to the beach set right?"

Bridgette smiled. "Good idea!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jo and Tyler were already getting ready to shoot their commercial. They were at the sport movie set. Tyler was filming himself dribbling a basketball and trying to perform a slam dunk. Emphasis on the _trying _to. The jock yelled "To the extreme!" as he ran from one side of the court to the other, leaping up to perform a slam dunk. Unfortunately, Tyler missed the basketball hoop, and fell down with a thud. Tyler got right back up and tried again. Only to fail again. Tyler repeated this process for five minutes straight.

Jo couldn't handle it anymore and yelled "Tyler! Stop doing that! Let me help you!"

Tyler frowned. "I can handle this! You know what they say: No pain, no gain! I'll just keep on learning from my failures until I can pull off the slam dunk!" Tyler then tripped and fell flat on his face. Jo smiled a bit. She found his persistence in spite of his clumsiness to be amusing, not to mention endearing and oddly...cute. Jo then frowned when I typed the word 'cute.'

Jo sighed. "Remember what I told you last episode? You have to take your time, and work on your technique!" Jo grabbed the basketball. "First off, do the slam dunk right next to the hoop. Next, position yourself and aim carefully!" Jo went up to the hoop and demonstrated. "Finally, jump and slam dunk!" Jo jumped up and successfully pulled off a slam dunk.

Tyler looked really impressed. "Awesome! Those were some wicked tips bro!" Jo frowned at being called a 'bro'. Tyler followed Jo's instructions. He carefully positioned himself, aimed, and leaped into the air. Unfortunately, because of Tyler's strong fingers, once he brought down his fingers onto the hoop to slam dunk, he inadvertently brought down the basketball hoop, causing it to fall down on the clumsy jock.

Jo sighed. She went up to the video camera and turned it off. They had to figure out a different sport to do for the commercial.

* * *

Meanwhile, Duncan, Cameron, and Mike were trying to come up with ideas for their commercial. Duncan sighed. "I don't really know how to make much, other then fires."

Cameron thought for a moment. "Well, what about your carving skills? You could use your knife to carve various statues out of wood, and we could do a commercial for that."

Duncan quirked an eyebrow. "Not a bad idea...but wooden carvings aren't exactly the most exciting product we could advertize."

Mike responded "Well, even with a boring product, we could still make an exciting commercial. Insurance companies can make entertaining commercials about something as boring as insurance."

Cameron smiled. "Well then, let's brainstorm ideas."

* * *

Meanwhile, Courtney and Cody were at the spy movie set, shooting their commercial. Cody held up the movie camera and filmed Courtney's first scene. "Have you ever spilled your coffee on your lap? Have you been unfairly kicked off of a reality TV show? Have you ever had your house blown up by a criminal mastermind?" After Courtney says this, a house in the background of the set blows up. "Well then the Law Firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Strauss **can** help! **[2]**"

Cody stopped filming. "Cut! First scene done, great job Courtney!" Courtney then grabbed the video camera from Cody, and looked over her performance.

The C.I.T. frowned as she re-watched her performance. "What are you talking about? I did a bad job acting here! The way I emphasized the word 'can' in bold letters was weird! My performance wasn't believable, let's do another take!"

Cody sighed. "Are you sure, your take looked fine to me..."

"Well it didn't look fine to _me_!" Courtney retorted. "Let's do take two!"

Cody sighed again, and started filming once again.

* * *

Meanwhile Harold was attempting to come up with a commercial idea. But this was not an easy task because Leshawna and Heather were bickering as usual.

"I still can't believe I have to work with ya!" Leshawna told the queen bee. "We're gonna lose again thanks to you!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Heather.

"It's your fault we lost the challenge last episode, since you paired me up with Anne Maria!"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Right, _I _was the one who starting arguing with Anne Maria and decided to start a mini-paintball fight with her because of it."

Leshawna frowned. "Girl, are you asking for a beating?"

"Are you serious?" Heather asked. "Are you gonna knock out another tooth just because I told you the truth?"

Leshawna smirked. "Maybe, that was the only positive highlight of season three for me!"

Heather frowned. "Really? Cause it was totally uncalled for! Seriously, I was just trying to warn you about Alejandro's scheming because I thought we had become friends in season two! Beating up your friend to the point of losing a tooth is kind of a horrible thing to do!"

Leshawna sighed. "We weren't friends at that point! Look, I was grateful that you stood up for me back in season two, but that was because I thought you had changed! But afterwards, seeing you feuding with Gwen, made me realize you hadn't changed at all! You'll still mean for the sake of being mean! And not to mention what you did to Alejandro!"

Heather frowned again. "What?! That jerk totally had his comeuppance coming!"

"Maybe so!" Leshawna agreed. "But you used the exact same tactics that he had used all season! It shows you still haven't changed! Not to mention, thanks to you, Alejandro was horribly disfigured and he's **still **recovering from it! That's a pretty disproportionate punishment that you gave him!"

Heather snapped "Well knocking out my frickin' tooth for trying my best to help you is a **much worse** case of disproportionate punishment you hypocrite!"

Leshawna scowled. "I'm just trying to convey one of the most important themes in this fan-fic!"

Heather frowned. "Well another important theme in this fan-fic is forgiveness! When the frick are you gonna forgive me Leshawna?"

"When you stop acting evil!" Leshawna snapped back.

"I haven't done a single evil thing since this season started!" Heather truthfully retorted. "While I was helping our team and making new friends, you were spending all your time feuding with Anne Maria!"

Leshawna scowled and tried to attack Heather. But Harold stepped into between the two bickering girls and tried to calm them down. "Leshawna, stop picking a fight with Heather! All the time spent arguing, could be spent doing the actual challenge, Gosh!"

Leshawna blinked. "Did you side with _Heather?_"

Harold nodded. "Yes, yes I did. Now can I request that we do a commercial for my Nintendo 3DS?"

Both Heather and Leshawna sighed, and responded with a "Sure, why not?"

* * *

Pablo, Viktoriya, and Zoey met up at the War film set. Zoey had brought several Military uniforms from the wardrobe department, as well as make-up for war paint. Meanwhile, Viktoriya found a few water guns and filled them with paint that Pablo brought. Also, Viktoriya managed to find a few leftover paintball guns from the last challenge. However, before they got a chance to start shooting their commercial, Chef announced via the speaker system that lunch was served. Viktoriya and Zoey went off to the craft services tent, while Pablo went off to 'use the restroom'. Well, that's what the Brazilian boy told Zoey. In reality, Pablo was going off to find Owen. Pablo stumbled upon Jerome, Noah, and Owen getting ready to film their BBQ sauce commercial. Jerome had just finished making buffalo wings for the commercial.

"Come on guys!" Owen complained to his teammates. "Why can't I have a teensy taste of those BBQ sauces?"

"Because you're _you_." Noah deadpanned. "You have zero control over your appetite. You'd most likely gobble them up before we even got a chance to shoot the commercial. Besides, it's lunch time; we can grab some food right now."

"But the craft services tent is **five **minutes away from here!" Owen shouted melodramatically. "Can't we bring some wings for the trip?"

"A five minute walk doesn't exactly qualify for a trip Owen." Noah said in his signature sarcastic tone.

Pablo, who was watching this scene play out while hiding in a bush, smirked. The Brazilian boy pulled out a bottle of '_Desperado, the Fragrance of Last Resort_' and sprayed the perfume towards Owen.**[3] **

Once the scent reached Owen nose, the gassy giant snapped! "OWEN HUNGRY! OWEN DASH!" Owen, in his amplified hunger, dashed off at the speed of sound towards the craft services tent. Owen stormed in, being the first contestant to arrive for lunch. He looked over, and saw DJ carrying a **huge **pot of quadruple bean chili. Owen pushed DJ to the ground and quickly began gobbling up the chili.

By the time that (with two exceptions) all the other contestants arrived, Owen had completely devoured the entire pot of chili! Heather frowned and said "What's going on here?!"

DJ sighed. "Sorry guys, but Owen just devoured the lunch I made for everybody!"

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: The first part of my plan to take out Owen went exactly as planned. (Pablo chuckles) Just wait until the Fanon Fixers get a whiff of part two! (Pablo then started chuckling again, which develops into a sinister evil laugh)

* * *

This did not go over well with the other contestants. "What?!" Exclaimed Harold. "Owen, why did you eat all of _our _food! I mean, GOSH!"

Leshawna nodded her head in agreement. "It's bad enough that you gobbled up the rest of breakfast before Pablo and Jo got some, but now **none of us** have anything to eat for lunch!"

Owen put down the empty pot. "Well it's not my fault I got super hungry! Besides, that chili wasn't that filling anyway, I'm still feeling famished! So famished...So _very _famished..."

All of a sudden the gassy giant scooped up Cameron, who looked like a Corn-Dog according Owen's hallucinated mind, and almost ate him! Everybody screamed, but luckily, Chef stormed in the room and shot Owen with a tranquilizer gun. Owen passed out. Chef sighed. "That was too close!"

Mike couldn't help but ask "Why do you have a tranquilizer gun with you?"

Chef responded "Well, I always carried one with me back in season four, just in case I ran into a mutated animal. Looks like I'm still doing it out of habit, but I'm glad I did!"

* * *

Chef ordered a few pizzas from a nearby restaurant. After making sure that all the contestants had food for lunch, the chef turned host ordered the interns to wire Owen's mouth shut while he was unconscious.

Bridgette and Gwen looked super nervous as they ate their slices of veggie pizza. Courtney noticed and said "Hey, did something happen to you two?"

Bridgette and Gwen both looked at each other. At the same time they responded "Nope, nothing!"

Courtney didn't looked convinced. "Are you sure, it looks like something really bad happened to you! In fact, is that a band-aid on your arm Bridgette?"

Bridgette quickly retorted "Maybe, but I didn't get it while shooting the commercial!"

Jo, Cody, and Tyler were dining next to Bridgette. Cody noticed Bridgette's suspiciously specific denial. "Looks like Helmet 798 is setting up a brick joke..."

Tyler looked confused. "But Brick isn't competing in this season!"

Jo face palmed at Tyler misunderstanding a literary trope.

Meanwhile, Duncan was barely eating his slice of pepperoni pizza, since he was too busy carving a wooden statue of Viktoriya's head. Pablo noticed and said "Hey Duncan, watcha doing?"

Duncan responded "For my commercial, I'm gonna be selling wooden replicas of various contestants' heads."

Pablo looked confused. "What would you use them for?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Duncan retorted, since he felt frustrated that he wasn't sure what his commercial was gonna be yet. Gwen noticed Duncan carving an image of Viktoriya's head and frowned.

* * *

Harold was talking with Jerome about what had happened earlier. "I wish that Heather and Leshawna would stop bickering. Not only is it holding back our team, but it hurts to see the two people I like the most fighting." Harold then sighed.

Jerome gave Harold a sympathetic look as he applied his new BBQ sauce to his slice of sausage pizza. "That must bite, man; seeing your girlfriend argue with your friend."

Harold blinked. "Well actually, me and Leshawna broke up a few months ago. We're still really good friends though."

Jerome looked a little surprised. "Oh." Jerome then thought about Harold's earlier words, about liking Heather. "Wait a minute Harold...Do you "_like" _like Heather?"

Harold looked a little surprised. "Well...maybe a little. I just wish that she would notice me more."

Jerome smiled. "Well then, maybe I can help you with that!"

Harold smiled. Harold then high-fived Jerome. "Boo-yah!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Noah, eating pepperoni pizza, was sitting with Pablo, who was eating his first ever slice of three cheese pizza. "Wait a minute..." the snarky bookworm said. "...Why aren't Trent and Sierra here?"

"They're still working on their commercial." Pablo explained. "While I was walking back here, I saw them filming their commercial. From what I can tell they were working pretty hard on it."

After about ten minutes, the teens were done eating and left the craft services tent. Tyler looked super excited. "All right! After eating that delicious pizza it's time to finish...wait a minute...is Helmet 798 gonna..." Tyler looked directly below him "_Crap_."

Author Notes:

**[1] **_What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun. Can one say about anything, "Look, this is new"? It has already existed in the ages before us._ (Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 in the Holman Christian Standard Bible)

**[2] **I went back and re-watched the Total Drama Action Episode _Ocean's 8 or 9 _to make sure I got the name of Courtney's Law firm right.

**[3] **Speaking of _Ocean's 8 or 9, _there is a scene in this episode where Beth uses the roast-chicken scented perfume I mentioned to get Owen to bust out of a vault. Unfortunately this sends Owen out on a hunger-fueled rampage, in a matter similar to what happened here.

* * *

I was seriously debating whether or not I should divide this episode into three parts. But there is a lot going on in this episode (Which should happen when you're writing for 21 different contestants) and I felt like I kept you guys waiting long enough. Especially since next week I'm going out of town to visit a Campus Ministry conference. That means there won't be another update until about two weeks. Hopefully this chapter will keep you entertained until then! I didn't think I would need close to five thousand words to describe this small portion of the challenge, but I was mistake!

Even though I have the entire plot of this episode planned out in my head, writing it down can still be tricky, and the Heather & Leshawna fight is a great example of this; Heather asking Leshawna what had happened to their friendship is one of the earliest ideas I had for this story but I didn't know where to place it. Even now, I do wonder if the dialogue I had written for them could be better, but I'll leave that for the judgement of my reviewers. Anyways, thank you for reading and I'll see ya next time!

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: The fourth episode concludes as the teams finish their commercials and screen them! Meanwhile, Duncan and Gwen continue to fight; can they stay together? And what will happen when Pablo's plan to get rid of Owen gets to it's second phase; will the Fanon Fixers lose again? Plus, just what is Pablo planning for his own commercial? And finally, what will Trent and Sierra's commercial be like? Find out in our most dramatic and _Total Drama Returns _reference-filled chapter to date!


	10. Episode Four, Part 3

OK guys, I need to apologize for how late this chapter was! I wish I could say I got writer's block, but the truth is that I knew exactly what I wanted to write, but was too lazy to actually type it once I got back from my Campus Ministry Conference (Which was incredible, BTW). I just kept on procrastinating, and before you know it, it's been two months! I've decided not to respond to my reviews for this chapter, that way I can finish it sooner. But don't use that as an excuse to not review! I'll go back to writing responses to my reviews in the next chapter.

However, I do need to address one thing that a few reviewers brought up: Jerome actually doesn't have romantic feelings for Heather. He just highly respects her as a person and interprets all the attention that Heather gives him as a sign that they are really good friends (If you re-read chapter seven, note that while Heather says in a confessional she likes Jerome as more than just friends, immediately afterwards, Jerome states in his confessional that Heather is just a really good friend.) Anyways, with that out of the way, on to the long awaited chapter!

Episode Four: Total Drama Returns, Part 3

* * *

Pablo, Viktoriya, and Zoey were getting ready to shoot their commercial. Both Viktoriya and Zoey were dressed up like soldiers, and they had several paintball guns to use. However Pablo noticed they were missing something. "Wait! We don't have any protective goggles for either of you!"

"Why didn't you mention that sooner?!" Viktoriya snapped at Pablo. "We're running out of time! Guess I better go and grab some as quickly as possible." Viktoriya dashed off to find protective goggles.

Left alone with Zoey, Pablo decided to put his plan into motion. The Brazilian boy sighed deeply and put on a rather sad facial expression. This was all an act, but it was convincing enough to get Zoey to say "Pablo is something wrong?"

"Well…I just don't like it when Viktoriya is mean to me." Pablo responded sadly. "I like her a lot, and I wish deep down she would like me back…" Pablo then shed a few crocodile tears.

Zoey tried to cheer Pablo up. "Don't worry Pablo. Granted I'm not a huge fan of Viktoriya, but still, I have a feeling she has _some _feelings for you. After all, she agreed to go out with you last night, right?"

Pablo sighed. "Viktoriya told me that she only took me out on that date because she felt sorry for me." Pablo sighed once again. "She said that there was only one man for her….Mike."

"**WHAT?!" **Zoey yelled in shock.

"Whoops!" Pablo said. "I shouldn't tell you this, but Viktoriya said that she was madly in love with Mike last night." Pablo then sighed, before continuing "And she said that while she doesn't want our team to lose, if we do, she's planning on voting you out Zoey, so that she can have Mike all to herself!"

Of course this was a lie fabricated by Pablo, but Zoey bought every word that Pablo had said. Zoey was quite furious. So furious that once again, Zoey became Commando Zoey. She pulled out a headband out of her pocket and put it on. Instantly, Zoey picked up a pair of paintball guns. Pablo smirked and turned on the video camera they were given.

"Hey guys, I'm back." Viktoriya said as she arrived with two pairs of protective goggles. "Now let's start shooting-"

Zoey started firing paintballs at Viktoriya. The Russian quickly dodged her shots and yelled "What's wrong with you?!"

"Keep your filthy fingerless glove clad hands off my boyfriend!" Commando Zoey yelled over-dramatically as she continued to fire paintballs at Viktoriya.

"What are you implying? Just because your schizophrenic boyfriend can't keep his hands off me, that means I'm stealing him away? Get a reality check your moron!" Viktoriya yelled rather rudely. Zoey got so mad that she kicked Viktoriya to the ground. Zoey then smashed Viktoriya's glasses and tried to aim paintball bullets at Viktoriya's eyes. Luckily, Viktoriya rolled to the side to dodge. The Russian then quickly put on the protective goggles and grabbed two paintball guns for herself.

What ensued was an epic paintball fight between Commando Zoey and Viktoriya; a fight so epic, that I barely have words to describe it. And every minute of it was caught on camera thanks to Pablo.

* * *

Confessional:

Pablo: You know, at first I was disappointed when Viktoriya rejected my offer to date her, but now I'm glad. There are a number of strategies I can pull off if me and her aren't dating.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cody was trying to finish the commercial, but Courtney's perfectionism would not let him. "Come on Court!" Cody pleaded to the C.I.T. "You already have done this scene ten times! And all of your takes looked fine to me!"

Courtney responded "You don't understand Cody! My takes need to much more than 'fine', they need to be _perfect_! But no matter how hard I try, I can't do it!" Courtney sighed. "What if I'm not as good a competitor as I think?"

"What?!" Cody said. "Look Court, I know you're trying to be a better person by being less prideful, but humility isn't the same thing as being insecure about yourself. You have every right to be confident in your skills Courtney! You're smart, strong, and an all around great-"

Cody was cut off when Courtney hugged him. "Thanks Cody…" She said.

Cody blushed. "Heh, no problem."

Courtney continued to hug him. About ten seconds later Cody said "Uh Court, you can let go now…"

Courtney blushed. "Oh! Sure. Anyways, let's get to work on the challenge!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jerome and Noah were filming their commercial. Jerome was standing next to a table with a plate of ten Buffalo wings. Five of them had Jerome's Honey BBQ sauce while the other five had Jerome's Fiery Hot BBQ Sauce.

Noah pointed the camera at Jerome as the BBQ sauce Gourmand started speaking "The two types of BBQ sauce you need in your kitchen parallel with the two types of moments you need in your life. In life, we need those tough moments; times to endure hardships, so that we can learn to preserve through the firey trials of the world. In the same way, your tongue will learn to endure other spicy flavors when you use my Firey Hot BBQ sauce."**[1]**

Noah couldn't help but ask out loud "Dude, don't you think you're taking this commercial a bit too seriously? It's just BBQ sauce."

Jerome frowned. "It's not about the BBQ sauce Noah, it's about what the BBQ sauce represents. Don't you understand how BBQ sauce can be used for metaphors about spiritual truths in life?"

"No, because to me, BBQ sauce is just BBQ sauce." Noah deadpanned.

Jerome sighed. "I didn't expect you to understand Noah. You're always thinking with your brain."

"Because it's _totally _possible to think without a brain." Noah said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's my point!" Jerome responded. "You never try thinking with your _heart_ Noah. You always suppress your inner feelings, never allowing your emotions to guide you."

"Because being mislead by your emotions via impulsiveness is _clearly _such a better alternative." The cynic replied.

Jerome sighed. "Just film my BBQ sauce commercial, OK?"

"Did somebody say BBQ sauce?"

Noah turned around to see Owen approaching the duo. "Hey guys! I'm a lot better now! Can I help you finish your commercial?"

Noah frowned. "Actually Owen, we don't really need your help, so you can go away and do something else."

Owen frowned. "What? Do you think I'm gonna go nuts and devour those wings that Jerome made? I already ate that entire bowl of chili, and now that time has passed my stomach is full. What could go wrong?"

All of a sudden, Owen's stomach let out a rumble that was as loud as a jet engine.

"_That entire bowl of chili coming back to kill us all, that's what._" Noah said in a slightly deadpan, yet slightly seriously response to Owen's question.

Owen rolled his eyes. "Ha Ha, real funny Noah. So I'm a bit gassy, what's so bad about a far-"

Before Owen could finish his rhetorical question, his stomach started to rumble even more powerfully, which resulted in what could only be described as a mini-earthquake. The table with the wings on it started shaking like mad. Jerome gasped in horror, when he saw his bottle of Honey BBQ sauce fall off the table. Luckily Jerome managed to catch it before it hit the ground.

Noah frowned. "Look Owen, if you want to help us, then go away and bug somebody else."

"But..."

**_"BEAT IT! Before your farts kills us all and costs us the challenge!_"** Noah yelled uncharacteristically. Owen, shocked and saddened by his friend being so mad at him, ran off to bug someone else.

Noah sighed, feeling bad for losing his temper.

* * *

Confessional:

Noah: I really shouldn't have snapped at Owen like that. But between his even more out-of-control then usual appetite and him screwing up our chances at winning I couldn't help it! (Noah sighs.) It's a shame too, cause Owen isn't usually _this_ obnoxious...well except for those times that he does something stupid or farts. (After a pause Noah continues) Exactly why am I friends with him?

* * *

Jerome patted him on the back and told him "You see? You expressing your bottled up feelings to Owen saved us all from death by farts!"

Noah looked surprised at Jerome's approval. "Are you saying that it's a _good _thing I lost my temper?" He then rolled his eyes and said in a voice dripping with sarcasm "What a _wonderful_ philosophy you live your life with Jerome. There's _no_ way it could possibly come back to bite you in the butt."

Jerome frowned. "Let's get back to filming the commercial."

Noah nodded, and continued to film Jerome's monologue on how life is like BBQ sauce.

* * *

Meanwhile, Duncan had just finished carving up wooden replicas of every competitors' head. The delinquent then turned to Cameron. "There we go. So what are we going to do for the commercial."

"Ummmm…..well...I couldn't come up with any ideas." Cameron said.

"WHAT?!" Duncan shouted. "In between the two months it took to update this story, you couldn't come up with an idea?!"

"Whoa, Calm down Duncan!" Mike said, trying to calm down Duncan. "We've still got time to come up with an idea for a commercial."

All of a sudden, Chef's voice emerged from the P.A. system on the film lot, announcing "All of ya'll better be putting the finishing touches on your ads, because you will be screening them in one hour. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

"YES SIR!" Mike and Cameron yelled out in response to Chef's voice.

Duncan, in his frustration, yelled as he closed his eyes and threw a carving of Gwen's head at Cameron, hitting his face. "Ouch!"

"Oops, sorry bro." Duncan said to Cameron as he approached the bubble boy to make sure he was OK.

"Well…it's OK." Cameron said. "It didn't hurt me too bad."

A light bulb appeared over Duncan's head. Duncan smirked mischievously and pulled out some rope from his pocket. "I have an idea for the commercial!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at film set for a hockey movie, Jo was filming Tyler on the Hockey rink. Tyler's attempt to hit the puck into the goal backfired thanks to the jock's poor aim. Tyler swung his hockey stick with so much force, it slipped out of his hands, and flew right into the film camera. Jo managed to dodge it, but the camera was smashed into pieces, with only the DVD with all the footage remaining intact.

Jo sighed, this was the fourth sport that the two of them tried shooting a commercial for, but like every time, Jo would demonstrate how to properly do the sport, only for Tyler to fail every time. "Wow, I suck at being a coach."

Tyler frowned. "Don't talk like that Jo! I'm the one messing up here! You have demonstrated mad skills every time you gave me tips." Tyler snapped his fingers. "Wait a minute! That's it!" Tyler grabbed the DVD of footage, and put it in the lap-top to put some final touches on the commercial.

* * *

It was five o' clock sharp, and all the remaining contestants made their way to the theater for the last part of the challenge. When they got there, they saw that a giant screen had been set up on stage, not doubt to display the commercials for judging. Speaking of judges, they saw Scott, still in the modified Trauma chair, and a lap-top where Chris was once again video-chatting from prison. But Chef was nowhere to be found.

Fifteen minutes later, Chef showed up in the theater. "Sorry for running late. I was watching a marathon of Hannah Montan-uhhh...I mean a marathon of War movies, and I lost track of time."

Chef cleared his throat before continuing. "Now let's get this challenge started. If your commercial gets a thumbs up from at least two judges, your team gets a point. The team with the most points wins, the team with the least points loses, and the team in second gets nothing. Now then, first up for the Sue Crew is Gwen and Bridgette."

* * *

Bridgette walked up to Chef carrying a DVD with her commercial on it. With a nervous smile on her face, she told Chef "I call this: Bridgette's Surf Shop."

Chef put in the DVD. On the screen, Bridgette appeared, polishing a surfboard on the beach movie set. "Are you frustrated by those low quality surfboards that are easily worn out or broken? Well then come over to Bridgette's Surf Shop where you can buy a super durable..."

Bridgette's speech was interrupted when Fang the Mutated Shark popped out of the water and attacked her. Bridgette tried to slap away the Land-Shark, but Fang used this as an opportunity to bite her arm. Luckily, a flying object hit Fang with great force, sending him back several feet, which meant that Bridgette only recieved a medium sized cut on her arm.

The camera panned over, revealing that Gwen used the seagull-launching gun to shoot at Fang. Bridgette smiled at Gwen. "Thanks Gwen."

Gwen gasped and responded "Bridgette look out!"

Fang had recovered from being hit by the seagull and tried again to eat Bridgette. Bridgette grabbed her surfboard and used it to knock Fang back. After that she started pummeling Fang with her surfboard. After receiving twenty-one whacks from Bridgette's surfboard, Fang passed out unconscious.

Bridgette then noticed that the camera was still filming. "Ummm...my surfboards are so durable that they won't break when you use them to beat up Land-sharks." After a beat Bridgette's eyes widened and she quickly added "But don't ever do that because animal cruelty is wrong! So uhhh, shop at Bridgette's Surf Shop today."

The three judges were silent for eighteen seconds. Chef broke the silence by giving a thumb up and saying "Good job! I'd definitely buy a surfboard from you!"

Scott obviously enjoyed seeing Bridgette beat the crap out of Fang, so the TV screen on the trauma chair displayed two thumbs up.

Chris had a huge smile on his face. "That. Was. Aweeeesoooome! Seriously! Animal cruelty is always a plus as far as I'm concerned! You get a thumb up from me too!"

Chef then said "Well it's unanimous, Gwen and Bridgette earn a point for the Sue Crew."

All of the contestants in the audience were shocked at the content of Bridgette and Gwen's ad. "So that's why you have a bandage on your arm!" Courtney yelled. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

Bridgette sighed. "I didn't want anybody to worry about me. Plus, I feel super guilty for hurting that poor shark! Sure he tried to eat me, but I'm still against animal cruelty."

Courtney then turned to Chef, enraged at her friend nearly getting killed. "Why was Fang in the beach set?!"

Chef sighed. "Well, Fang is going to be part of a future challenge and I needed a place to put him, so I decided the beach set, since I didn't consider the possibility that anybody would go to the beach set because we ain't gonna visit it for a future challenge."

Courtney scowled. "Well find a place to put Fang so that all of us will be safe! You don't want me to sue the show, do ya Hatchet?"

Chef snapped his fingers. "B! Come here now!"

B quickly showed up. Chef gave him orders to make an indestructible cage to keep Fang in. B left immediately to carry out Chef's orders.

* * *

Chef then called up Courtney and Cody to present their commercial. Helmet 798 then skipped ahead to the part where the three judges gave their commercial a thumbs up, because hey, nobody complained when I did this in chapter three. Besides, I really want to get this chapter out.

"Once again, it's unanimous; Courtney and Cody earn a point for the Shipping Sailors."

"All right!" Cody and Courtney said simultaneously as they high-fived each other.

"Wow!" Justin said. "You guys are really in sync with one another!"

Courtney and Cody both blushed at Justin's statement.

* * *

"Now it's time for the Fanon Fixers to step up." Chef said. "Jerome, Noah, and Owen; let's see what you got."

Jerome stepped up onstage with pride in his eyes as he gave Chef the DVD. "This is my masterpiece: _A Tale of Two BBQ Sauces_."

Viktoriya snickered. "Wow, that's the _best _name for a commerical I've ever heard."

Jerome quickly picked up on the sarcasm in Viktoriya's tone. "So I like Charles Dickens' novels. Sue me."

Viktoriya smirked. "That's not a bad idea. I'll talk to Courtney about it."

Jerome narrowed his eyes. "You'd better keep your mouth shut before I do it for you!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

"Well I'd like to see you booted off this show in the most humiliating way possible!"

"AND I LIKE TO SEE YOU TWO MAGGOTS HUSH UP SO WE CAN GET THIS CHALLENGE OVER WITH!"

Viktoriya and Jerome, both shocked at Chef's sudden outburst, quickly hushed up.

* * *

Jerome's BBQ sauce commercial lasted exactly seven minutes and seven seconds. During that time frame, Jerome gave a long speech about his worldview/philosophy, all the way comparing it to his custom BBQ sauces. Jerome ended his commercial by singing "Lean on Me"; albeit with altered lyrics such as "Lean on my BBQ sauce" and "It'll help you endure when you have sorrows."

After the commercial finished, the judges gave their honest opinions on the commercial. "Well that sucked." Chef said bluntly. "That was incredibly boring, plus your obsession with BBQ sauce went from amusing to creepy. Two thumbs down from me."

Scott actually gave the commercial a thumbs up, mostly because he found Jerome's bizarre cover of "Lean on Me" hilarious. The screen on Scott's trauma chair displayed text saying "Looks like we found the next Weird Al."

Chris fell asleep half way through the commercial. But after he was done with his quick nap, Chris described his opinion on the commercial with a drawn out "BORRRRRINNNNNNNGG!"

"Well with two thumbs down, Jerome's commercial fails." Chef said. "Seriously boy, you need to tone down your BBQ sauce worshiping."

"Hey!" Jerome said, obviously offended. "I might make a lot of BBQ sauce metaphors, but it's not like I follow a BBQ sauce religion or anything!"

Viktoriya smirked. "Heh, could've fooled me." Duncan chuckled at Viktoriya's joke, much to the envy of his girlfriend.

Jerome narrowed his eyes at Viktoriya. "I hate you so much."

"Really? I _never _would have guessed!" Viktoriya retorted with extreme sarcasm.

Jerome smirked. "Not surprising, considering how dumb you are."

"I AM NOT IDIOTIC IN ANYWAY!" Viktoriya screamed, her face red with anger. "I happen to have an I.Q. of 171, thank you very much!"

"Really? Then why do you act like a witch and treat your teammates like Crap?" Jerome asked rhetorically. "That's pretty idiotic behavior if you ask me. Since everybody hates you, you're practically guaranteed to be voted off!"

Viktoriya narrowed her eyes. "How will anybody get the chance to vote me off? I will never lose a challenge; ergo, I will never be eliminated."

"Oh you _will_ be booted off this show." Jerome said with utmost confidence. "I'll _personally_ make sure it happens."

Viktoriya was not fazed by Jerome's threat. "Yeah right. In your dreams!"

"But of course!" Jerome said. "Every night I have wonderful dreams about personally eliminating every villain on this show! And my dream _will _become a reality."

"You're delusional Jerome!" Viktoriya yelled.

"Well _you're_ a horrible person!" Jerome yelled in response.

"Sheesh guys." Jo said, interrupting their little fight. "You shouldn't be having this lover's quarrel in public!"

**"LOVER'S QUARREL?!" **Jerome, Viktoriya, and Heather yelled simultaneously.

"Are you demented?!" Viktoriya yelled at Jo. "I hate Jerome."

"And hate isn't a strong enough word to accurately describe how much I despise Viktoriya!" Jerome yelled.

"Hey, calm down!" Jo said, raising her arms defensively. "I was just joking!"

"Yeah, that's why I'm laughing so hard." Viktoriya and Jerome said simultaneously with sarcasm.

Noah quirked an eyebrow and deadpanned "Maybe Jo is on to something."

"The _only_ thing Jo is on is my list of most despised Total Drama characters." Jerome responded.

"Wow, I expected a better insult from you Jerome." Jo responded.

Tyler stepped in between Jo and Jerome. "Look guys! Let's all calm down! We've got to get this chapter moving along so that we can finish this challenge!" Tyler quickly regretted his statement. "Let me guess..." Tyler looked down and saw my author notes.

"Me and my big fat mouth." Tyler said as he face-palmed. However this was a bad idea, because Tyler slapped himself with his strong fingers with such force that the clumsy jock gave himself a black eye as he fell to the ground. "OH COME ON!"

* * *

Author Note

[1] Jerome's BBQ sauce metaphors are partially inspired by Alejandro's burrito metaphors in _Total Drama Returns. _However it was also inspired by the fact that I find myself making elaborate metaphors for relatively mundane things. For example, fedoras. To an extant, they protect us from the sun's harmful rays. However, we can't prevent sunburn with fedoras alone. We need sunblock! In other words, the fedoras represent the fact that a person can change for the better, but he can never do that by himself, needing outside assistance from the sunblock provided by God, family, and friends.

* * *

Wow, it's been nearly three months guys! Once again, I apologize for not updating, especially since I already had practically everything in this chapter in my head all this time. Now onto some good and bad news. The good news is that with all that time, I managed to do a lot more planning in my head for episode five, which will make it easier to write. The bad news is that I started my latest semester of college about a month ago, which was one of the main factors delaying this chapter. And I have tons of schoolwork to do. So updates aren't going to be as frequent as I'd like. Still, I'm gonna try to update at least once a month, perhaps more depending on my work load.

Anyways, originally I was planning on finishing up all of episode four in this chapter. However, that would take a lot of time to write, and I really wanted to give you guys a chapter as soon as I could. So it looks like episode four will be split into four parts. Normally I would try to avoid that, but hey! This episode is an homage to _Total Drama Returns_, so it makes since to make this particular episode crazy long.

My favorite part of this chapter is Courtney overcoming her perfectionism. I had that planned out for quite some time, but only when I typed it out did I realize that I was subconsciously writing about my own perfectionist tenancies. Often times I'm overly critical of my own work, sometimes feeling unsatisfied with a few chapters. However you guys often surprise me with how much you enjoy certain chapters. (For example, when I first wrote chapters four and nine respectively, I felt that they were rather weak, but several reviewers loved them!) Anyways, now I have more confidence in my writing skills!

I also have several references to _Total__ Drama Returns _in this chapter, but I decided not to point all of them out in the author's notes, since I think it's more interesting to see how many of them my reviewers will pick up on. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, because I have many other references to _Total Drama Returns _planned. See ya'll next time.

* * *

Next Time on Total Drama Fan-Fiction Theater: Episode Four will finally conclude. With six commercials left, it's still anybody's game! Will the Sue Crew win again? Will the Fanon Fixers lose again? Will Trent ever get screen-time? What will happen when Duncan enjoys Viktoriya's performance in Pablo's commercial too much? And who will be the next contestant taking a ride to Play De Losers via the Lame-o-sine? Find out whenever I get the chance to update this story.


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